single mom words of encouragement please. Only totally single moms please?

Question

Do you ever feel like you can't do it and you will end failing horribly as you have done in the past befor you got pregnant. Do you ever feel so depressed that you just want to lay down and feel so gulity that you are not giving your child your all. IS it okay to feel sorry for yourself now and then, when you have NOONE that you can turn to for words of encouragment and get so sad when you realize that is just you and your baby and noone cares to take the time to check in on you all or offer to help. I really dont have anyone, after the baby my friends disappeared. Is it normal to feel like this sometimes


I just get like this time to time so please dont bash me as people on here like to do, I really dont need that righ now. My child is the best thing that has ever happen to me. I just want tips on how to get through it when it happens

Answer 1

Being a single mom is the hardest job in the world. I take my hat off to you and other single mothers who have the courage to make it through each day. It is perfectly natural to feel like you're failing, like you're totally on your own, and to feel depressed. Women with husbands find it difficult, so I understand that you are battling at the moment. Try and find a little time for yourself in the day-even if it's fifteen minutes doing something that YOU love to do, and don't feel guilty about it, you deserve a little 'me' time. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, believe me, I understand more than you'll ever know. You're welcome to email me at anytime if you need to talk.

Answer 2

I know how you feel and it gets better the older your child gets. You sound like you have a young one. Mine just made 6 months 1 1/2 weeks ago and it's a pleasure watching her grow! Yes it's okay for you to feel bad/guilty sometimes. Why, not? It's not going to kill you. But you don't need to be that way all the time. You have to learn to realize that it is just you and the baby. Once that sinks in for sure nothing can really effect you. Meaning the people that should be there... It won't hurt you that bad that they aren't there. Take it from me. Somebody that was engaged.... Got cheated on while 3 months pregnant. Who's finace got his boss's daughter pregnant and became a single mom in no less then a bad day! You will be okay and you will get through it. You said the right thing! Your child is the best thing that has happened to you. Realize that you are the best thing that ever happened to that child! Take care of yourself and take it one day at a time if you need to. You can IM if you want to chat.

~Proud Mom of a 6 month Old Baby Girl~

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. I'm a single mom with a 12 year old son. So many times, I just wanted to quit. I was so depressed, I just didn't want to live anymore. But I would never abandon my son. I know God wanted me to have a child. I was pregnant more than once, but I had to have this child. This is just a suggestion, but I would look into joining a church family. They won't judge you and they'll be there for you when you need them. You can make friends there. That's what happened to me. Believe me, I know what it feels like to feel totally alone. There are days even now, when I feel like I'm letting my son down. But don't give up. There is help out there. I know my son is the best thing that ever happened to me too. Maybe look for a local single moms support group. Take care of yourself and be proud of yourself that you are raising your baby and you are hanging in there. It's hard, but you can do it!

Answer 4

Oh Hon!!! It happens. Single momhood can be very daunting. It feels like you'll never have enough of anything to get through. It's perfectly normal to feel that way, and to feel sorry for yourself. The thing you have to work on is being more positive.
You have a wonderful baby and you need to show that baby the best you, you can be. Another thing is to find someone who can watch your baby for a couple hours a couple times a week so you can get out by yourself.
Join some parents groups in your area. Join a mom and me class. Parenting classes. These will all put you in contact with people dealing with the same thing, and give you a network to build from.
Hey, you can always contact me if you need to vent, yell, or just talk. [e-mail] I'm mom to 3 and I've been where you are many times.
You will do fine with this baby. You are a strong person, that shows by you taking on single motherhood. You will provide all your baby needs, and remember to give that baby plenty of love. Just hang in there, you aren't alone. You CAN do this.

Answer 5

Oh, honey, you are not alone. I understand exactly what you're talking about. I think most all of us do. I went through the depression, and then guilt for being depressed, and panic at how I was going to pull it together and survive... it's a hard hard road, and it's even harder when you don't have a support system.

I am not super-outgoing, and I struggled for several years before making friends with other moms. I would suggest to you to force yourself to CREATE a support circle. Make friends with other moms - people who won't get ticked because you can't go out, and who understand why you're fed up and feeling sorry for yourself sometimes. :) People who will encourage you and help you realize that what you're feeling is okay, and will pass.

If you live near a good park, that's a good start. Or a mommy'n'me class through the city, or even those little events they have at the local mall and at the library. Do a little research, you'll find cheap ways to meet people. It will be good for your little one and for you.

Peace & love.

Answer 6

I am not a single mother, but I have felt like this. My son was born while my husband was in Iraq and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I made it through. Find a support group. They exist and they are there to help you. Some counseling and maybe some meds for depression are also in order...consult your doc. What about your mother? Do you not have any support from your mom? I would probably write off the father at this point. And friendships change after baby is born. It's hard, sad and unfortunately, natural. At this point, find friendships with women who have babies...in our city we had marvelous mommy and baby groups. In fact, one of my best clients was a group of seven families...they came for pictures together a lot. It was really neat to see how they had become such great friends.

Rely on your relationships with your family. Without my mom I don't know what I would have done.

Answer 7

You obviously love your child...and that is all your baby needs. Expensive toys and clothes will mean nothing down the road. If you feel like you need some support, try local groups for single parents. Many churches offer them, and you will be welcome even if you aren't relgious. It will give you a place to vent and discuss your feelings with people who are going through a similar situation. Plus, more than likely you will make a friend or two that you can talk with when things get rough. I did it by myself...and its tough at times. If you ever need to talk, I would be more than happy to accept an e-mail from you (its on my profile). I understand how important it is to have someone understand what you are going through.

Answer 8

I am not a single mom, but I have felt like that. My mom is dead and husbands can be really insensitive to the loneliness of being a mom. You dont need to feel guilty I think every mother (whether they admit it or not) has felt that way. And friends always seem to dissappear after babies come, you just need to realize you are doing something very important, and you are a good mother, and we all feel very drained, it does get easier the older your kids get and they are not quite so dependant on you. I try to tell myself I am showing my children how to be a strong woman and not let life beet you down, and now you do have someone who will always be glad you are there, your baby. I hope you dont mind I answered, my heart just goes out to you.

Answer 9

well i was a single mother 2 times!!! I went through 2 pregnancy's and births all on my own...its normal and ok to feel this way, but you need to find someone to talk to...I had my mother and sister....just be the best mom you can be and your child will be greatful for that...we all feel like we can do better as a parent, but thts just a part of it...a good mother always feels she can do better for her child..and you do...you try everyday to become a better parent to your perfect little angel....im sure you'll do just fine
take it one day at a time and when you get depressed pick up the phone and call a support person...hug your baby,go for a walk, go for a drive...all those things helped me...even hire a baby sitter and go do something for yourself

Answer 10

I am a single mother of two beautiful boys, 7 years old & 4 months old. I have felt alone at times, and felt like I couldn't make it another day. In the end, I know I work my butt off to support my kids the very best I can. They don't need expensive toys & clothes. Your kids will respect you for making sure you provided a roof over their head, food on the table, and clothes on their back....that's what really matters.
Both of my parents are deceased, and my sisters live out of town. The only friends I have are women that I have known for years, and they have kids of their own. My childless friends have been long gone. I don't know what state you are in, but I know my local YMCA has family nights. It's a great way to meet other parents, and interact with your child outside of home. Also find a single parent support group, that's another great way to make friends with other single moms.

You are not alone, God is always with you. I always pray for God to give me stregnth to make it through each day.
Good luck & God Bless.