It's been a month ago since we had sex. I asked him why and he said its stress and depression because he is currently unemploy and staying home taking care of our child.(he is not the real dad & he knows it) He also said he is not physically attracted to me anymore. He says he still loves me. what should I do? Should i stay to work things out?...after he finds a job maybe it will go back to it was before. Should I leave so both of us can be happy? I don't think nothing is wrong with me, I'm hot and sweet-so changing anything is the answer. Does he really loves me? Can the attraction comes back to him? He also said sex to him does not feel good anymore. He doesn't have any problem getting it up. And I feel like he is detached since he started staying home and taking care of the baby. I love him but if he doesn't find me attractive then I'm scared he will cheat on me. I need a good advice.
2007-03-17 14:04:41 · 15 answers · asked by aighngel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he lets you, you should become involved in his job hunting. He is depressed partly because of this. He feels like he isn't getting anywhere in life. Even a part time job is better than none (I have a part time job). My girlfreind has taken some interest in my job searching and I came close to getting a position that she encouraged me to apply for. Even though I didn't get the job, her interst made me feel like I wasn't alone with my problem. Looking after a child at home is very difficult, partly because it is very boring and isolating at times...this is also a possible source of depression.
Maybe if your bf wasn't so depressed he would feel attracted to you again. However, this is definately a big problem and a bad sign. You need to get him interested in sex again. Vary what you wear and how you look (eg hair style). You may be hot but variety is one of the the keys, otherwise he will look elsewhere. You could even try some things you don't normally do or have never done before to spice things up. Don't do this all the time, just sometimes to keep him interested. Such things could be as simple as oral sex or something more adventureous like anal sex or bondage. My gf hardly ever gives me oral but when she does I feel like she must really care for me to give me this rare treat. It makes me really care for her back, especially since she is a Vegan and must spit it out again (lol).
2007-03-17 14:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have a relationship with a stranger, if you give him the time of day!
If you mean, can you have a loving relationship without having sex,..yes!
If you have a respect for your spouse and they know it, that's all that you need!
Sex is never as good as it once was but if you try a little abstinence...?
Talking is under rated when it comes to understanding each other and when you both know that you care for each other, it doesn't matter that the sex is not like it was!
I've been in a relationship for thirty years, on January 3, and sex is pretty-much, something you read about!
You and your spouse are going to feel less attractive to each other, at some time in an ongoing relationship and that will be common.
Although, if you haven't been in this relationship long enough to be carrying his baby, his not being attracted to you sexually is not common and may be more of a sign, that should be read very carefully!
After you've talked with him for a few days or more, if you feel like leaving, than it would be best.
Before you both have children!
Also, if all you have between the two of you is a past sex life, don't put your child through a bad relationship!
2007-03-17 21:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is hard on a guy being at home and looking after a kid. Though things are changing it still is not the conventional thing to do. It is kind of robbing him of his balls. So I am not surprised that he has lost interest in sex. I don';t think it is anything to do with you. I don't think it is anything to do with it not being his kid. It is all about him and how he is feeling like a house frau. Sounds like you love him, and he is a good guy looking after th kid. Stick with it but don't press the sex thing right now. Try to find him a job so he can get his self esteem back.
2007-03-17 21:11:40 · answer #3 · answered by beachloveric 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you can love some one with out there being any physical attrition but it hurt to stay that way. You may thinks your hot some thing about you to him isn't any more maybe you could do you hair different or dress a little sexier but only for him show him how much you love him and let him go out one night a week with his Friends so he can have some fun and stop worrying so much about ever thing
2007-03-17 21:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by cfhjufdrbko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the depression answer. Women who stay home with their babies all day sometimes lose interest in sex, too. I would say see if he is open to counseling. If he strongly resists, then it may be something else, like he is cheating.
2007-03-17 21:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by Kynthia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feels that he is wasting his time sitting about taking care of someone elses kid. I dont know why he is turning down the sex, that would be the only thing making it worthwhile staying. Maybe he is cheating on you already, or on drugs, either way, you should probaby invest in another babysitter and get him out of the house one way or the other.
2007-03-17 21:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how long has he been unemployed and why?? is he depressed>>he may be feeling rejected because you work and he dont..its no fun staying home all day..if you really love each other you need to see a counselor that can work out your problems,,,good luck.
2007-03-17 21:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by mary c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be in love without having sex. It not just about that. It's about respecting and understanding each other in a way. Just support him and maybe he would be attracted to you again.
2007-03-17 21:08:26 · answer #8 · answered by vexen431 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that it is possible to have a relationship without physical attraction. If you want to have a relationship with someone you have to be attracted to that person. There is this guy and he says that he is in a relationship with someone else and I think that he is very attractive, very handsome, and very good-looking.
2007-03-17 21:17:55 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi T 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have you try new position?not all the time that it feels good if your over doing it, "too much is bad for your health" he he...or maybe he is just losing his sense of dignity...if you can help him in some how maybe giving back his dignity will help him to be back on track. or if you leave maybe you might want him to feel that you want him to and maybe miss you and want to have you even more.
2007-03-17 21:15:26 · answer #10 · answered by jackusher16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋