I lost my oldest son 2 years ago due to a sudden and unexpected heart failure. The grief endures to this day, although I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. I need your advice on managing my grief and sadness.
2007-03-17 00:53:16 · 22 answers · asked by L J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry for your loss
There is no answer to that. Only you can dictate this. Seek help, talk to people, and come to some place of peace.
2007-03-17 00:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Michael b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my God, I am so so very sorry. I too lost my oldest Son
3 years ago, he was 22 yrs old. I will hurt for a life time and I am OK with that. I am so afraid I'll forget. How do I manage, I don't know, I just do You must find some peace with your loss. My peace:my son is at home, I just wanted him home..
I filled my home with pictures of everybody I love, I cant get enough.this gives me comfort.
I am sorry I am talking about my loss and not yours
My heart goes out to you , I am so sorry. , I cry with you now.
find some peace with his death, I cant say that word. Find some peace in your heart, when you have that.it is the start of healing You sadness, I don't know. They say time heals all wounds, I guess we have to believe that, because nothing else can. So in time it shall get better. I trying to find answers for you, but I don't seem to have any. nothing makes sense. am sorry. Oh I have something to share, this was written by my daughter, I hope it helps some, I have nothing else
As the days get longer
you grow stronger
knowing the pain
will soon fade away
along with the rain
As the sunshines brighter
your spirit flies higher
knowing the joy
will soon appear
along with no fear
As the rainbow glows
your heart flows
knowing the rhythm
will soon beat
along with your soul
as the sunsets down
your spirit has grown
knowing the loneliness
will soon fade away
along with your pain
God bless you and your family, you are in my prayers
2007-03-17 09:21:47 · answer #2 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all may i express my sympathy for the lose of your son You should be given the right to mourn your son because he is special. With the help and support from friends and family and indeed ministers if you are religious then it makes is more bearable . Your lost son will always be a part of you. The lord givers and the Lord takers. It is all part of the cycle of life. He has gone to a better place. Each and everyone of us have a duty on this earth. Sadly some of us are here for only a short while and when the Lord need us he calls. We will all go home one day. He has gone home and you will meet him again hopefully. I pray that in time you come to terms with your lose and accept it. It is hard but your son will want you to go on.Do not rush it. Cry when ever you want to. Talk about it to those who are kind enough to listen and not make you feel like you have to pretend you are not hurting when in fact you are. If there is no one to talk to then I wouldn't mind being that somebody. That is what we are here for to help each other and to pick each other up when we stumble and fall. May God Almighty give you the strength and the will to go on with your life. I pray that you find serenity in this little note. God Bless.
2007-03-17 08:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by mothergoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grief has to be embraced, not avoided. Let the tears flow for as long as you need...then decide that you must move forward with your life in a more positive manner. Focus on the good, positive memories of your son. Talk with friends and family about him and his life...no longer about his death. Do volunteer work with the American Heart Association (if you're from the USA). The following quote may help you...."LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE, BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY" You suffered a tragic loss...no parent wants to out-live their child. But his life made a difference while he was here...now you need to live YOUR life. You will never forget him, and healing takes time. However you can choose to live the rest of your life with sadness and grief...or you can celebrate his and your life by enjoying every day and doing something positive.
2007-03-17 08:04:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How very sad. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think parents ever get over the loss of their children but in time, they do learn to cope and get on with their lives. Sometimes getting actively involved with supporting a charity or raising awareness of say heart health matters gives someone a focus for their grief. Best of luck.
2007-03-17 07:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by no_fool 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u may need to get some spiritual counseling, only god can help u, it is understandable why u are grieved. join a grief group where there are others like yourself who are also suffering the same thing, a loss of someone u loved. know that we do see them again, that death doesn't mean u won't see him again. but that there may still be things u need to accomplish in life, something new to learn. grief can be helped if u get with a non judge mental person to listen, unresolved grief can do u alot of harm, physically, and emotionally. its just something u need to get some help for.
2007-03-17 07:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is always with you, in your thoughts and in your heart. Although difficult try and focus on the positive thoughts of your son, the good memories. He would not want you to hurt this way, Try and fill the emptiness you feel with new memories. Spend more time cherishing the living loved ones, Also try writing a letter to him telling him everthing you feel all the things you may have wanted to say but did not get the chance to. A part of your life is gone and you need to fill that void before it eats you alive..... He knows he was loved.......
2007-03-17 08:10:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all wounds. It takes different amount of time for different people. Our kids are not suppose to die before us parents and that is quite sad. I am sorry that this has happened to you. I pray for you and I hope that you have God in your heart and in your life as He can help you with your sadness. Hang in there and may God Bless You. Try to remember the good times that will help also.
2007-03-17 09:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically there is no telling how long the hurt will remaine and im so sorry to hear about your loss you know somtimes things are just ment to be and basically would your son be hurtting because you are still hurtting its time to except he is in gods arms with all good things at his finger tips i believe and he is at peace im am not telling you to get over it but try to smile and think he is smilling back and one day you will be together again and he is not loanly he has friends and other family with him he is fine trust in your heart to believe what is ment to be will be i hope you find comfort some day but you will never loss the hurt that is somthing you will carry for a long time just learn how to deal with it when it happens look to the sky and smile and trust hes in a better place god bless you
2007-03-17 08:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my mom 6 years ago, i was 16 then and I'm the eldest daughter of three. It's still hard for me to think about her now so I just don't and if I can't help it then I just keep telling myself that it's better for her to not be here with us because she's not suffering, she doesn't have to think about bills, she doesn't have to worry about my sister's dating. And besides, time will come that we'll see each other again.
2007-03-17 08:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by chessie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pray...prayer is the best thing to do..,talk to our Lord, tell HIm all you sadness, all your grief. HE WILL LISTEN....you are His DAUGHTER, and what kind of father will let his daughter be sad...remember, you didnt loose ur son! Hes just not there beside you, but im sure he is still there in your heart...Pray to GOD that he will be with him there in heaven, happy with him...And as for you, leave your grief to the Lord. Its not only God who watches over you, also your little son :) Smile,,,GOD BLESS YOU
2007-03-17 07:59:50 · answer #11 · answered by camerlengo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋