Like many women, I tell my mom things that are going on in my life. My mother in law and my mother don't have a good relationship. They despise each other. My mother always asks if I've seen my mother in law and what's new with her. There is always some drama going on and my mother enjoys hearing it. Lately, when I tell her about what's going on (after she asks me)...she gets very annoyed and angry at her or the situation completely changing her mood. She even gets defensive and says things like...well I bought you this and that..what does she ever do? I know my mother hates her. My question is, should I stop telling her the drama so she doesn't get angry anymore?
2007-03-17 06:52:14 · 16 answers · asked by qtpie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh and by the way...there is no saving the relationship...they're never going to get along. That is certain.
2007-03-17 06:57:47 · update #1
I'd just tell your mom it is the "same old, same old" with the in-laws and keep her out of it. She is probably upset because she can't get that woman out of your life. Remember, if you have children, your MIL is around them and your mom probably sees her as a bad influence in your family.
2007-03-17 06:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as though you are thinking very clearly when you realize that telling your mother about your mother in law just seems to light a flame in your mom. Why not talk about other things! If it really is impossible for them to get along, and one is trying to make sure that the other does not outdo the other.............stay out of it. Some people enjoy having super dramas going on, all the time. Personally, I think it is a total waste of great energy. I would not be telling your mom things you know she will make into a 'drama'. Would it not be more fun to visit your mother while you are both happy? Maybe, you could just 'not know' anything new about the other person........then, direct the conversation to a happier note.
2007-03-17 07:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by laurel g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ma'am, as I'm not married I'm not too sure, but I would say your mom is having a hard time trying share you with a woman she despises, and you,unfortunately, are getting caught in the crossfire of this anger. The only reason why somebody would ever enquire about a person they despise is so that they can laugh and mock at them on the inside. I would suggest you tell her to stop acting the way she is doing now if she wants to know more about how your mother-in-law is doing, or stop telling her altogether. Your mother is a mature woman and she should get the message loud and clear, and you can also be tactful about it, so that there are no hard feelings about it.
2007-03-17 07:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes stop telling your mom anything pertaining to your mother-in-law.Why create more hassles for yourself?
If she asks about her just tell her she's fine and change the subject abruptly.She has no need to know about her at all and why would you want to tell her anyway?
Sounds as though your mom is jealous of her. She has no right to get angry over her as it is no concern of hers.I'm sure your husband would be quite annoyed if he knew what was going on as I certainly would be.
Maybe you should take stock of what you tell your mother.Your personal life is your own and she need not know everything that goes on with you.
Gossip will never get you anywhere.
2007-03-17 07:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! You don't want your mom involved in everything that's going on. You can tell her certain things but other things are best kept to yourself. Most likely your mother's feelings might grow with more despise towards your mother in law if she knows a lot of information about her.
2007-03-17 06:57:14 · answer #5 · answered by janitza421 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers her that much. Yes. Does ,it hurt you to tell her theese things?
Maybe you should ask ,your mother, why she dislikes, your mother in law. maybe they had a falling out over the years.
Then ask your M-I-L. the same question, but don't let her know.
You spoke with your mother about it. And see what she says. Then put it together, and see if you can find a solution.
2007-03-17 06:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you havent seen her. She sounds jealous and competitive about her. The problem here is she is obsessed about her. So yes its best not to talk about the woman at all. If your mother questions you on why just tell her because it is not a healthy situation and you dont want to feed her obsession. She might not even realize it.
2007-03-17 07:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that's what I'd do.
If she asks, just tell her that you don't want her to get angry about it. Try to change the subject and don't talk about your mother in law.
2007-03-17 06:57:13 · answer #8 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop talking to your mother about your mother in law.. sounds to me like you mother is jealous of her.. has your mother ever got to really know your mother in law. your mother hates it that you have a relationship with her she is being selfish and jealous. take her to Dr Phil he will set her straight..
2007-03-17 07:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by raven1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it might be political to brush over things slightly so they cause less angst? Its a case of preserving the balance between them I feel!
2007-03-17 06:56:55 · answer #10 · answered by Tiffers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋