okay. so my grandpa is old. and my mom wants him to move in with us. so next week hes moving in. he needs A LOT of care and im really NOT close to him at all. even when he visits its hard to take care of him. im a teenager and i have alot of friends that mean alot to me and i dont want to loose them by having my time taken up by him moving in. i cant tell my mom because she will FLIP out on me and tell me im being selfish. i feel bad but im really not ready to baby sit a 86 year old guy i dont know. what should i do!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
2007-03-17 00:07:57 · 25 answers · asked by julia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well it really isn't fair to say baby sitting an old guy is only your job unless your mother said you have to take care of him and only you.
Regardless he's your grandfather and it's not like you're going to take care of him for 20 years, he doesn't have that many years left and if he does it's called Karma Sweetie. Karma.
2007-03-17 00:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all realize that he is your grandfather, he is your blood and family is the most important thing of all. If you've never been close to him then now may be the chance to do so. Second a friend is somebody who stands by you through your rough times as well as the good times. If your friends don't understand that you have your responsibilities that have to come before your social life then they're not truly your friends no matter how hurtful that may sound. Finally your mother would have a point in calling you selfish because there's no harm to be done in looking after your own family. Just talk with her and illustrate to her that you will help but you're not going to do all the work in taking care of him.
2007-03-17 00:13:38 · answer #2 · answered by outcast_jimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like in a few years or less your grandpa will die. Maybe while he's around you should get to know him a bit. When you are older, you may find that by spending some of your free time this way will be infinitely more valuable than spending this time with your friends. When your an adult and have a family of your own, you could be very interested in your family history and how your ancestors impacted your life, basically how you became you. You can still of course spend time with your friends, but if you can find any maturity and compassion within yourself, you will make some time for your grandfather. It's really about learning about yourself and your history by learning about him. Ask him about how life was like when he was a teenager. Ask him about what his parents and grandparents were like. Try to get curious. When life is all about me, me, me, one becomes more selfish, immature, and miserable. When you start of think of others and their well-being, well you start to find a different kind of satisfaction. That said, if your mum is giving you too many responsibilities, you should negotiate with her. You are young and should not have to be the main carer. But it would be good to help your mum out. Good luck.
2007-03-17 00:25:18 · answer #3 · answered by Steph717 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I say anything else, I just want to remind you of this: He IS your grandpa- your own flesh and blood. When/ If he dies, you are going to shed at least a tear.
Be nice to him while he's around. I understand that you feel you totally can't connect with him, and it's kind of boring and a big fat chore.
I get what you mean. But your granpa's sick, and he needs help- it's not as if he's just being lazy. As a human, you should help the sick person.
Your mum also needs your help.
However, if your mother starts giving you too many responsibilities, THEN you speak up. Tell her that it's eating into a lot of your time, and you'd appreciate a few less chores.
But, before you do this, show your mum you care. I'm sure that's something she really wants to see.
2007-03-17 02:20:59 · answer #4 · answered by Chocolate Strawberries. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great opportunity to get to know your Grandfather for the first time. You would be surprised at how interesting older people can be if you just give them a chance and talk to them like they are regular people. He has been alive for 86 years. Just think about all of the things he's seen and experienced. Being kind to him and paying him a bit of attention shouldn't have an adverse affect on your social life at all. If you have good, true friends, they will understand and even come over and try to be kind and talk to him, too. I do think you are being selfish. Try to give this man who should be special to you, a little time and attention. I think you'll find it is well worth it.
2007-03-17 03:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all "YES" you are being selfish, i dont care weather your close to him or not, maybe now is the time to start to get to know him,spend some time with him,it dont have to be every day,but do get to know him, because "Today is promised to no-one and it's better to know him a little bit rather than not know him at all... And please remember that your friends will be around a lot longer than your granpa will. And once he's gone he wont be back. So please try to spend some quality time togeter while you still can. And please rememember one thing Blood is ALWAYS thicker than Water
I would have loved to have had more time with my Grndfather before he died, but i didnt get that chance and now im regretting it. Don't make the same mistake i did.
2007-03-17 04:06:23 · answer #6 · answered by bermy_badgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like your mum is asking you to babysit him. I felt like you as a teenager when my grandmother (who had Alzheimers) came to stay. Now I'm a bit older I wish I had seen more of the positives - older people have some fantastic stories to tell, especially if they were around during WWII - and I miss my Grandma (she died when she was 89). Life is shorter than you think, try not to give your mum a hard time, try to work out a rota/compromise in which suits you both. All the best!
2007-03-17 01:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by Delerious? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your Mom is doing what she feels best. You need to realize when your Mom was a little girl your Grandpa provided and raised her. Now it is her time to pay that love back by taking care of him. You should get this time to get to know your grandpa, listen to his stories of when he was younger and I bet you learn alot. Life is short, and I think you are worried for no reason, your friends are still going to be your friends no matter what. If you lose your friends because of your Moms kindness then they really werent your friends. Friends stand beside you through thick and thin. Also nursing homes do cost alot of money, maybe he doesnt have that. But your Mom loves your grandpa that much she wants to take care of him. Quit thinking of yourself and think how much things are changing not only for you but for your Mom and Grandpa. If he was staying by hisself think how this has to be hard on him. He doesnt need you to be bitter and mad at him for changing your life. His has changed also and it has to be hard on him also. Get to know your Grandpa and quit thinking of yourself. If he is 86 he doesnt have alot of time left, and the time he does have should be comfortable and he needs to be surrounded by people who love him, not resent him.
2007-03-17 00:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine you being 86 years old and needing someone to take care of you. Would you like your grandchildren to say the same thing you've typed here? Your true and honest friends are the ones who would be proud of you for taking care of your grandpa.The rest are rubbishy friends and selfish like u.
2007-03-17 00:24:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom how you feel about your grandfather moving in. You live in the same house, you should have a say in things. Besides, it would be easier to get things out in the open with your mother than hating her because you're losing time for yourself.
2007-03-17 00:13:15 · answer #10 · answered by chessie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋