She has dated boys her own age, only to find them vulgar, showing no respect towards her and looking only for one thing sex. She has not engaged in this at this time. We have a unique relationship she and I and I cherish this. She was quite up front with me from the very beginning. She would just like to meet this boy or should I say young man. I've seen his my-space and must admit it is nothing like the my-spaces I've seen of others. He is presently going to college to seek a degree in business. My daughter is very mature for her age. He is eager to meet us and was up front with my daughter wanting to know if she spoke to my husband and I. She told him she did. He wanted to know how we felt about this situation. She also was up front with her answer. We are not happy about the 4 1/2 year difference but we have to think some more about it and know a bit more about him. Presently this is where we stand at the moment.
2007-03-17 15:53:53 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I have an 18 year old daughter and we have a good relationship too. I too would be ambivalent about her meeting an older guy... because let's face it, 4 + years is a difference.
That being said, however, you need to keep in mind that she could have gone behind your back to meet him. She didn't. And he isn't either. Which is a really good sign.
And also, she'll soon be 18 and pretty much able to do what she wants. So why not invite this young man to supper, meet and greet him and see what you think once you've met him. I know I definitely wouldn't want them to meet on their own since you don't know this guy from a hole in the wall. And if you're wary then, you can always have him checked out. And do some checking yourself. Call the place where he says he goes to school. Ask to speak to one of his teachers. Talk with his parents. What do they think of the situation?
Keep the communication channels open... and don't shut the door on this because it might just slam in your face... If you trust and respect you daughter, and you like the guy and feel he's the real deal, let them get together at your house to begin with. Take it from there.
2007-03-17 16:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 19 years old. I always dated older men, as well. My parents would let me see who I wanted because I was also a mature girl for my age. I don't think a 4 year age gap is too substantial. I think it's great. And you can look at this two ways, I guess. He may also be mature, and know how to treat your daughter with respect. At the same time, he might not be any different than the 17 year old boys who only want sex. Being 22, he might want it more... or be able to get into bars and find it easier...
Someone had mentioned that "MySpace" doesn't mean anything. As an avid MySpacer... I'm actually on it right now... I think it means alot! As silly as it sounds, EVERYONE can see your MySpace. All of your friends, and anyone else who wants to know. MySpace is not the place to tell lies or make yourself out to be someone that you're not. If he seems like a good guy, he probably is.
I believe is your daughter is almost 18 years old, she is certainly old enough to give things proper judgement... and very soon, her relationships arent going to be something you can protect anymore. We all have to learn on our own... sometimes the hard way.
Wishing her the best.
2007-03-17 23:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by Miranda Lynn V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very tough situation. Honestly, how does she know this guy or is it just through the internet so far? I have to say that an "overly" friendly person who wants to be involved in the whole family reminds me of a movie titled "Fear" with Reese Witherspoon. Okay, so I'm a little on the very cautious side, but really. Did you know that Scott Peterson was a very upstanding gentleman seeking a degree also? Okay, I guess I may tend to scare you, but what does this guy see in your 17 year old that he couldn't find from the hundreds of college girls he goes to college with? And, why did he really ask if your daughter had told you all about him? Do you know if it was truly innocent? Nothing would be worse than to set your own daughter up for misery. My 17 year old daughter is also very mature, and she finds guys her age immature for the most part and many are interested in alcohol and sex (which she is saving for marriage.) The 21, 22 and 23 year olds that she happens to meet are also immature, but more free to be so. It's that they're more into alcohol, drugs and sex and more straight-forward about it all. I admit these older ones she meets are through a fast food place where she works. None of them have any drive to better their lives with college. It's pretty disgusting really! So, you may have to decide for yourself. I would try to find out more about this guy before you decide to meet him. See if his life is "picture perfect". If it is, I'd stay away 'cause that would be a little too good to be true, and he's painting a false picture for you. Just be careful. Be careful if you watch the movie "Fear" because it's very intense and will scare the daylights out of you. Good Luck!
2007-03-17 23:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Elle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you say that your daughter is very mature for her age and you seem to think that this guy is A-OK,,,I don't think the age difference is that great. Just be sure and get to know him better in person. It seems like he is willing to come and meet you and your husband. Go from there...
2007-03-17 22:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it! She is 17 not 12. You don't need our approval. You are being a great parent. Allow her to meet and get to know men! Her being honest with you shows that she is mature enough to handle the situation!
2007-03-17 22:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like Older guys too,but not like more than 1 or 2 yrs older.If she's mature and if the guy seems well behaved,then don't worry.If your daughter isn't happy with him,she'll move on.17 yr old guys do tend to be silly at times.
2007-03-17 23:03:14 · answer #6 · answered by *G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite him over to dinner to meet him personally and have a little talk with him. He may be a little older but he seemes to be mature and has plans for his life other than becominh a rock star or actor like most kids in high school.
2007-03-17 23:01:54 · answer #7 · answered by Patrick K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do not let her date him, unless you want a grandkid. Lets be honest, there is only one reason a 22 yr old man wants to date a 17 yr old girl, and its not because he finds her more witty and intellectually interesting than the girls he is at college with. He wants to **** her, and you need to ask yourself why he can't get lucky with a girl his own age. Probably because he can't dominate them. Steer clear.
4 1/2 years doesn't matter when you are 30, it does matter when you are 17.
2007-03-17 23:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by lastknown_99 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I was 17 my bf was 21 and my dad was cool w/ it because he knew him to be a nice guy, he was. We dated about a year, never had any problems either. We parted as friends.
2007-03-17 23:01:21 · answer #9 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hated boys, my own age.
I still do not like men my own age.
My husband is 17 years older than I am.
My dad was 30 years older than my mom.
He has passed away now.
2007-03-17 22:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by jenshensnest 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋