my friend grw up in a house where for 7 years straight she has seen her father abusing her mom..now she's in college but never talked to anybody about the issue. She's afraid of guys and love and thinks that the same thing will happen to her like it happened to her mom. How can I help her? She does not want to seek help from doctor. PLEASE GIVE ME Some good advice so I can help her. She's like a sister to me
2007-03-17 13:14:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i was abused physically and sexually for more than 13 years. if she really wants to, she will get out of this. regarding her mother, she needs to know that she IS NOT her mom. that she is able to make her own choices. that she is obviously capable of making the right ones because she is already on her way to a great life. she needs to know and tell herself that what happened to her, was not her choice. that no matter how bad of a kid she had been, she did not deserve to be hurt. she needs to know that her mother's choices are not her own. that her mother did things that suited her life. your friend should not feel responsible for that.
she is not that off when it comes to distrusting men. but, she should not judge all men based on some guy that was not even in her generation. she should not force herself into dating if she is not ready. she should get to be around guys who are great individuals which will help her to see that not everyone is like that.
i made sure that i clearly set boundaries such as not even thinking about putting a hand on me. i believe that women should never allow that first hit. if a guy shows the signs, he has to go. if she really, wants to live her life, on her terms, she needs to start living it now telling herself that she is worth every bit of success and happiness in existence.
however, she must understand that sitting down and talking to someone is the best advice you or anyone can give her. there is nothing wrong with that. it does not say that she is crazy it says that she is taking control of her life.
good luck to both of you
2007-03-17 13:45:37 · answer #1 · answered by la21unica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mum was abused by her father up until the day he died, which was roughly 25 yrs. I have seen what it has done to my mum,my parents actually seperated because of all the issues she is now facing at this age because of her father mentally and physically abusing her. Please make your friend get help or she will live with the burden for the rest of her life and it will affect her life in every aspect....trust me.
2007-03-17 13:27:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Colleges normally have a counseling service for students. Help her to find out how to contact them. She should try and do regular appointments to help her process the feelings that she has.
If you're trying to help her yourself, you might want to check out the website below. There is also a great book there called Heal the Hurts That Sabotage Your Life, if you think she'd be interested.
2007-03-17 13:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are already helping her by being her friend. Be there for her. Listen to her. Be a shoulder for her to cry on. If you can, try to encourage her to go out and mix with other people. Show her by good role modeling how to live and get along with other people.
2007-03-17 13:32:49 · answer #4 · answered by Pixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it somewhat is very egocentric! I on no account had a grandmother like yours nevertheless she's your granny. whether, I nevertheless had that can assist you purely a splash. wish this would assist you. For the recommend time, pass away that abode for few days to one week. permit's see how she ought to stay her life on my own devoid of disturbances she theory you have been. If she dies, that's her fault! you're only doing what's suitable. or only carry her to the closest adoption residences for senior electorate. In that way, you would be residing in peace. And your uncle? clarify to him why you're doing this. She's impolite! no person will ever had to stay along with her! perhaps different than God. Duh! I great hate grandparents like yours. >.< and that i'm able to experience your unhappiness with this occasion. If I have been only beside you, i could fairly assist you in my view than commenting right here. :)
2016-10-01 02:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing to do. If she doesn't want to talk about it don't maker her. The same thing happened to a friend of mine. She'll talk when she's ready though. Don't try to make her talk because that might make you lose a friend.
2007-03-17 13:19:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of patience and understanding on your part and she may eventually open up to you, only way....she is the only one that can really help her
2007-03-17 13:21:09 · answer #7 · answered by sadistic_bondagelover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋