The father thinks just because I dont make $50,000 dollars a year like himself.... I am unsuitable to take care of our child, I make about 12,000-14,000 a year. I live w/ my Mom in a one bedroom apartment. He lives with his Mom in a 3 bedroom house. I loved my child from the start he asked me to abort it several times. Now he wants to get sole custody. Would I have a chance at having custody? I didnt know I had to be wealthy to have a child.
2007-03-17 13:47:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Custody determinations tend to vary slightly by state.
If you're in what's commonly referred to as a "mother's rights" state (which, to be honest, is most of them), your chances of retaining custody are good.
If the child is over a year old and you have been the sole custodial parent, even better.
Financially, I wouldn't be all that worried about his standing. His making fifty grand a year may only mean that he will be obligated to pay way more child support than either of you figure. His being the greater income earner certainly does not, in the eyes of the court, make him the most appropriate parent to have residential custody.
The other things that influence custody decisions: any history of criminal activity or drug abuse (either of you), housing situation, general health and happiness of the child, any involvement with a Children's Services agency.
Good Luck - I'd say he's bluffing to try to scare you. It's pretty common in younger guys..the whole "I'm gonna sue for custody thing". Trust me, he doesn't really want it (although maube his mother does!)
2007-03-17 14:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by sylvyahr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child custody is determined by a number of factors that all add up to what is best for the child. Living in a one bedroom apartment is NOT a good thing for a child because the child needs their own bedroom. Your ex's feelings during your pregnancy doesn't enter into the decision. It is not about who loves the child more, who makes the most money, who can give what to the child...it is about what is best for that child and no one else. Your ex stands a much better chance at total custody because he CAN provide what the child needs better than you can. You may not like it but that is the way it goes. The child's needs and ONLY the child's needs come first in the eyes of the law.
2007-03-17 14:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are many determinants. It's definitely not all about money. Of course you have a chance at custody. Worldwide, mothers are generally favoured whether that's right or not, it's how it is. You don't have to be wealthy to have a child. Look at all the hippies (and they still exist). People with no money used to bring up kids.
What you have to show is that you are a loving parent, will pay attention to your kid, that you will provide a healthy diet, a comfortable home, a healthy lifestyle in general.
Maybe you can think of some of the reasons why you wouldn't get custody, then really examine those ideas.
2007-03-17 13:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what state you live in, yes, being more wealthy means that that party has a higher chance of custody over the child unfortunately. But, as you are the mother you have a much higher chance of getting custody. Only 18% of males get sole custody over a child, just because females are deemed more suitable.
However, this will all be dependent on if you have done anything against the law before. If they find that you have been arrested previously (which i am not insinuating) this may greatly alter the case to the fathers side.
2007-03-17 13:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by CUBE. 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you dont at all! my mom was a single parent living with her mom and dad making about the same as you and she won custody hands down. if he wants to take you to court go for it! Just make sure you take people that know he wanted you to have an abortion anyone that might have been around when he mentioned it would be great! bring up the idea that if he dosent think you have enough money to raise the child maybe he should be paying more child support! worst case that can happen for you would be split custody where the child would get to go with the father usually every second weekend... but still live with you primarily! Good luck.. hope it helps!
2007-03-17 13:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by little missy--->♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should take a look at what attorneys have said regarding the question. The source below has free attorney answers to related questions such as:
(1) "How is child custody determined?"
(2) "How is custody determined regarding an absentee father?"
(3) "How is child custody determined in a military family?"
(4) "How is custody determined if the case of neglect?"
(5) "How will child support be determined when grandparents have custody instead of either parent? - Avvo"
Further, articles & resources by legal professionals:
(1) "How is Child Support Determined? - AllLaw"
(2) "How is Child Support Determined? - AllLaw"
(3) "How is Child Support Determined and Paid in Minnesota? - Avvo"
2014-12-19 09:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Family Law Help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child custody is determined by not only how much the parents make. Though that is a big factor. You have to be able to support you and the child in question. Also if the child is old enough it depends on who the child is better suited with, as in which parent the child favors. If the child is anti-daddy then he/she belongs with the mother. Good luck to you.
2007-03-17 13:51:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
They don't determine custody by money, but if your able to care for the child addequitly. If you have raised the child its whole life then you have a good possiblity of keeping it. Plus if your mother or a friend heard him say that he wanted you to abort the baby then they can testify against him with that.
Good luck
2007-03-17 13:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by Brittney U 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whoever seems to be the most fit parent usually gets sole custody but you should really try to come to some agreement to divide time equally. Is he going to be taking care of the children or is his mother going to do all the work. Is he going to be up all night when they're sick? Judges do lean toward the mother in most of these cases, unless she has proven herself to be unfit. Try to get a good lawyer or try to come to an agreement with the hubby.
2007-03-17 13:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sole custody is a very rare thing. How much you make is not an issue. The welfare of the baby is. As long as you are taking very good care of the baby and he/she is thriving he can't get sole custody. He is just being a jacka**. Hit him where it hurts, in his pocketbook. God, I hate men. Geez. I wish you luck girl. Don't worry, you do not have to be wealthy to have a child and don't let him get you all upset. Just stay calm, take care of the baby and get a lawer.
2007-03-17 13:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋