Why won't my boyfriend make love to me?

Question

I am 24yrs old and my boyfriend is 34. We have been going out for 1 year and 5 months, and living together for 8 months. I would say around 9 months ago the sex basically stopped. Whenever I try to seduce him, he more or less gets annoyed and does not want to. I do not think I am ugly or unsexy, but he sure makes me feel that way. In the beginning of our relationship I could not get him off of me. I talk to him about our problem, and he has NO answer to it. He understands that he never wants to have sex, but can't give me a reason. What is wrong??

Answer 1

i was in a similar situation except the age difference was 20 years. My (now ex) b/f lost his drive after 2 years. He blamed it partly on a busy work schedule but it is definitely more than that. I believe a man who is 100% devoted to you will not settle for 'i don't know' as an answer. I stuck it out for two more years hoping things would change but after many many talks and no change it finally it wore down my self-esteem and i plucked up the courage to leave.
Seeing a councellor would help because your situation is obviously different to mine. Eventually I saw that even though he loved me, it was more of a friendship kind of love. Also, as he was older and making more $ than me, he basically took care of me financially. For some relationships that can work, but for us, it shifted the dynamics, the power so to speak. It ceased to be a rel of equals and more on a par of father/daughter and he was always the decision maker for everything. I think even subtle things like that affect people's perception of how they see you. Being younger meant that i was more inexperienced in life (which is natural) but as mature as i was i would never measure up. Things like that also effect how attractive you appear to someone.

Well I have no answers for you except to dig deep and ask yourself what is really going on- and if all else fails see a councellor. You shouldn't be dealing with this on your own because it will eat away at your selfesteem. If he truly loves you he will not want you to be unhappy and he will do whatever it takes to change that. If he doesn't, he may not be the right person for you. Listen to a person's actions, not words and you will know everything you need to know. I wish you the very best.

Answer 2

my boyfriend gave me this, it's quite useful. It may help. Guy Facts: When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you... When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes, he means it When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world When a guy calls/texts/comments/messages you everyday, he is in love(really) When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till your done When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else and he is going crazy without you

Answer 3

Out of all the answers you have gotten so far the only one I can think of to add is just keep trying to talk to him and tell him no matter what it is and no matter if he thinks it will hurt you he need to talk and tell him the more he doesn't talk the more that problem is hurting you. And neither one of you needs to be hurting and maybe finally he will open up. But until he does do not go and be depressing yourself or telling yourself there is something wrong with you, because nothing is. Just have faith and things will turn around even if its not what you want to here from him. I will continue to pray and ask others to pray for you as well.
God Bless!!!

Answer 4

Since he's aware that his sex drive is missing, maybe he'd be willing to go to the Dr. and be checked out. There are many things that can cause his problem, many of them correctible.

If he's not willing, suggest counseling, and if he won't go, go by yourself. You shouldn''t be made to feel ugly or unsexy.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like he is unhappy in the relationship. Unhappiness can turn you away from sex even a man...yes i know.....men are usually the sex craved animals but in the situation it isnt. LOL.......well, just ask him if there are fantasies he wants fullfilled or somethign to that nature. THat could be what it is. GOOD LUCK! and if all else fails, go to a physycharaist. They can help you out a good bit.

Answer 6

It sounds like he has either lost interest or has a physical problem. This is a situation where you really need to talk to him and get to the bottom of this. If he has lost interest, he needs to end the relationship, and if it's physical, he needs to see a doctor.

Answer 7

MOve on
it could be that he is seeing someone else
or maybe he cant get it up
either way, he does not trust you enough to tell you
why continue in a relationship with someone who wont confide in you?
RUN

Answer 8

maybe, like he's having problems downstairs? his sex drive would be slowing up at that age, but he should still want 2 do it if its been so long.... ur alot younger than him, maybe u should find someone else... he could be cheating on u (but thats a longshot)

Answer 9

there are a few thing that could be wrong, maybe he might have STD's but is shy about it, and doesnt wanna tell you, maybe hes cheating on you,,,hopefully not...maybe its the age dfference he feels uncomfortable

im not sure

but hope that helps, good luck

Answer 10

i don't mean to me insensitive or anything but i think he's trying to give you a hint. sex is kinda a key part of a relationship so unless things start progressing hun its kinda over.