Are these good punishments for my sons?

Question

I am a single mom because my husband left me after my second son was born. I try to be the best mother i can but i am failing some how. My sons who are now 14 and 17 stay out late. My 17 year old smokes and drinks all the time. They dont care at all about me and how much work i am putting in to support my family. I then was searching though the web to get help and i came to this site
http://www.petticoated.com/pdmonthly02.htm

It is all about how you can discilpline boys by putting them in girl clothe or diapers. They have so many letters about mom's who have done that and their kids have turned out much better. Do you think i should resert to this because i am about to loose it.

Answer 1

It's "lose" (not loose) and don't lose it...you need to keep it together for them. However, I don't think humiliation is the answer here. The 17 yr old is nearly a legal adult. I think you need to get the authorities involved and let them take him for a while. Maybe a few months in detention, unable to go and do as he pleases, would be a good wake up call.

Why are they allowed to stay out late? If they aren't home when they are supposed to, then get the cops after them. Have punishments for every rule they break.

They are behaving as they are, because they've been allowed to get away with it. I know being a single parent is tough and you can't be there 24/7 because you're having to support your family. If you can't get them to be home on time, or prevent smoking and drinking, then what makes you think you'd have the ability to make them wear diapers or girls clothes?

You need help with them sweetie...please get it...for your own sanity and for their well being...they are going to have a really RUDE awakening when they leave home otherwise.

Answer 2

I'm not sure if your 17 year old is driving, but I'd suggest removing car priveledges if so. Disable the car if needed, get a friend to remove the battery and take it somewhere else.

Prepare a costume of hair net with rollers attached, awful bathrobe, bunny or wild sleepers. Place it on your door, and wear it to escort them into school if they're late. Walk into the school, then tell the attendance lady, "My son is late because he slept in."

If grades are dropping, remove every electrical device from them, including cell phones, IPOD, etc. Give them a wind-up clock. Put everything at another location. The best collection time is while they're sleeping. Keep the items away until the next report card or progress report shows improvement.

Give them firm rules with consequences clearly explained. Get help from an uncle, grandpa, or other if needed.

Ben there, done that. Once is all it takes.

Answer 3

Ok this situation has gone way out of your hands- putting your boys in ridicules will not do the trick- anyways I don't even think you will be able to put them in these clothes- so look for help some where else- get counseling or something- because really your kids at their stage in life already know that you are not in charge-
Sorry I had to say this but its the truth and the truth always hurts. So get some help NOW!!!
Luck to you my friend !

Answer 4

Call the "Nanny" to make em come and sit in the naughty corner. All kidding aside, I would try and get them interested in church. Do things as a family together. Find out why they absolutely have to stay out late. Drugs maybe? They may want a father figure in their life. Maybe they resent not having a dad at home.
It might help to go and see a counselor with them.
Try getting more involved with things they really like to do. Fishing,sports,etc. I think there are many more options out there to consider.
Good Luck to you and your sons.

Answer 5

Definately not!! Humiliation will only result in them resenting you.
Also give up the guilt trip, it is your responsibility to work and support them. They need your unconditional love and some attention and time spent with them doing activities they enjoy.
You need to work on your boundaries and learn how to love these boys in a way they can receive it, and then they will respond better to you. Try the book, the Five Love Languages.
Getting them involved in sports or hobbies will help occupy their time and hopefully meet with a better crowd to influence them, does a local church have a youth group that they might enjoy??

Answer 6

Are you insane? You all need counseling first of all and then you need to become the mother of the family. You make the rules you stick to them or tell them to stay out of your home, tough love is better than some weird sick way of punishment. This is not normal what you are considering and I think it would affect their lives forever not to mention make them hate your guts for the rest of your life. get help from sources other than the internet, call a therapist or the police.

Answer 7

First of all these kids live in a world that convinces kids their parents don't give a rip about them. What is your solution to this?

Second, those parental consequences are messed up...it's some sort of witchery tactics and definately something that isn't biblical. Where is thier father? What does he do about these quickly approaching young men disrespecting their mother and trying to rule the roost?

Answer 8

one of the best methods (it is used in many behavior therapies and in tough classrooms) is to never punish (what you suggest will NEVER work) and to reward good behavior. ignore the awful things your boys are doing. they want to get you to react and get upset. it might be hard to do, but let them take the fall and take responsibility for their actions. if your son comes home past curfew, make it to where he cannot come inside. that is not punishment, that is a consequence for an action. then, for any, and I mean ANY type of positive doing by your sons, give them verbal praise, a hug, or a privilege (never money, food, or gifts). you will be surprised at how this works, but I won't lie, it is really tough work at first, then it becomes second nature. good luck

Answer 9

honestly, do you really think that they're going to put on girl's clothing? It will make them rebel even more. It's time to get strict. Enforce some rules and if they break it, kick them out. It's the only way they'll learn.

Answer 10

Im a mother too and I understand how you must feel. Boys are tough to raise. I think we are jus not tough enough with our children. I read a book called "tough love" many years ago. IF you can find it read it. Hope this helps you.