This guy that i've been talkin' to wants to hook-up. He's 20 and non-military. He's asked me to be his girlfriend twice already and I turned him down because with me being in the Army it puts a strain on the relationship. I really, really like him but I don't know what to do because of my situation. I'm schedualed to leave 4 Germany in 3 months for 4 months and I don't want to get serious when I know that i'm leaving. So my question is...are my actions justifing my reasons...or should I take a risk and let him in even though I know what the consequences may be?!?!?
2007-03-17 09:12:06 · 8 answers · asked by sheeshee4christ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What does your heart tell you about wanting to be in a relationship with him? If you like him and are leaning towards wanting a relationship then you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him.
First the two of you will need to discuss the feelings you have for each other (I mean have the two of you even gone out a few times and both of you are talking about being in a relationship). Are the two of you in the "good friends" stage or really feel that you can be in a relationship. One option is to be "good friends" while you are separated and see how the two of you feel for each other when you return.
If you feel like the two of you are in "relationship mode" now, you two will need to discuss the pitfalls of a long-distance relationship and set ground rules. Will each of you have the ability to see other people while separated? Do the two of you think you can remain monogamous while separated? These are important issues to address because the pressures in a long-distance relationship are great.
Since you are not leaving for 3 months, you can date the guy during this time and reassess the relationship before you leave and address the above issues and decide whether you would want to continue after you ship overseas.
Good Luck
2007-03-17 09:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by LewAR26502 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart. You being in the military, and him not could put a lot of strain on your relationship. Once you are gone, the only contact you will have with him will be through letters and possibly via internet. It would be very hard to establish a stable relationship in just three months.. YOu also need to look at what it is you two are looking at in a relationship.. Like how much time you want to spend with them. How much security will be there when you leave etc? A far as would you be able to trust each other? Maybe you could stay friends for now and when you come back, give the relationship a try if your friendship is strong. God's will will be done. Remember that. God Bless you!
2007-03-17 09:22:59 · answer #2 · answered by sarah a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would go for it, you still have three months here, and if everything goes smoothly for three months then the relationship will weather the 4 months away and everything will work out fine. However, your last statement of "I know what the consequences will be" is not a good way to start out a relationship. Be optimistic it's a much more happy outlook on life!
2007-03-17 09:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by jostfa18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel strongly about what the consequences will be, then just keep it as friends right now and tell him to just wait and see if your friendship can last while you are apart. And may I say to you, "Thank You" I am one of millions of people that are grateful for what you are doing for our country. God bless you and keep you safe.
2007-03-17 09:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the risk. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't. But then, you will feel that guilt of never even trying, won't you? At least try it, and if it does work, you may have just found your next soulmate. But nothing will happen at all if you don't try, will it?
2007-03-17 09:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly think that if hes okay with being with you while your in germany and u like him then go for it...im sure u could always use a little more support while your there..jst try it out, the worst that could happen is that ur unhappy with it and u break of off,otherwise ull spend ur whole time in germany wondering "what if "
2007-03-17 09:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by serialshopper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right. Save yourself some drama. You'll meet many people when you're on duty. Good luck!!!
2007-03-17 09:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by LT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what your heart tells you to do........
2007-03-17 09:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by ................... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋