my GF and I, I made a choice?

Question

ok, last time i told all of you about my gf. if you don't know what im talking about, i wil explain again. ok this is how it goes, my gf whos 23 years old, i been dating for a while now. anyway before she dated me, she had a ex bf, and they made the choice to have a baby, but broke up a few weeks later. anyway she told me she was going to have a baby thats not even mine!. we never had sex, and she said shes going to keep the baby. anyway i came here and asked for advice, and i told her how i felt. i said im glad shes keeping the baby, and im still going to be with her, i love her, and i will help her take care of the baby. im 18, and my 23 year old gf is having a baby thats not mine, but i made the choice to stay. i got a job, and i can help her if she needs it. were not getitng married, and she said shes never going to see her ex again. i love her, and if that means baby sitting the baby if she has to go somewhere, i won't mind. what are your thoughts on this? and be 100% honest

Answer 1

I think you are a very good man and she is lucky to have you. I don't think you should hold the baby against her because she made that choice before you. Be there for her. Her baby will need a father figure and it will make you a better man. I'm proud of you!

Answer 2

Well depends were you with her before she got pregnant and then she got pregnant by someone else..meaning did she cheat on you....If she did your a dumbass...sorry.........If she didn't,........and you recently started dating and she just found out she's having a baby not so long ago, then it's ok...You're doing a very noble thing...be proud that you are a man..
but i hope you start getting laid if you're gonna be with a pregnant girl...sorry again,but true...how does she feel about this whole situation,what does her ex think. He's gonna be part of her life forever wether you want to see that or not No matter what she thinks she's gonna end up seeing him again.It's a child not a puppy..Once the baby grows up he's gonna want to meet his real dad and you or your gf won't be able to stop him.Does your gf even want you to stay and be part of her life or did you choose this on your own..ask her if she tells you to do whatever you want then she can care less cuz she's planning to get back with her ex.If she wanted a baby with her ex then she loved him very much and possibly still does.and always will. be careful..Dude, you're young.Live your life. I don't think you should take on the responsibility of being someone elses dad right now,go to school and be someone..cuz not even with a high school diploma will you make enough money to support yourself your gf and a child.She can tell you she doesn't need your money if she wants but if you stay together this will be your responsibility regardless.but if you're gonna stay with her no matter what,and i think you will because you wouldn't be asking if you weren't. then, still go to school so that if one day you marry her you can offer her and her baby the best things that you can.A family is a very hard thing to have and harder to keep.Love doesn't put food on the table.what does your family think about this.have you told them.they can't be too happy.Dude i just hope she's not using you to make her ex jealous or to have you support her kid.What about when the child grows and you yell at him for doing something wrong,then she tells you.Don't yell at my son you're not his father...ooh,what are you gonna do then.It may all be ok.may not. she is older than you by 5 years which is not a great thing.she may leave you in a couple of months for an older more maturer man...You really just have to follow your heart and see where it takes you.Good luck! Who knows maybe you will be happy forever.....just remember that her ex will always be a part of your lives..That includes you too.Only if you stay with her.I suggest don't marry her,yet..see where your relationship goes first.take care!

Answer 3

This is a big responsiblity. You are going to be playing dad to someone's child that you are not married to?!?!?! Ok so put this into your mind. Scan forward to the birth of the child. You are there in the delivery room. You cut the childs cord. Everything is picture perfect. You get the baby home and for the first weeks it is HECTIC! But you love the baby because the child is a part of your girlfriend. You buy the baby diapers, formula, clothes, shoes, food, first hair cuts, you take the baby to the doctors. ETC. Then boom your girlfriend breaks up with you. How ARE YOU going to be able to cope with the loss of a child that wasn't really yours to begin with?

I say that in the best interest of your heart you need to set some ground rules to protect yourself from losing not only a girlfriend but a child. Maybe get married so you can be on the birth certificate or what not. I am not sure how it goes but I would not ask a boyfriend to take on the responsiblity of being a parent unless I wanted to marry them. I know wouldn't also allow my boyfriend to take on the responsibility either unless we were married.

So I guess what I am saying is either get married or don't do it.

Answer 4

I hope you dont take this personally because you sound like a very nice young kid. But thats what you are, a kid. Youre only 18, you have your whole life in front of you. youll b in college the next few years, and will probably not have any time to see the baby. Also, you may say you have a job, but without an education, how good of a job is it really? Can you support your girlfriend and child? I doubt it. But this is your choice and you really seem to like your g/f since your willing to stay with her thorugh this. Alos, she may say shell never see her ex again, but shell have to for custody visits. Again, you seem like a good kid and this is what I honeslty think.

Answer 5

Dude you are Crazy, Sure you like the girl but to say you are willing to raise another mans child that's nuts, Do you honestly believe she will never see this guy again. That is the father of her child He will be around.

Now let me get this straight she is pregnant with this dudes kid, which means they broke up less than 9 mths ago. and in this nine mths you fell in love with her. You have to seriously think about this. You barley know her so do not tell her you are willing to stay around and raise this child, and do not expect the Father to stay away. Also don't be surprised if she ends up leaving you for the father once the kid is born.

Answer 6

be very careful here. it seems admirable, but the bottom line is you haven't been with this girl very long and she's in a very vulnerable position. she may take advantage of you and your kindness.

also consider that if you stay with her a while and it doesn't work out for you two, the the baby may be attached to you and that isn't fair to that child.

I suggest some counseling and perhaps some parenting classes -for you and her. Her to get her some help and guidance and you so that you have a better understanding of what is at stake here.

good luck to you both. i hope things work out for the best

Answer 7

I think that's great you are so supportive, but that's an awful lot for you to do, esp being that you're 18. Is he going to pay child support? Will the child call you dad? Do you plan on staying with her? Since there will be a child involved in this equation you need to consider the future of that child. Good luck.

Answer 8

wow, That's pretty intense, As a mother of 2 children and being young as well, I have to wonder why she would be so persistant to have a baby with her ex, and than break up, and ask you to be the father figure, And I do beleive she'll have to see her ex again on behalf of the baby, (child- support, ect.) I think your a pretty nice guy for thinking this through and for putting yourself out there like that. good luck.

Answer 9

Your gf is playing you for a sap. She is never going to see the kids dad again? Yah right she will see that guy for the next 20 years. She is using you man, you are the pay check da jour. run far away as fast as you can.

Answer 10

Don't tell the child your not it's Father, if u luv it's mom, you'll certainly luv the baby....Treat it like the child you never had.....Besides, you can always adopt the baby...Build a new life around this problem and solve the rest together....

P.S. Let us no how it all works out!