Alright. I hate myself. I hate almost everything about myself, and I don't understand how anybody could love me. However, I have a boyfriend who loves me very much. The problem is that I have a hard time believing that he loves me or that he's sexually attracted to me, because I hate myself so much. I want to trust him, but I just can't believe him. I can't believe that ANYBODY would love me or find me attractive.
2007-03-17 13:53:24 · 11 answers · asked by JaniesTiredShoes 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I understand, it's OK.... most people are in your situation, believe it or not, and the solution is just to accept things as they are.... I know this is not what society teaches, and their facade is just a facade. It's all about accepting yourself, and that's love. You can do this, and just talking about it may help.
2007-03-17 16:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by unseen_force_22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would think this would be difficult for you to admit, hats off to u. Now alot of times when people have been abused sexually, mentally in any way it effects them 2 ways and if you are use to pain u will expect it and if one particular person isnt giving you friction you actually create it yurself sometimes without even realizing it. before you seek love in others u gotta half self esteem now sometimes if one feels the way u do you can have self esteem but you are listening to negative feedback from u head and i guess ill need more info. if your b friend hasnt given reason for u to feel this way id say maybe read on about what it is gong on with u ( not meant to sound negative. I ve been in yur shoes so i understand
2007-03-17 21:01:53 · answer #2 · answered by yusuf shahid 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i went through the same thing..hating myself and no self esteem. i messed up a relationship with someone that loved me very much...he just couldnt take anymore of my insecurities and behavior...after he left i went to counseling and resolved issues in my life that led to the low self esteem. i took pride in myself and pushed myself to change my thinking. i made myself say "thank you" when someone told me i looked nice (instead of "yeah right"). slowly little things made a difference. dont get me wrong, i still have lapses with my looks, but i am so much better...it can be done if you're tired of it enough. Something to remember...confidence is attractive and sexy, the" broken record" of low self esteem drives people away....
2007-03-17 21:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by psycho_mistress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't trust or believe in someone else because you don't like yourself. See I look at it this way,if you don't like yourself,you certainly can't like anyone else. If someone is telling you that they love you ,you should embrace that thought and try to look in the mirror one time and say YES I AM A BEAUTIFUL PERSON and someone LOVES ME.Some one sees that you are a beautiful personI i hope that this person can get through to you and show you,you are beautiful.
2007-03-17 21:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by happyfingers1@verizon.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't change your "Self Talk", you will undermine this relationship and lose him. But more importantly is what you are doing to yourself. Please stop beating yourself up. I suggest you find a good therapist and make an appointment soon. Another thing you can try is consciously making it a point to say "good" things to yourself. Try meditating at least once a day and say the following affirmation... as you take a deep breath in, say silently to yourself... "I love".... as you breath out, say... "Myself". Again... breathe in and say... "I love".... breathe out and say ... "Myself". I know this sounds fruity, but I know someone who once had very low self esteem from years of emotional abuse, and using this mantra, she slowly found herself LOVING herself! It doesn't happen over night, but if you do this every day, I know you will see a change happen... you will FEEL it happen. What we tell ourselves is what we believe. Another thing you can do is to sit down and write down every single thing you would love to see in yourself. For instance... I am beautiful. I have a good heart. I am smart. I am sexy. People love to be around me. Put it somewhere where you can see it daily and every day, at least once, read each and every thing on it and repeat it to yourself out loud. Do these things long enough... (give it at least 6 weeks) and I promise you will feel better and see a change in you. It's all about "self programming".
Be good to yourself. You truly are worth it.
2007-03-17 21:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound mean or anything but everyone at some point in their lives find that they hate themselves. You have a man and that should make you feel 100% better about yourself. I personally think you need to see a psychatrist(sp?) if you can't have self-esteem because your b/f loves u and u need to trust him.
2007-03-17 20:58:27 · answer #6 · answered by jacaca25 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
honey you need counsilling
you are one of the few people who have a guy that loves you enough to stick with you through your health problem
God put you here on earth for a reason =you have to figure out what it is yet he loves you=thats why he created you through your parents= look in the mirror every day and tell yourself you are a pretty and lovable person
good luck hun
2007-03-17 21:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by caffsans 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i honestly think u shouldnt have a bf. if your self esteem is that low. its not healthy. you dont believe him when he says your beautiful or that he loves you. your gonna end up chaising him away and then your self esteem is gonna get worse. depression might set in. i think you need to find someone to talk to. maybe talk to your bf and tell him whats going on. if he loves you, he will understand and be supportive while you get help. good luck!
2007-03-17 21:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to try snd seek help if you havent already...You need your boyfriend and I think its good he loves you...So you must not be so hard on yourself everyone has flaws but we have to take it no matter what cause thats what we were given...You will have to end up working on the inside first...Go to the mirror every morning (even if it is hard) and take a look at yourself keep your head up even on your worse day...
Remember Keep your head up please.....
2007-03-17 21:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by **Mishelly** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I can't imagine you not having some traits that you can love. If you can love your b/f I'm sure that you can find something to love of yourself. Good luck and God bless.
2007-03-17 21:05:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋