Should we stay together?

Question

When we first started dating it was great, I felt great. We were only together for a year and we became prenagent and it was hard. But we made the best of it and moved in together and I was very emotional (because I was prenagent). Neither one of us were ready, I mean we are old enough (me 25 him 29) but we hadn't been together that long. Anyway things of course changed it like we are kinda just going through the motions of everyday like and don't show and attention to each other the way we used to. I love him very much and he says the same but it just doesn't feel like it used to. He asked me to marry him 3 months ago and two nights ago we called it off. We got in a fight about his mother and last night we finally taked about it. He said he doesn't feel the same anymore and without saying it made me feel like the only reason he asked me to marry him was because of our son. Don't know what to do. I love him very much and before the other night he says all the time he loves me

Pretty much I want to know it this is normal to feel this way after having a child with all of the stress that is involved? We not have much time to connect on the level we used to. We both are really busy with full time jobs and our son when we get home dinner bath and so on.

Answer 1

I think it's odd that you feel this way especially after having your baby. A lot of friends of mine acually feel closer to their partners after the baby. It seems that he's going through a phase where he doesn't know what to do. If you are unsure of his feelings now, then I wouldn't get married if I were you simply due to the fact that in later years, when your son's old enough, you may seperate and that will break his heart. Both of you should marry because you know you love each other, not just because you have a son! If you feel like this relationship is going to be a dead end, sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you're not sure of his intentions anymore and that you don't know why he's still with you. Ask him if it's your son that keeps you two together and tell him your feelings for him. Make sure that he loves you and that he's willing to commit to you before you make the choice to stay with him. About the arguement, don't do it all the time. Of course it's normal to argue, but it's unheathy to do it all the time, especially in front of your son. My advice, live each day with your boyfriend as if it was going to be your last, because truelly, we all never know when it's going to be the last time we ever see someone alive. Good Luck and give your son a kissy wissy for me! ^^
A.L.

Answer 2

It sounds like he is scared of the commitment. But if his feelings have changed there has to be a reason. Take things slow and see what happens. Don't push. Keep talking and see what will happen. Try not to fight about his mother.