im really lost. its the first time my dad has ever hit me. we have been arguing about my bf for some time now.

Question

me and my dad get along really well. but he disapproves of my bf. today my bf called and wants me to come over for the weekend. wehn i asked my dad he got upset and told me he isnt lettin his daughter around a guy lik that. we were arguin bout that and then i told my dad that i love my boyfriend and then i told him he could go to hell for all i care. then he slapped me. MY DAD HAS NEVER HIT ME BESIDES LIK A SMACK ON THE BOTTOM WHEN I WAS YOUNG. i feel lik i hate him. but i dont want to cuz i love him so much. but i dont kno. im so shocked and mad that he hit me. i locked myself in my room and have been in here for lik 2 hrs. i kno this isnt really a question but i needed to talk bout it cuz im so angry and frustrated. i guess i can make it a question. Anybody have any thoughts or helpful input? im so close to jus leaving and not coming back.

im 17, my bf is 20. and my dad doesnt like him because me and my bf argue alot and sometimes his temper gets to bad...but i still love him. i feel lik slappin my dad back. he doesnt realize he didnt only hurt me physically. so much for bein daddys little girl.

Answer 1

Well, you have to see his side too! He probably has reasons why he doesn't like this guy...

And you know the way how he doesn't want you to do something and you still do it and go against whatever he says... don't expect him to do what you don't do, and don't try rubbing it in his face...

No, I'm not saying it's okay for him to hit you, but he probably felt disrespected and thought that was the right way to let you know that....

Right now you are angry, and you are not looking for the right way to let him know how you feel either, but in time, when you both are more calmed about it, you should try to make it right with your dad... because he is your dad, you live with him, and he will support you and protect you no matter what... even after your boyfriend is not your boyfriend anymore.

Answer 2

just like u this is also hard for your dad.It is not right for him to hit u for any reason.Leaving won't help either.I would make sure when your dad has cooled down that u sit n have a long talk with him.U might want to consider some counselling for u n him to help u both get through this.His little girl is no longer a little girl n that is a really hard thing for any parent n especially a man.He needs to see that this is normal behaviour for u n needs to learn how to deal with how he is feeling about u n your b/f.If this is the first time him hurting u then he is obviously scared bigtime n doesn't want u around him n needs to no that the more he tells u that the more u will turn to your b/f.U also need to respect your father no matter what.Even when your angry u walk away n go to your room n call someone or whatever it is u do when your upset.To find out more things that would help u both deal with this seek help from a professional it really does help with the parent n understanding cuz parents won't listen to there kids but they will another adult.Good luck n hang in there.Your dad truly loves u n want the best for u.Express to the fullest about him hitting u n how much that hurt u.Tell him how u feel but in a respectful n calm way n wait til he is cool.Bye 4 now n if u need to chat u can get me on here.

Answer 3

First off, calm down and take some deep breaths. Punch your pillow, cry-do whatever you need to do to let out all of that anger and calm yourself down.
Now, your Dad slapped you because you showed him disrespect by telling him that he could go to hell.
Obviously your Dad doesn't like something about your boyfriend and doesn't want that kind of an influence on you. When you calm down you should apologize to your Dad and ask him what he dislikes about your boyfriend. See if maybe you can do something to fix the situation. Don't run away, you don't want to do that. Not only can you get into trouble with the law but imagine how your Dad would feel. Plus, imagine going to court and the judge asks you to explain the situation and you tell him that you ran away because your Dad disapproves of your boyfriend. The judge can't really do anything about that matter and then you'd be back at home-still arguing with your Dad. So try and fix the situation.
Don't run away-you can never truly run away from your problems because they will ALWAYS find a way to catch up with you-believe it or not.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It all depends on how old you are. If you're in your teens, then I would just say relax. It is normal for parents to be over-protective of their kids and more so if you're a girl coz every day parents have to deal with horror stories involving girls as young as six. It is not good that he hit you but believe me, he probably regrets it more than you think. I would say, just give your Dad a chance. Don't be so mad at him coz you have to understand where he is coming from. However, if you are above 18, you should be responsible enough and be able to stay safe on your own. Make your Dad understand this and maybe you can even get your bf to come in and assure your Dad that he will take care of you well on the weekend.

Answer 5

Ohhh sweetheart. Let me tell you... telling your dad that he could go to hell probably hurt him worse than the slap he gave you in the face. Now I'm not saying that it was right for him to slap you... but you have to really think about what you said to him. You basically told your Dad that you love your boyfriend more than him! No, you didn't say those exact words... but telling him to go to hell along with saying you love your bf is the ultimate slap in the face to any parent. I'm only 25... but I am a mom... and I can tell you that I would've probably slapped my daughter too... out of shock and anger. That still doesn't make it right... he's probably just as upset right now as you are... he is probably going crazy over the thought that he hit you, and that you basically told him that he was less important than your bf.

You should unlock your door, and go and just hug your father & cry it out. Explain to him that you love him no matter what, and that you didn't mean what you said, and that you know that he just wants what's best for you. Listen to what he has to say... he may have a lot to tell you, or he may not have much at all. Either way, I don't think you should see your boyfriend at all this weekend. I think you should spend the rest of this weekend hanging out with your dad, and forgiving each other for the hurt you both caused each other today.

Don't run away from him... there is no love in this world greater than the love that a parent has for their child. Trust me. Boyfriends come & go... but your father will be your Dad forever.

Good luck with it... go to your father & work things out immediately. Remember, he's probably just as upset about this as you... if not more so.

***huge hugs***

Answer 6

Your daddy has over pampered you by even permitting you to have a boy friend. Where I come from, it's a taboo for your parents to be aware of such things and if they get to know, you will be in for a terrible spanking.

You are fortunate to have received just a little nudge. Consider that a pat on the back. Imagine the cheek asking your daddy to be allowed to go over to your bf place for a whole weekend. Why not go over and start living with him.

Wait my dear until you get married.

Answer 7

Let me tell you a story. My dau. liked this guy. And i let her. But i didn't know he was giving her cocaine. And when i found out. I put a stop to it. (and he did take advantage of her, while she was high. if anyone knows what i mean.)
And it hurt, that i trusted this guy. He turned an innocent gril into a spiteful ,hateful ,selfish dis-respectal. uncaring, mean, and just down right, hurtful.
And once i found out i put a stop to it. but, i got a lot of whiplash back from her.
She hated me because i stopped her from seeing him. She would say hurtful things to me.
Saying how much she hated me. and wish i was dead. Or wish i was out of her life.
Or how she doesn't want me to be part of her life no more. How grown up she is, and can handle herself.
And we fought with each other for about a week. until we were to tired to do it. Weeks turned into months.
We would wear ourselves, out. and go at it again, when we got up. She would slap me, and and tell me i don't love her, or its all a game.
Yea, it was very hurtful. but after about a month or more, she started, coming back to her senses.
And started to understand,why i did . what i did. the pain is still there, and the memories. wil never go away.
But we come to terms with, it. And doing our best, to put it behind us.
And now we understand, each other a little bit more. and her love for me is stronger ,then what it was.
So don't hate you dad ,for what he did. reporting well, sometimes it destroys a family, instead of making it better. Sometimes, things need to be kept in the family, unless ,they are willing to destroy it, because of a misunderstanding.
Sure ,you could report it. but why good, would that do.
It would make it worse between ,your dad, mom, and you.
Are you willing to destroy ,your family over a boy, who may just want you to have sex with you, and thats all.
And then when hes done with you, .he won't even talk to you.
Then you will be hurting, and looking for comfort, and your dad may not give it to you, because you didn't listen.

Answer 8

See this as an opportunity. A motivation sent from the heavens. A sign, if you will. Get a steady job, get an apartment, break up with your boyfriend, and slowly get yourself back into college. Not all at once, though. Change can be enough to make you run from it. Good luck.

Answer 9

First of all you need to know that a: this isn't your fault, and b: your dad still loves you. You should never stop beleiving in what you think is true in your heart because of your father. I suggest that you talk to him about it and let him know that you didn't like what you did and were deeply hurt by his physical agression towards you. You should probably let your mother know what he did, unless you believe she will react in a way that is less than favorable towards yourself. If this ever happens again tell someone because even though you love your father it is not worth an abusive childhood.

Answer 10

a. your dad crossed the line. he should never have slapped you.
b. you crossed the line and shouldn't have told your dad to go to hell.
c. that's no excuse for him slapping you.

are you in danger?

have you asked your dad why he doesn't like this boyfriend and then really listened? Is your dad just being petty, or does he possibly know something and is trying to keep you from making a bad decision or getting hurt?

It's certainly o.k. to be mad, I don't think I'd run off yet unless you think you might be in physical danger.