Please help me check the beginning of this essay about the global water crisis?

Question

For credibility as well as how it sounds.
Every year aquifers across the United States become more and more dried up or polluted. 36 states have even said that in the next ten years they will run out of water or run critically low. One example of this is in the Texan High Plains. The farmers are pumping groundwater faster then rainwater can replenish it, and the water tables are dropping faster than ever as more and more is required for plants. And the U.S.’ Ogallala aquifer, the largest one in the country, is being depleted at a rate of 12 billion cubic meters a year. The total amount it has lost so far is about equal to the annual flow of 18 Colorado Rivers. Many farmers in the High Plains are now turning away from irrigated agriculture as they become aware of the hazards of pumping too much and realize water is not in endless supply.
Speaking of the Colorado River, the sinking levels of the Colorado River and its salinity, or saltiness, are already causing tensions between the United States and Mexico.
This is not just in the U.S. Along with its scarcity, drinking water in many developing countries may be contaminated, causing disease and even death. Sudan, Zimbabwe and Syria are among the most affected. Approximately 4,000 children worldwide die every day of diarrhea.
Not having enough pure drinking water causes a chain reaction, sometimes starting regional conflicts. For example, Iran, Iraq and Syria believe and have valid claims to the water in the Tigris-Euphrates river system. But because there is not enough water to meet these demands, their claims must be reduced.

The report is one my 6th grade daughter wrote.

Answer 1

Your essay reads well and is carefully written. I do have some suggestions:

1. The title indicates you are going to write about the global water crisis so prior to using examples from the United States you should offer the reader some material that shows the water crisis is indeed a global problem. Then you can use the United States as an example along with the Tigris and Euphrates rivers and any others you choose.

2. I would suggest that all statements that are not your own be referenced. In doing this more creditability can be given to your essay.

3. If you have not planned to do so I would try to work the global warming problem into your essay as one of the possible causes of the reduction in the global water supply. For example the fresh water supplies of small oceanic islands and many coastal areas would be severely damaged by even a small rise in sea level.

4. After you have discussed the global problem and used examples from the United States and other places in the world, you might consider offering some potential solutions to the problem
such as water conservation, re-use of waste water and storm water runoff, dual water supplies where one water system is for drinking, cooking and bathing while the other is for flushing toilets and other non-potable uses.

Congratulations on doing well with a very serious problem. I wish you good luck on your essay.

Answer 2

You should check the exact numbers on the Internet, but yeah, you got the picture. There is a global crisis of fresh water.
Turkey has built multiple dams on the Tigris and they can cut down the flow of the river to Syria and Iraq. They even threatened to do so. The Tigris is the main source of water for these 2 countries.

Answer 3

good report

leave out the words more and more try increasingly or something like that

make a global statement in first paragraph

leave out speaking of the Colorado river and make a river statement then use the Colorado as an example

not clear if there is a conflict over the Tigris

Answer 4

The essay was very well written. There's only a few changes I would make...

I would take out the "more and more" in both sentences.

Also, in the phrase, "The total amount it has lost so far is about equal to the annual flow of 18 Colorado Rivers" I would take out "about" .

When you say "Speaking of..." it sounds a little too informal.

Those are jsut little things I would change but it's very crditable and sounds great!

Answer 5

what's hysteria is the communicate surrounding international warming. be conscious that your guy or woman quote is, "there is not any clinical consensus on the motives or probable outcomes of world warming.” It does not say that there is no longer international warming. So in basic terms for a 2d, permit's throw the completed "international warming" question out the window. The proposals for lowering international warming (no remember if it is real or no longer) are to: cut back our use of polluting fuels, to maintain extra land and forests that are shielded from progression, to take the out of control and rampant strengthen in the human species heavily and what outcomes it extremely is having on our organic environment. no remember in case you have self assurance in international warming or no longer, the suggestions positioned forth are unassailable. Do you have self assurance we could consistently no longer do those issues? i'm no longer able to think of any questioning individual does not. So, if we advance our relationship with our environment, and international warming isn't a threat, we nevertheless income.

Answer 6

-----How good the report is, depends on who the report is written for, and what you were told to do. Were you told to use one of each of the seven kinds of footnotes covered in class? It looks good to me. The above Answers make good points. ---Jim