What should a punishment for my daughter be?

Question

I found my daughter's boyfriend in her room the other night. I took him home and i don't know how to punish her. What should the punishment be?

She is a 15 year old girl.

and he was in there while we were home. I caught on because i tried to get something out of the bathroom and the door was locked.

Answer 1

No phone, No computer and make sure she knows that if he is to come over that she is not allowed to have him in her room. Unless they can be in there with the door open. But even that is a stupid rule. When I was younger and I had a boy over, I could have him in my room with the door open and I would get checked on every 5 minutes anyways or my little brother would be in there too. There was nothing to do in my room......They should find something to do outside of the bedroom, that is just too intimate.

Now that I got way off the subject....If you tell her she can't talk to him for a week or whatever she will be love struck and go behind your back. I would stick with the no phone or computer for a week if you have made it clear to her before that he shouldn't be in there. If she has a cell phone...take it away and watch her closely, but explain to her that it is only temporary and she needs to be more responsible. Good Luck!

Answer 2

First of all a little more details about the situation is needed to determine an answer. Such as , was she breaking a rule you had already established? If not then, no punishment. This is a great time to sit down and talk with her about your concerns about why you don't want her boyfriend in her bedroom.
Also to immediately assume that there was something going on in the bedroom that you didn't approve of set's up an expectation that your daughter was doing something wrong.
Start with trust and respect, then state very clearly to her what your rules are in the house concerning boyfriends.

The reality is your daughter has a boyfriend, she likes him and she wants to spend time with him. Do you want her to spend time with him in your home under your supervision or do you want to drive her out of the house where anything can happen?
I have a daughter who is now 21 and when she was that age(15) I would let her boyfriend come to our house and spend time in the "public" areas of the house...kitchen, living room...
I also told her that I had no problem with them showing affection to each other, such as hand holding or sitting close while watching TV. It determined both a respect for their relationship and boundry's about behavior. Most of all a safe place to experience young love:) Which is going to happen either way, at least this way she is home and not in some potentially dangerous situation where the boundaries are unclear.
Good Luck and give her a hug ... not punishment.

Answer 3

Was he over there while you and you're husband were gone? Does she KNOW that he shouldnt be there without a adult being there also? If she knows i would tell her she couldnt do nothing for the next 3 weekends until she learned how to respect you and you're house, and also you'r rules. How old is you're daughter anyways? You could sit down with her and talk to her about having sex at a young age and what all can happen, getting a STD or getting pregnant. She should learn what she did was wrong.

Answer 4

Age? Were they Clothed? I know my kids bedrooms are like entertainment centers, computers,playstations, stereos,TV's, etc... Doors MUST remain open, and they are subject to periodic walk-ins. Is there furniture in there besides just a bed? If not, make room for such. And make the rule that this is the furniture to be utilized. NEVER on the bed! You can't really tell her to avoid seeing this boy because that'll make her want to see him more,BUT you can come up with some guidelines. Does she have a cell-phone? Take that away for awhile. The boy shouldn't be allowed in her room without other friends present. (preferably one you can trust to be a rat for you) It's a crucial time for you, you don't want to alienate her from you but she in turn has to be able to regain the trust. Good Luck to you on this one.

Answer 5

no matter what the punishment is she will still find a way to do it.Really you want whats best for her and that is why you want to punish her.You have to secure you're relationship with her does she really know the dangers of having relations? and if she does i doubt she realizes the consequences because they are worst then a week to you're room.disease a bad a reputation baby depending on this young lads intentions.
I strongly think you should have serious conversation with her but loving one.put you're self in her shoes.Bring her to a doctor and do you're homework.Remember you want her to be able to come to you so be open minded but show her she has to take responsibility for her actions.medical care condoms etc. she has to think of her safety because he might not and the only safest way to be safe is not to have relations.
Now that she is older you can't always watch her so you have to teach her to watch out for herself.no matter what she decides.

Answer 6

First how old is your daughter. Second if you punish her she will just find another method of sneaking. So encourage your daughter to be open with you and just talk to her and figure out a way that they can see each other in a positive way---for instance visit one another with supervision. Consider Birth control also--not to encourage sex but that you are not trying to be a grandparent.

Answer 7

I have a 15 year old daughter as well. I would try to calm down (I know that's hard) and really talk to her. Without knowing much past info I would discuss how intimate get togethers can lead to things that they might not be ready to handle. I would be supportive of her relationship with boys but I would lay out some ground rules. I would need to know and approve of his visits to my home, if they felt they had to be in the bedroom I would have an open door rule, no cuddling under blankets etc. You may also want to talk about safe sex. We don't want it to happen but if it does you want to make sure she knows how to protect herself and why. Unfortunatey this isn't the time to beat around the bush - you should be very open.
I would also talk to the boyfriend. Make it clear to him that you love your daughter and you support her and tell him the same things you told your daughter. Tell him the rules. By telling him you know without a doubt that he knows and would have to willfully break your rules to do this again. I believe that teens must be responsible for their behavior and by holding them responsibe you are doing them a huge favor.
I would also consider getting together with his parents. Today there is so much for our teens to get into. It would be helpful for you to know that the other parents are also talking to their son.
I would tell them that you want to trust them, you want them to be able to spend time together but that in order for you to trust them they will have to play by the rules.

Answer 8

well my dad actually caught me doing the same thing and his punishment for me is that we had to break up and then we talked for a long time about how all boys want is sex and they will do anything to get it. but you need to talk to her and explain things to her.

Answer 9

No matter what shes going to go against whatever you say, teenage girls are like that, the best thing to do is talk to her about having unprotective sex (if she is having sex) and let her know that you don't want them in the bedroom by theirselfs and if they are they need to keep the door open.
All out of respect that it is your house.

Answer 10

lots of girls hav their boyfriends in their rooms as long as the door is open but win its closed u hav no idea what they are doing. tell her she cant go over his house anymore, cant talk on the phone for 2 weeks, and her boyfriend can only come over for dinner