in family for weddings and baby christenings for years. I'm supposed to carry it, then put it on my babies head, and its then used in baby's wedding, etc. Thing is, we aren't gonna have kids, but he has 2 younger brothers who might want to. Should I give it back to her for them, or carry it?
2007-03-17 01:46:28 · 8 answers · asked by Maria S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds to me like it's passed down with the first-born. But, if you're concerned about it, just ask her if she'd like for them to use it as well. This is important to her, so be sensitive.
2007-03-17 01:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I think you should treat it as the honor it is. This particular tradition is obviously very important to his family, and they will be probably be horrified if you didn't want to carry it. As far as future uses, of course nobody can predict whether they will have children AND whether those children would eventually marry. Just hang onto it until such time as the next generation begins to marry, and you'll probably offer it then for their weddings, etc. Just because you don't want children now doesn't mean you will always feel like that, and even if you do not ever have children, this isn't the appropriate time to be bringing up the issue-you're being offered the hankie for your wedding, and you should just graciously accept it, and pass it along when appropriate-like another family event.
2007-03-17 09:00:48 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would carry it. You may say now that youre not having children but you might change your mind...and accidents can happen! If either or your BIL's get married offer it to their fiances to carry, explaining the family tradition of course, or wait until they have children to offer the hankie. Its a small gesture on your part to carry the hankie in the wedding so I would do it. Especially since if you dont she'll never forget and you'll never live it down!
2007-03-17 10:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by miss m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it in your shoe. Nobody will see it and you are still carrying on the tradition. Then return it, to go to the next bride or baby. My daughter carried her hanky which she wore on her christening day as a hat, which was a baby shower gift when I was pregnant with her.
2007-03-17 19:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by dpascoe8692 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maria, it's a lovely tradition, and you should feel honored that she's inviting you to share in it. I would carry the hankie, and then gently explain when one of the younger brother gets married, that you would love for the tradition to continue, and since you aren't having children, you would like for her to be able to share it with his new wife.
But definietly carry the hankie, because even though a child of yours won't be wearing it, the next child who does, can say well " my aunt carried it too along with ......". You will just make it more special for the next person!
Happiest of wedding days to you and your groom. May your years together long and happy filled.
God bless us all...............
2007-03-17 12:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would carry it and then give it back when the other brothers get married so their wives can carry it as well. Its probably meant to be shared between all of you together, so when you are finished with it give it back to your MIL to hold on to with a special note of thanks for allowing you to carry something so special and that it really made you feel like a daughter to her or something like that.
We have a christening gown like that in our family, its meant for all the kids to wear and then their kids can wear it and pass it between each other and so forth. I keep it at my house because I am the keeper of everything sentimental in my family, but when each of us has kids I hand it over and then take it back when they are done for safe keeping. I'm sure this hanky is meant to be used in the same way.
2007-03-17 08:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Carry it and keep the peace. Have the both of you had your surgeries already, so neither of you can have children? If not, get that done first, if you are REALLY sure. Then, return the heirloom.
2007-03-17 16:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I think that you need to voice your concern with the mil. Does she know that you don't plan on extending your family? I think you and your groom should sit down with her in and be openminded when you voice your concerns as well.
Good Luck!!
2007-03-17 09:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋