I'm really confused about what to do!?

Question

I was with this guy who made a lot of bad choices and often dragged me into the consequences. In order to help myself I broke up with him. At first it didn't seem like he cared but, I soon figured out he was as torn apart as I was. My dad doesn't want me to have anything to do with him and wants him completely erased from my life. I'm still in love with him and can't help wanting him back. I know that staying away is what's best for me but, it's not exactly what will keep me happy. I wish he could just fix his life and everything would be ok but, he doesn't know what to do. I don't really know what to do, all these other guys are trying to be with me now that he's gone but my heart still lyes with him. I know if I tried to go back my dad would never allow it and would do everything it takes to keep me away. How can I make the pain go away? I've tried talking to them both and things for the moment are fine all except how I feel. Thanks

Answer 1

The right thing to do, and the difficult thing to do are often the same thing.

Sure, it would be easy to get back together with this guy if he magically "fixed his life". But realistically, is that going to happen? Or are you just going to go back there and wait until it happens? (or worse, never happens).

Maybe you've loved before, maybe not, but I'll tell you this: You CAN love again.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You have my sympathies. I know you're hurting, and he's hurting, and Dad's hurting for you--believe it or not. All parents want to see their kids truly happy.

But this isn't about Dad, is it? ;)

I think the key to your whole problem is solved by reading the very first sentence you've written here. He dragged you into the consequences of his bad decisions.

Honey, a person who truly loves you will not let you be dragged into anything. Love is unselfish, love is patient and kind. He isn't being kind to you by making you suffer with him. He loves himself. He wants to do whatever HE wants, without any regard to what will happen to himself or anyone around him. Otherwise, he'd consider his actions and their consequences much, much more carefully than he does.

It's going to take time to get over this. Love isn't like a light switch that can be turned off and on. It isn't wrong to care about him, but please don't let yourself get involved with him again. Let yourself heal from this relationship before you get involved with anyone else. Give yourself time to BE yourself, once you're sure who it is you are.

It's okay not to have some guy around. Oh, it's flattering to have someone calling all the time and giving us little gifts and taking us to the movies and stuff... but ... true love is definitely worth waiting for and it is SO much more than these little things. And, please, listen to your parents in these matters. They have tons of experience where people are concerned, and they can spot someone who isn't going to be good to you a mile away.

If you are ever.... EVER... in a relationship where you are suffering abuse, whether it's physical or mental or just as you said here... getting "bashed" by the consequences of someone else's poor choices... don't stay in the relationship. It isn't worth it. A man who truly loves a woman will do everything he can to protect her from trouble.. not get her into it with him.

Okay?

I do wish you all the best and I sincerely hope your Prince Charming shows up very soon and is good to you for the rest of your lives. Best of luck.

Answer 3

You are on the pathway that most end up treading. You are smart enough to see the truth of the situation, and you acted on that. Now you should honor that decision, and back yourself up on that. Otherwise, it will create exactly what is going on. Don't let YOURSELF down here. This guy is responsible for your decision and you know it. When you accept that you made the initial decision due to real circumstances; you will realise that the wise thing to do is to move on.
If you value your own opinion, then move on.

Answer 4

what is important is you so i think it is too important to make the choice you wanted , no one could help you except yourself,so do whatever you think is correct,if you love him,do something that attracts his attention to you!
and remember human just live once in this world ,so they have to use it greatly and on their wants.
be successful

Answer 5

You don't "make the pain go away", you live with it, experience it, accept it, and then live with the memory. You said yourself, you know your doing the 'right thing".

Answer 6

find him help. do w/e u can for him.
and dads never want their girls dating bad boys. reminds them too much of themselves as teenagers lol dont worry about ur dad
thats wut sneaking is for

Answer 7

i feel your pain :)