i met a guy two months ago (24), and at that time he was dumped by his girlfriend and was heartbroken.
We had so much in common and we became very good friends.We got on well and started hanging on to the phone a lot. Now im in love with him too, and he knows that.
We are really close but he misses his girl a lot. anyways it wouldnt have worked out between the two, cos of religion differences.
i dont wanna miss him.and i cant even bear to think of him hookin up with another girl. i decided to stop contacts many times, but sadly failed...
but the thing is,he still cant forget about his Ex.he has an idea not to start another relationship for his life again.
he had been so deeply in love with her.
but suppose we do go out, what if it goes wrong all the way, what if he wanted to start an affair just to forget about his Ex?
what if it was just friendship which he thinks is love?
WHAT if he loves me OUT OF SYMPATHY or somethin?
ERGH...... its too complicating.
help me plz?
2007-03-17 01:07:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(oy bunny guy... that was ru......de:)
but i know for sure he wouldnt play with me anyday...........
2007-03-17 01:16:59 · update #1
STOP! all contact with him very ubruptly, do not take any phone calls or emails no ims nothing, just stop everything at once. Just wait a few days and see if he comes back to you or if he is in fact using as a crutch. If he comes back to you and wonders what happened then you can explain to him that you have fallen in love with him and you can not bare to hear about his EX again. You are you and that is that and he is hurting you talking about her loss......Get over it and move on with or without me, because she aint coming back.....so now where do we go from here. And just wait and see what his response is.....TRUST me young one....for you, you will find out the truth and it will work out either way, #1 you are who he wants to be with or #2 you will find out if he is using you as a rebound #3 or you will find out if he just looks at you as a "friend" and that is it....but you must be prepared....but if you keep sitting around and do nothing and just keep being there for him to use as a sounding board, he will loose the "testosterone" feeling towards you if you know what I mean ie...."respect yourself...." you do not want to be in love with someone that is in love with someone else. and make him EARN your respect....you are human and you have feelings...if he sees you back away, then he knows where his bounderies are and especially talking about other women even if she is his EX.
2007-03-17 01:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by Keli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jeene
You must be really frustrated by this, its a difficult scenario for anyone to cope with. Well all i can say is nobody wants to be number two on the list,and no one wants to be the back up plan. You say he still can't forget about his ex, I think you deserve someone who loves you with their full heart. If you give it a break for a while and just go out with your friends and have a good time it might make him realize, hang on this girls not just gonna hang around waiting till i get over my ex. She's someone special and i better chase after her. You know what i mean? Plus you'll meet other guys if this one doesn't work out, make sure you maintain that self respect-YOU WILL not be second inline because you deserve better.
Hope that kinda helps I don't have much relationship experience so you might want to take that into account
good luck girl i hope you get all the happiness you deserve
2007-03-17 08:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by nightdreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a breakup two months ago. I couldnt stop thinking about it. My tears whould come when I was walking in the street and stuf...
I was seeing her yet but just as freinds. But something was not clear for me so I couldnt let it go.
Two weeks ago we talked for about an hour and at the end manythings changed. I realized that our relation was so different from what I thought. First I was so anry but now everything is fine. Tears have gone and I am normal.
Encourage him to talk with his EX.
2007-03-17 08:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been on both ends of this type of relationship. It is never fair (to yourself or the person you are dateing) to get involved with someone new if you are not over the past. That being said, You really need to talk to him. If she broke his heart he may be scared to let you in for fear of getting hurt again. He may just need time and understanding.
Talk to him and find out if he is ready to get involved. Tell him you are willing to take things slow and not to rush him. Show him the things that you have to give and try to build up his faith in you. It may take some time but hopefully he will come around.
Good Luck.
2007-03-17 08:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ammikins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, why would you want to be with this guy? That is the question to ask yourself..What is it about him that keeps you coming back?
Secondly, why would you want to be with this guy?!? You deserve to be #1 to someone.
I would say be a friend and NOTHING more. If it would not work with the two of you because of religion differences then move on! (be a friend but nothing more) Religion differences don't "work themselves out in the end" I married a man thinking that way and ultimately it led to our divorce. Don't push something that isn't meant to be.
Keep your chin up and keep trudging forward.
2007-03-17 08:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by Angelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now he's using you as a crutch and you're letting him. He may have genuine concern for you but he can't show it if you're around helping him to ignore his confusion.
For your own sake, stay away from him for a solid week. When he calls, it'll be because he's missing the crutch. Give it a second week and it could be because he misses you and your other attributes. Which are not visible as long as you are begging for his attention by giving in to his unreadiness.
2007-03-17 08:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by Venita Peyton 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right in some things you are saying here, he needs to heal from that past relationship before he can honestly say how he feels about you now.
He probably thinks he knows how he feels about you, but when you are still hurting/feeling sad about a past relationship that you haven't worked out (healed from) yet, it is difficult to see things clearly when relating to other people.
Stay friends with him if you like, but he needs to heal and move on from his old relationship first, otherwise it is not fair to you, for like you said he may change his mind.
2007-03-17 08:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay friends with him, give him some time to come out of the soup, But if he cant forget his old affair then you better move out of the relationship.Wait for sometime before you take the dive.He needs time to forget .....
2007-03-17 08:26:39 · answer #8 · answered by SDP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I don't think that you should go out with him just yet, be a good friend and try your best to help him get over his EX. its gonna take a lot of patience and care to help him get through this but in the end when he's over her he'll probably want to give the both of you a try
2007-03-17 08:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by Crazilicous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do go out with him, know upfront that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. His heart belongs to another person. I think that the more you hang out with him, the more you will be hurt in the long run. First thing is always first... protect yourself.
2007-03-17 08:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋