My bf and I are going to have a baby in October. Right now we're in college together. I'm graduating in May and planning to move back home to have the baby. It's 1000 miles away from here and my bf has to stay to finish his degree. I don't know if its best for the baby if i stay here with him or if go home. I have a loving family with 8,11,and 14 year old brothers and sisters, 2 great parents and plenty of space and resources. Should I stay here and struggle through a failing relationship with the father or go home where there is stability?
2007-03-17 14:17:40 · 22 answers · asked by Freaked out 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Go home. If the father isn't there for you now, he never will be.
2007-03-17 14:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by luna 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know that I will probably be in the minority, but I feel a stable extended family is much better.
I have put my older three through the hassle of an unstable father figure. It's not a pretty site. The fights, the dishonesty, the lies, the heartache really take a toll on kids. And believe me, they will know. You may think you are hiding it from them, but they know.
An extended family that is there for you and them is,to me,the next best thing to a wonderful father. You will need the support of someone and if he isn't the one, your family will be. I really wish I had known this when mine were growing up. I love my kids, but I know that I could have done better for them than I did.
Kids need the stability and love they will get from the extended family. The baby will be better off in the long run.
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-03-17 14:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by kara3967 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely go home, the last thing you want to do with a new baby is a struggling relationship. A lot of people aren't as lucky as you to have such a great family! If it's meant to be with you and you bf it will, who knows maybe some space could do the trick and bring you and your bf closer together! But it's your life your choice whatever you decide to do just make sure it's the right decision for you and your baby and nobody else. Good luck!
2007-03-17 14:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by houtskc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definantly go home. If you and the father are having problems now imagin how things will be nearing October! My boyfriend and I had a baby and thought our relationship was good. He left for the army after we got married and blamed him leaving on our daughter! That's quite a nuts thing if you ask me. Why would you blame leaving for a career on a 4 months old? Now we are not even together because he blames a brunt of his problems on me and her. If your family is stable and will help you with your baby then go to them. And don't even look at what could possibly be because it may not ever get any better.
2007-03-17 16:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by xo_mary.mary_ox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
home where there is stability. this is way better for you and baby in the long run and after the father gets his stuff together he can come be with you. having a baby requires plenty of support and if the father isnt willing or able to provide that, you need to be home. furthermore, it isnt fair to deny your family the joy of the baby, and you will need all the help you can get. if the father truly has an interest in his child he will make any and all arrangements to move near the baby (and you) once he is able.
2007-03-17 14:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go Home!! I had my daughter back home away from my now ex bf. She turned out wonderful with me and my extented family. She now sees her father for an hour every other week after not seeing him for a year and a half
2007-03-19 15:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by Jackie * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A stable extended family would be better, but don't forget that the father has rights too. He deserves to be a part of his child's life.
2007-03-17 15:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by sllcone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go home, you and your baby will never have to want there. You both will also have all the support, there you won't have any of those things. He can come see his kid whenever he wants. and when he graduates then he can come back and be with you guys. Good luck and i wish you the best.
2007-03-17 14:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by sarah 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Have a hard time accepting compliments (still working on that) 2. I don't tell friends when I am angry with them 3. I secretly get jealous sometimes
2016-03-29 03:38:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go home. You and your baby are a lot better off with support and stability.
2007-03-17 14:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by sylvyahr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stable extended family is always better. the child will grow up with love and it will give you some time to see where the father's head is at.
2007-03-17 14:21:55 · answer #11 · answered by milton b 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋