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Question

I fell in love, got pregnant, he beat me so I left and lived on the street, gave costody to HIS grandma. Fell in love, got pregnant, left him for being a mamaboy' and lived on street, gave temp. costody to HIS mom. Fell in love, got pregnant, got married, got pregnant again, bad relationship...now stuck.
Question is Did I do the right thing? Some say you cant raise a child on the streets, AND you didnt kill them, like some do. The welfare does not have them, another +, And you visit one but arent allowed near the other (his mom hates me). But still, did I do right or wrong? I still think about it, I dwell in the past alot, but I would like to hear from people who dont know me.
Some say I should of kept my pants on, I agree, but you cant change the past and I was a stupid girl who thought I knew it all, I wouldnt of listened anyways back then.

Answer 1

You did fine. You gave birth to two beautiful children. You gave them life. Go forward with your life. Try to get some counseling so that you can change your outlook and possibly live differently in the future. You did good. Best to you.

Answer 2

You can't change the past all you can do is try to do better in the future. One positive thing you can think about is you did not keep your children with you, that would have been selfish. You gave them a better life, living in the streets could never be a good thing for children or adults. Now as far as your current relationship, you can try to make it work if possible or leave. If there is no way to make it work, leave. You deserve to be happy. But I would suggest before entering into any more relationships or having any more children you decide what you want. Maybe having a husband and family isn't really what you are looking for. Maybe you need to build a life for yourself, but not in the streets. Good luck.

Answer 3

Hi tekken185
You sound like you've been through some rough times, abuse and the street life are harsh. I think you did the best you could at the time. And no one has the right to judge you, you have feelings of guilt and despair, meaning you are a good person, look forward try to learn from mistakes, call the police if you are getting abused and look after youself. Ask anyone if they would like to change something in their past, the answer is everyone would because we're all imperfect. Try to do the best you can and good luck for the future.
PS
Ignore any negative responses you may get cause they dont know what its like to be in your shoes and they dont know what its like to be abused and live on the street,

Answer 4

Wow, I have to say, Not too many people can look at them self and face it head on. I am a true believer and practice this every day, WE MUST SAVE CHILDREN. every child.
any that's just what you did, YOU SAVED YOUR CHILDREN.
BE proud of that, VERY PROUD.. You not only did the Right thing, you did it for the right reasons.and don't let anyone tell you any different. Don't dwell, find the lesson learned, move on and focus on the now. If you continue to have more children ,then you didn't learn the real lesson and that would be wrong.

Answer 5

I think you did the best you could with the life experience and knowledge you had at the time. That's all any of us can do. I just hope you have learned your lessons and stop repeating your cycle of falling in love and getting pregnant. The kids are better off with relatives than on the street. I just hope the people they are with love them and take care of them the way they should be taken care of and loved.
Hopefully as you have gotten older you have opened your mind enough to listen to good advice when you hear it.

Answer 6

14 for my 1st child- I surrendered him for adoption.
18 for my 2nd child - my family has her, because they have always fought for her.
19 for the baby- the welfare took him away at 3 months I fought for 18 months then decided it was best for him to just surrender him for adoption also.

The one thing I can tell you is never regret what you do as a mom that you know is best for your children. When a mom loves her children she will sacrifice her happiness to give them stability.
My 2nd child is a daughter, I had her in my custody off & on for about 11 years , now she lives only about 20 miles from me because I sacrificed my happiness with her to give her better.Now, she dislikes me.
My boys, well it will be up to them in the future if they are accepting or not.
Anyway, from a mom to a mom that was & is still in a similar situation , YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD DO AT THE TIME. NEVER EVER ALLOW ANYONE TO TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. We all make mistakes , and yes maybe you should have kept your pants on but "he" is just as responsible for the situation as you are. Always remember it takes two people to make a child not one.
Mom, hold your head up one day all your children will eventually know the truths and understand.

If you need to just talk email me & I will do my best to lend an ear.

And yes, you did the right thing at the time.

Answer 7

Asking me if you did the right thing would require me to judge your actions. I am not God, so therefore I can not sit in judgment of anyone. What I would have done is scrubbed dishes, dug ditches, scrubbed toilets or anything I needed to do to keep my children. My wife left me and 3 children so she could be a party animal. I did the best I could and raised them. The question only remains is that if you can forgive yourself. If you are asking for approval on your actions, I can give none. If you are asking forgiveness, that is between you and God. I do not hate you for what you did, I do not judge you for what you did. But if I knew your past, and met you, I would have a hard time trusting your decision processes. That would be the only thing I would ever do to you. Look to God for forgiveness, and feel his love show you the way to forgive yourself.

Answer 8

ok first you sound young,, an i going to talk to you like a dad ok....,,you a big girl,, an sould like you love sex to much.......an by what you wrote, you in a rut, you keep, going back to the same kind of man,,,,,,, sweeted love is blind, an it dont tell us how to live our life,,,,, but yes you did do right, you put your kids first,,,,but honest the street no place foe a young lady,,,,, i think you need to stop, an think where your life going,,,,look back where you been, an do your best to change it,,,,,,, now i want to ask you something,,, do you love to live on the street?,, are you running for you pass?... an are you look for some one to true love you, that you willing to, take what every come your way?,, no you can not change the pass, god know that, but you can change the future,,,,,, honest if you was close, i first give you a big hug,, the ,, sit you down, an try to pump something in they hard head,,,,,,, no one need to live on the street,, ,, hug ,,may god ,, show you the way

Answer 9

Have you considered a tubal ligation. (getting your tubes tied) No you didn't have abortions and that's good but maybe adoption would have been a good option. If welfare does not "have" them does that mean that the caregivers of your children get no assistance to help with raising the children? I don't know your age but get a job, I hope some day you meet a nice guy eventually marry him. Until then, get counseling and thank God you don't have any stds. (I hope not anyway)

Answer 10

You can't change the past but you can change the future. Your kids are in good hands right now and you did the best for them at the time. NOW, get rid of all the guys and get fixed or get on the pill and get a job. You are the only one that can change things. YOU CAN DO IT. Good luck honey.