What do you think this is??

Question

I have been dating my bf for about 4 months now. I told him that I wanted to wait till marriage until I have sex. For some reason I just don't understand but everytime we get intimate with one another, he always brings it up. He always implies that we should "make love." I constently have to remind him about my commitment. He says that he respect's my commitment. But why does he always ask still? Is this a test, meaing that he maybe wants to see how far I can go?? I love him alot, and I know he feels the same, but do u think this will effect out relationship? By the way he's not a virgin, could that be apart of this situation?

Answer 1

Don't let any of these people tell you that men "can't control themselves" or that sex is like a mind-controlling drug. If that were true, rape would not be a crime. Men can control their actions and their sex drive is not that much stronger than ours, given the right psychology.

Anyway, I agree that it seems he doesn't feel as you do, since he seems to have two conflicting ideas in his head -- one that he respects your decision and the other, that he ... well, he doesn't; he believes you lack integrity or are easily manipulated, or both, or he at least hopes that's true. I think you're right to worry that the promises of respect are lip service, and the persuasion when you're kissing is honesty.

The only way you keep this from affecting your relationship is to not give in -- and never give the impression that you might. If you must, tell him that you feel he is trying to undermine you and that it's disrespectful when he pressures you. Say: what if you had resolved not to do something because you thought it was best for you, and I pushed you to do it anyway? Wouldn't you wonder if I cared? I mean, put it in his face, make him see what it means to you. If he can't handle it and learn something, he's not the one.

Answer 2

I say stick with your morals. Do NOT give in to him. Whether he actually wants to have sex or not, it will be bugging him to no end. That's how a guy's brain works. Him not being a virgin just means that he may have been expecting you to put out when he got into the relationship. But if it for some reason comes down to deciding, choose your beliefs over him. he's just a guy, and there are others that also want to wait until marriage. Anyone who tells you no such guy exists is lieing, and send them my way.

Answer 3

He thinks he can convince you to give in and sleep with him. I am not so sure he feels the same way about you as you do about him. If he did he would respect your decision and not test you. I would be very careful when with him. He could be trying to wear you down. A lot of males think of a female virgin as someone that just gotta have so he could be hanging in there and saying and doing things to make you feel he is in love with you just to get you in the bed. Just be strong and hold to your commitment do not let him get to you. If he really feels the same way about you he will give it a break and let your 1st no be no.

Answer 4

Absolutely, sex is like a narcotic; the more you have it the more you want. Once a man has sex, it's like taking a addictive drug, he will always want it 24/7. Some men can control this urge however, but if you are getting hot and heavy with your boyfriend, he has sex on the mind. He wants to have sex with you!

If you are a virgin, good for you !!! Virgin women are very rare nowadays and the fact that you are saving yourself for your husband is the ultimate gift that your husband could ever receive from you.

You have only dated your boyfriend for four months, is he going to be your husband? Are you sure??? I hope your boyfriend is not looking to put a notch on his belt by having sex with you. Be cautious of his intentions. If he keeps bugging you, maybe you should rethink your relationship with him or stop the intimate moments in order to stop his pleading. If he really cares for you, he needs to control his urges and truly respect you. If he constantly pursues this, I would look for someone who can really respect you and your commitment.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

you're really smart for waiting till you get married, tons of girls, get into relations thinking this guy would be the one , they have sex with the guy and in the end , the guy leaves them after he uses them.And the girl feels emotionally used. If he wants to have sex and you keep telling him , see how long he stays around for. Some guys will respect you and wait ,others will use you and when they are done and bored of you, they move on to the next girl. If your relation ends because he cant have sex with you , then that's what he wanted from you , sex. If he cant have sex , he's going to someone else. Dont stoop low to his level and give in , you guys dated 4 months now? how long will it last?

Answer 6

Maybe he feels that every time you get intimate with each other you are in a sense saying you are ready. If you want to wait till marriage your might be sending him mixed messages then. Talk it out more.

Answer 7

Perhaps he goes by the credo: "There's no harm in trying." Or the one that says: "Try and try until you succeed." Or: "If there's a will, there's a way."

Being "intimate" with him doesn't help the bloke, either. You're just testing him to the limit. What's a poor man to do?

Answer 8

if he really loves you, he'll respect your wishes. but if you are getting intimate, his reaction is natural-he wants to have an orgasm. if you want to save yourself for marriage, stop putting yourself in heated passionate danger.

Answer 9

he just can't help himself, thats it, he'll go find sex out there, yea even if he loves till death, but what you believe is the right thing.. don't give up...

Answer 10

Sounds like he wants to test you. He wants you to feel bad and give in. And for God's sake, DON"T!!!!!!!!!! God Bless and Be Safe :)