My daughter won't brush her teeth?

Question

I have a 3 year old that refuses to brush, I have to hold her head under my arm and hold her hands down so I can brush them. Sometimes it takes both my wife and I to get them brushed. My son was never like this and it's terribly frustrating. We've tried new toothbrushes and her own special toothpaste, but the kid won't brush. Any ideas?

Answer 1

Good heavens! That sounds like an ordeal.

Maybe it would be better to give her some internal motivation.

Perhaps she will need to pay for her own cavities. She can earn money by doing chores and that money can be used for toys or dental care.

If that sounds too extreme, you might take her to the dentist and have him/her show her how big girls brush their teeth. She can give her an hour glass that runs for 2 minutes (the length of time they should brush), etc.

If that doesn't work, you might try not buying her favorite treats until she is brushing her teeth on her own twice a day. You may do this two ways: 1) provide her with one treat the day after she brushes twice. do this each day she brushes twice. 2) tell her she must get into the habit of it before you'll buy her treats again and have her brush twice a day for a week before the treats start. You keep hold of them and dole them out based on whether or not she brushes.

Also, so you don't get caught in the nagging vortex (and so she starts to learn responsibility) you can remind her once in the morning and once at night to brush. If she does, she gets the treat. If not, she doesn't.

This is especially effective if everyone eats dessert and she does not get any because she's not brushing. There will be a tantrum to which you can reply, "I'll be happy to give you a dessert tomorrow night if you brush your teeth tonight and again in the morning. Would you like me to remind you about it?"

Answer 2

Brutal honesty is the best method, I found. Take her to library and check out some books that will show teeth that have bottle rot, if you know someone that has them; teach her about dentures. My brother, 32, already has dentures. Both of my girls saw what his teeth were like before he had them pulled. (he tried brushing, but it was too little too late). Her pediatrician may also have charts with pictures. Ask her if that's what she wants in her mouth. Tell her how bad her breath will be and that the dentist would have to pull her teeth too, if she doesn't take care of them. I would never want a child to be scared of the dentist, that's why I don't suggest taking her to a dentist for the reality check. Find a good pediatric dentist and arrange a "visit", not an appointment. If it's a good dentist, they'll take it slow and won't force anything on her. You don't want the visit to be traumatic. Do G'ma and/or G'pa have dentures? Does she know it's because they don't have their natural teeth anymore? (yes, i know the elderly don't lose their teeth just because of poor oral hygiene, but you want to make a point to her) Holding her down to brush is probably making her more defiant. Personally, I think pictures would have the greatest impact. Have you tried just flat out asking her why she doesn't want to brush? I haven't tried this but maybe you could have her help you brush your teeth, let her do it, and in return she needs to have you help her. Just a thought. Good luck, wish I had a better answer for you.

Answer 3

I haven't had this problem myself... but I think I would tackle this one similarly to potty training. First of all, her teeth are not going to rot out in a few weeks or even a month of not brushing them... so first and foremost I say stop "forcing" the issue. Holding her down is absolutly going to make the problem worse. Take a step back and ignore her defiant attitude toward brushing. In fact, ignore her when it comes to brushing... but only on the surface. Try to have everyone in the family brush their teeth when she can see them (even walk out of the bathroom to the room she is in brushing just so that she can see that everyone else does it). Don't ask if she wants to brush hers, just brush yours and let her see that you're doing it and NOT pushing her to do it too. After a few days of this, start asking if she would like to brush her teeth WITH you... or even if she would like to try brushing your teeth FOR you. If/when she says no, just say "OK, well I'm going to go brush my teeth now then, I want to have a nice clean mouth for kissing Mommy!" then go into the other room and brush. If she comes following, let her watch... don't ask again... but do give her the brush if she asks. I would try this method for a week or so. Perhaps some of this mind play will get her interested... then take her to the store, but don't make a big deal out of it... when you get to the toothbrush section... pull out a couple pretty ones and just show her. Don't push anything, you're just showing what they look like and which ones YOU like. If she seems interested in discussing which ones are pretty, or cool, or neat or whatever... then ask her if she would like to pick one out for herself. If she's interested, you could even give her the money so that she can pay for it herself at the register. I'd try staying on the "I don't care if you want to or not... just thought I'd ask" track for a while... it generally works with other things... so give it a try! Again, her teeth are not going to get horrible in just a month... so give it time and don't "push". You could also get some KIDS mouthwash for her to try out in the mean time... it's not brushing, but it's better than nothing while she's fighting the brush if she'll use it! I think just about every kid likes to GARGLE... maybe that will help get her a little interested in the bathroom too!

Answer 4

they have a toothbrush that plays music. or give her a small prize like a sticker every time she brushes her teeth.