A girl in my school died recently, and we were friends, but not really close. She is however some of my closest friends best friend. We had a few things we did together, and I feel like I should do something to pay respect to her memory, but I don't want to feel like I'm just honing in on the funeral/wake when I don't belong. Is there any etiquette for how well you should know a person before you go to their funeral? Thank you.
2007-03-17 03:10:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Go in order to comfort your friends, and the girl's family.
They don't know or care how close you were to their daughter, but they will notice how many kids her age show up, and they will appreciate (maybe not for a while, but in time) that their daughter had friends. Its a comfort to the parents.
And your friends, who were closer to her than you were, will need your support.
Funerals and wakes are uncomfortable many times, so it is easy to talk yourself out of going for a variety of reasons. But don't do it, just dress up nicely and go be a comfort to your friends.
2007-03-17 03:31:53 · answer #1 · answered by Erin Gamer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am concerned, you have reason to be there. You are kind enough to care and consider the others involved and that is the kind of person a family and friends want to come in and pay their respects for the loss of their loved one.
You don't have to stay for more than a few minutes, but the gesture is worth a lot.
Even some students or parents who may have not known the girl at all may show up as a sign of community support, which I think is also fine.
The funeral is where close family and friends belong...a wake is a public chance to pay respects.
Go and you will feel better for it.
2007-03-17 10:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by novamanassas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually people come to pay respect at the wake, be it the neighbor who just heard about the loss ,to the best friend, perhaps the person's childhood friend that they had not seen in years, to the waitress at the coffee shop. Anyone may attend a wake and stay as long as they like. Five minutes or three hours, it is all okay. A wake is for people to come and pay their respect to the family and the deceased.
Funerals are usually reserved for the closer circle to the deceased, but not always.
I was at a wake recently, and in the next room there was another one for a high school boy. It was packed ... hundreds of teens there. I thought it was touching. I am sure that the family thought so also.
Go to the wake, it will make you feel better that you did. You need not go to the funeral.
Good luck, and I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.
2007-03-17 12:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by aivilo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No rule. A wake or funeral, if published, is not by invite only. I sometimes go to funerals for the support of remaining family or friends, not just to honor the deceased. Your friends are really hurting now, and I'm sure, they would love to have your support. Go.
2007-03-17 10:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by just browsin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you feel in your heart you should pay respect to her memory, then go to the wake, you don't have to go to the funeral. You are going not only for the deceased person, but you are going to show her family you respected the girl. I once started a job, two weeks later the bosses wife passed away, I didn't know the boss or his wife, but I went to pay my repects to my boss.
2007-03-17 12:39:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very simple. Go to the funeral to show your respect. However you do not need to go to the wake. Many people do not attend wakes. There is no insult taken if you decide not to attend the wake.
It's a VERY personal thing.
2007-03-17 10:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by auriform2 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will be showing your respect for the loss of a friend , and it might help the parents to see how her friends cared for her. Who is to say you don't belong ? Pay your respects.
2007-03-17 10:21:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the wake and not the funeral.
2007-03-17 10:26:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sopwith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the funeral. It may comfort her parents.
2007-03-17 10:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi you should go ,you will feel better than not going .
2007-03-17 15:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋