He's not a stalker per se, but he does drive me nuts! I'm in college and he waits for me at my train stop and walks me to class and then to the next and the next....He also has two classes with me and he hovers around my desk and talks to me during lectures. I've tried ignoring him and looking busy, but it doesn't work. He is almost twice my age and he knows I am married. How do I NICELY get him to leave me alone?
2007-03-17 07:24:57 · 13 answers · asked by Kewpie 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Get your Husband to escort you to class one day....If not then just tell the guy that you are not interested....If he persist, then I would go to your local Law Enforcement...I think he would get the hint then.
2007-03-17 07:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ted 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a woman so I'm speaking from experience when I say that sometimes women worry too much about being "nice." The man you've described sounds downright creepy, and his behavior does not deserve "nice."
Instead, I suggest you be very direct with this guy (think "businesslike" rather than "confrontational"). You can try approaching it as his choice to respect you -- as in, "I would prefer it if you do not talk to me anymore. Will you respect my wishes?"
* DO be calm and strong.
* DO stay focused on what you want (which is for him to leave you alone).
* DO NOT give him a detailed explanation about why.
* DO NOT get roped into a discussion.
Also, I do not think saying "this is what my husband wants" is a good idea. Stand up for what YOU want! You have the right to speak up for yourself when someone is treating you poorly.
Similarly, I would not mention the police (not at this point). You might have to later on, but for now, try to handle it yourself. Channel Linda Hamilton from the Terminator and let him know that you mean business!
Good luck!
2007-03-18 04:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Winnie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
walk faster. take different routes to classes. go in a little early so he doesn't see you get off the train. in class, ask him nicely to stop talking during lectures because you want to do well in the classes and run out of there right when class is over. you simply don't have time for him!
2007-03-17 15:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by really marine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Sounds like either a lonely old man or a pervert to be honest. You're not talking to him about home problems are you? If you are, then you need to let him know they got miraculously better and you've never been happier than you are now. I've had a similar problem and I've had to deliberatly alter my schedule until he got the hint. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I know you don't think he's a stalker, but he does have stalking tendencies so start keeping a diary. Good luck.
2007-03-17 18:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In a crowded area, quietly tell him that you are not interested in him, even as a friend, and that you would like him to stop following you. Do not say your husband doesn't want you talking to him or that your husband doesn't like it. That could encourage him to try harder. Sort of challenge to get you. It doesn't matter what your husband wants or likes. It matters that you don't want him around. Make sure he knows that. If he then continues, one final time, ask him to stop or you will file a complaint against him. If he still continues, talk to security about him. Good luck
2007-03-17 14:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by J M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've already tried to give him the brush-off nicely, and he's obviously too dense to pick up on it. Maybe it's time to try a not-so-nice approach. The next time he approaches you tell him firmly, "I'm married and not interested in talking or dealing with you. Please leave me alone and stop following me around or I will have to notify campus police." And if he doesn't leave you alone then follow through on this threat. Good luck to you! :)
2007-03-17 14:36:39 · answer #6 · answered by Bookworm 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would tell a close friend that this is happening, get him/her to escort you somewhere when this guy is likely to be around. and if the stalker-type-person is about, turn and tell him that his constant attention is making you uncomfortable, you think of him as an acquaintance but that his waiting at the train & walking you to class, whilst appreciated, is not necessary, ask him to please give you some breathing space and respect your wishes. i think having a friend there may give moral support and make him know you are serious
good luck xx
2007-03-17 14:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by Angelic Julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your married and you are just fine walking to class by yourself. If that doesn't work tell him that you are quite creeped out by him lurking around you. If that doesn't work buy a taser or some pepper spray.
2007-03-17 16:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time he is following you, head to the local police dept. and file a complaint. He will be right there so they can see who it is. If you don't want to be so drastic, simply carry a can of "fart spray" and every time he gets near you or begins to talk, simply spray him with it. If he asks why you do it, tell him that he annoys you so are going to annoy him now.
Whats fair is fair !!
: )
2007-03-17 15:39:02 · answer #9 · answered by Kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him politely that he is making you uncomfortable, if that does not work, maybe have your husband walk you to class one day and let him tell the guy to back off.
2007-03-17 14:29:44 · answer #10 · answered by pepsiolic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋