She wants to car date- She wants her Belly Button Peirced.
She wants her Boyfriend to Spend the Night - How Easy should I be to get along with - As far as Letting her do these things?
2007-03-17 08:45:53 · 14 answers · asked by lee 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have a 14 year old daughter. She is not interested in the things you described, but here are my anwers:
Car date - NO
Belly Button Piercing - maybe - these take a really long time to heal, and are prone to infection. If after doing the proper research she still wants one, I would reluctantly grant permission.
Boyfriend spend the night - NO WAY!
Clearly, sex is on her mind, and she needs to be educated about the physical and emotional consequences of sex. She needs to be offered birth control, because she clearly intends to have sex with or without parental approval. But a responsible parent, even one who provides birth control to a teen, does not have to make it easy for the teen to have sex by allowing the boyfriend to spend the night.
As the parent, you need to BE THE PARENT. You do your child no favors by trying to be her friend. She has friends. She NEEDS you to provide parental love and guidance, even if it seems like she doesn't like it. In fact, if she doesn't like it, you are probably doing something right!
2007-03-17 09:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by not yet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think too many parents now a days try to be their children's friend in place of being the child's parent. You have to figure out where to draw the line, then stick with your decisions. No one can tell you what you should allow your child to do - it's different for everyone.
Personally, there is no way any of my children will ever have a boyfriend/girlfriend spend the night - I also think 14 is too young to car date. But a belly button piercing - I'd be o.k. with that.
2007-03-17 16:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by Zabes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think she has to be at least 16 to get belly button pierced, and that's with parental consent. I might be a little old fashioned, but boyfriend spending the night would be unwise. It would be putting them in a situation where it would be easy for them to let things 'get out of control.' Car dating. Well, obviously the boy would have to be at least 16 to drive her somewhere and it's up to you to decide if that is too old for her or not. I was 16 before I could go out on dates, but my mom was 14. It depends on her AND his maturity. As hokey as it may sound, group dating seems to be more preferable to me until she's a little older AND shows she can be responsible. Make her bring a cell phone, know exactly where she's going and she shouldn't go anywhere else before calling you to get approval. She should have a time that she needs to be home, as well. Children/teens have to 'earn' trust from you. It's not something that is just given. When they show they can handle things like an adult, you can start treating them like an adult.
2007-03-17 16:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by mom-of-4 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What's car date??? It doesn't sound like something that's good though. About the belly button thing...I'd tell her to wait until she's at least 16. About the boyfriend to spend the night...NO WAY!
I'm 14 as well.
2007-03-17 20:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by em<3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
car date - as long as you can tag along
belly pierced - 18 years old not flattering in work force
boyfriend spend night- never but her husband can
Always keep communication open even when you don't agree.Tough issues like sex, drugs tell her the truth. Always keep a watchful eye on children too much freedom they get into trouble but don't be overprotective either keep it balanced. Let them learn by doing but you have final say.
2007-03-17 16:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well alright...I'm 23. My parents didn't let me date or wear makeup until I was 14. My boyfriend could not pick me up (he's 2 years older) There definitely was no spending the night. I would wait until she's grown for that. The belly button thing, I got mine done at 21. My sister was 16 when she got hers done and 17 when she got her first tattoo. I was 19 when I got my first one. I hope that helps.
2007-03-17 15:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha D 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i never thought about things like that when i was that age! EVER! my mom would have spanked the living daylights out of me if i had, but i choose when my daughter gets around that age, she wont date until she is 17 and she wont get her belly button peirced until she is out of my house, her boyfriend wont spend the night untl he is her husband...there is no tellin a parent what she should do with her kids, so i wont, but i just say what i plan for my baby...hope you make the right choices, because the wrong one can last a life time!
2007-03-17 17:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by i will be your friend! 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Believe it or not, your 14 year old daughter wants boundaries . Just because she tells you she wants certain things doesn't necessarily mean she really needs them. What is important to her at this point in her life is an adult who will guide her, be there to talk to her and help her make wise choices. If you give in to her every need how will she ever learn what a good choice is? You are her role model even if she tells you this isn't so.
2007-03-17 17:08:08 · answer #8 · answered by llselva4 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My son is the same age he is allowed to go to the mall after school with his gf and will visit her house....supervised for dinner or watch a movie with her and her family.....this works because if the boys intentions are anything other then innocent he wont want to spend time with her family...planing group "dates with other friends is also good...specific time limits and public places only.....
As far a car dating ..... NO!!!!!.....maybe allow a escorted night to the local movie theatre.... you go see what you want let them see what they want......
Let him spend the night but not in her bedroom.... that way they get time together that they want with out opening the door to ....well you know .....there is little harm if they fall asleep together on the living room sofa after chatting and watching movies ...
As far as the bellybutton ring ....the fact that your daughter is trying to be open and communicate with you is to be celebrated ....getting her piercing done is a must .....if she doesn't like it in the future it can always be removed with ease....maybe mom would like her belly button done to.... this is a great bonding experience I have a friend whose mom did this with her and she will never forget... they went for lunch got their hair done pierced their bellies ...really made a day of it. even if getting yours done does not sound like your thing make a day out of it anyway....this is a big thing you will show her you are listening and not always "against" her like most 14 year old believe.
Best of luck !
2007-03-17 17:35:54 · answer #9 · answered by allidsaregone 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
" she" wants a lot doesnt she!!!! just as well you're the adult with the power to say no.its your house, she's a minor, you're not happy so you say no. she's lucky you dont object to the boyfriend!!i suspect this is a tongue-in -cheek question..... its either that or you're a pushover. whats car date???? she has a boyfriend no need for dating cars....my teenager often tells my i dont undrstand(they all think we were angels at their age). i just laugh. we all have to set boundaries for our children and you have to decide what you find acceptable and what you dont. stick to what you believe to be right only compromise if you're not completely against something... say the piercing for example.... better than car dating? no one has the right to tell you whats right/wrong for your daughter but dont let her walk all over you, you'll only live to regret it.good luck xx
2007-03-17 18:53:34 · answer #10 · answered by kazzy3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋