What age should your children stop seeing you naked?

Question

I am 27, my daughter is just gone four. When I shower I do so with the door open, and she regulary will come and chat to me when I dress or wash. My friend recently suggested that this inappropriate, as my daughter starts school in september, and I shouldn't let her see me naked. It never even occurred to me to cover myself up in front of her, my body made and gave birth to her, and bears the scars, my daughter knows that the marks on my stomach were caused by her growing in my tummy etc etc. I just don't want to do the wrong thing, but I just guess I always thought the day she goes 'ugh cover it up mum' would be the day I do, what did you do? Any advice?
By the way me and her father are seperated and she never see's him naked.

Can I stress that i do not intentionally take my clothes off in front of her. I shower and if she pops up to tell or ask me something she will pop her head around the curtain, ask me then run off to whatever she was doing. She certainly doesn't go out of her way to look or anything, though sometimes she likes to look at my stomach(when I'm dressed) and marvel at ever being in there.

I should also maybe point out I grew up motherless so have nothing to draw comparison with.

Answer 1

Hi! I think you should PRINT OUT all these answers & show them to your goofy friend who was really the one being inappropriate by having the audacity to say YOU are! Certainly if she says "ugh cover it up mum" then that's your cue. (Can't remember giving so many thumbs up!) Just do whatever you're both comfortable with.

Answer 2

Your friend is a prude. My daughter is 2 1/2 and we still bathe together. While I don't intend on getting in the bath with her forever I would never object to her sitting in the bathroom talking to me while I shower/bathe. God, I'm 27 and still pop into the loo to talk to my mum if I'm over and she's showering. What's the big deal. Your daughter may be starting school in September and the time will come where she has to take a communal shower after P.E or Games. Does your friend believe she should cover up then?

I'd rather my daughter grew up comfortable with her body than being a prude. Your daughter will let you know when it is no longer appropriate as she'll leave you to shower alone.

Answer 3

Maybe your friends are the weird one's. I've never heard of a mom a four year old girl demanding privacy, or even getting it. When my best friend comes over, we laugh at eachother because sometimes I forget to lock the bathroom door, and sometimes she forgets to. I'll be sitting on the toilet and my 2 and a half yr. old daughter, my best friends 3 and a half year old son, her 11 month old daughter, my poodle and basett hound all come barging in on me all at once, and they do it to my best friend too. If I do try and lock my daughter out, she pickes the lock with a coat hanger because she's seen me doing it when my bedroom door gets locked behind me. I'm more concerned that she know's how to pick a lock at 2 and a half, that I am about privacy and modesty. The other day, I was getting dressed, and ofcourse my daughter and the dogs have to be either right in front of me or right behind me. They think they have to be a part of everything. Anyways, I had to wear a thong becuase of the pants I was going to wear. My daughter say's, "Mommy, would you like me to help you get that out of your butt"? Although her lock picking and the need to help me with my thong sounds disfunctional, I highly doubt she's emotionally scarred. But, I've never been modest. I grew up on a lake. We shared front yards with people. Eventually they use your bathroom too, escpecially if your lake front. At some point in my early childhood, I saw a whole neighborhood naked. Although, I'm 28yrs old now, and that was back in the early eighties, and things may have changed since then. I am teaching my daughter how to nock now though, because some people are very private. But, there's no such thing as a functional home. Everyone parents different. I change my mind all the time on what I do because this is my first kid. Your daughter is to old to see a man naked probley, and men are the worst about locking doors behind them, and at that age they don't really have a lot of boundries yet. Just warn her dad, uncles, grandpa's, boyfriend, or whatever that they need to lock the door when they use the bathroom. She'll get the hint without making it an issue and making her feel like she's done something wrong. Buy the book Boundries. I forget the author, but I've heard it's a good book. I obviously haven't bought it yet. Everyone is going to tell you something different. And about her knowing she grew in your tummy and looking at your marks, I feel is totally normal. I have a deformed belly button from my pregancy. It was the biggest outy you ever saw, and didn't go back right. My daughter's always lifting up my shirt and poking at it. Kids are kids. I would rather my daughter see me naked than to have issues about nakedness. At four yrs old, I don't know. Each 4yr old is different. I think, from what you wrote, that you and your daughter have a healthy relationship. You're fine.

Answer 4

I find some of these answers really incredible. I think unless your daughter feels uncomfortable with it there is no need to cover up at all. Surely being confident about your naked body and not hiding it from your daughter gives her a really positive message about body image. the human body is not dirty or rude, it is natural. You have the right to be naked in your own home, its not like yu are parading around, just getting dressed, washed etc. Everybody has the right to there opinion but do not let anybody make you feel like you are doing anything wrong. It is personal choice, I remember sitting talking to my mum in the bath as teenager.

Answer 5

Ok, good question. I am 32 and I have 2 daughters that are 14 and 12. It seems like when i am trying to take a shower or maybe just sitting on the toilet, thats when my oldest daughter wants to come in and have a very long conversation with me. I never ask her to leave the room or neither do i try to keep myself covered up. Because at this age, her body is changing really fast, and boy does she have all kinds of questions for me to answer for her. I don't think that its wrong for our female daughters to see our body. Also, she just asks me about why my body looks the way it does, and if her body will look like mine. I think its a good way for young daughters to open up and talk with their mothers.

Answer 6

I agree with most other peoples answers my daughter often See's me in the shower or getting dressed/ undressed and she isn't bothered by it in the slightest, by covering up and never allowing your child to see nudity in a parent you are setting them up to be ashamed and embarrassed about something so very natural, I'm not saying we should all advertise our nudity but i think in the home in a very normal situation like the shower then I'm sorry some people need to CHILL OUT for pity's sake, i say ignore the idiots who are being prudish and continue doing what you are doing, like everyone says your daughter will let you know if and when she gets uncomfortable with the situation

Answer 7

My mum used to do this when I was young and it never affected me or my sisters, once I got to about 7/8 years old I stopped being comfortable being naked infront of her but it never bothered me if she was naked infront of me. She was with me when I gave birth to my daughter and I think that if she had always covered up when I was young then it would have been difficult for us both to have been together like that (me being naked and giving birth). Dont be ashamed of your body, your daughter wont judge and I think when she does want to stop seeing you naked then she wont go to the bathroom while you are naked in there or she will just come out with it and tell you!

Answer 8

I just visited my mother's house w/ my 2 sons (ages 5 & 11 months) and while there, regularly interrupted my mother's bath or shower to ask a question. Once, I sat on the floor of the bathroom while my 11 month old took a bath with my mother.

And we aren't nudists or naturalists. Just normal people.

However, I was sitting on my parents bed, and my Dad started changing... and I left the room. If children/people are uncomfortable with nudity, they'll either voice it, or get out of the room.

My 5 yr old still regularly interupts my shower (I wish he wouldn't, I just want to enjoy my shower, LOL!), but I have no problem with him seeing me naked. This is really just an individual comfort thing.

It's previously been suggested to me (by my son's well meaning step-mom) that if I continue to allow him to see me naked, he will never understand modesty, and that somethings are private, but I can assure you, he does. His closest friend, a girl, regularly spends the night, and my son will leave his room to go change, because "he wants privaaaaaacy." LOL

Answer 9

I am 22, I used to take baths and showers with my mom when I was little. Me and my mom will still change in front of each other now. i have a one year old daughter and will do the same with her as long as she is comfortable with it, and not too old.....I would say around 7 or 8.

Answer 10

She basically would not do not ignore that favor for privateness yet. you may clarify all you want, yet those emotions are overseas to her. no longer that you won't be able to save training her to knock first if a door is closed, yet she's no longer likely to understand why it bothers you. My guess is that she likely nevertheless would not care who sees her bare. My little ones are 2 (boy), 5 (lady), and six (lady). All my young ones nevertheless see me and my husband bare specifically circumstances, and they don't imagine that's a huge deal in any respect. like the others have suggested, i'm no longer walking around the homestead bare or some thing, yet in the journey that they walk in at the same time as i'm in the bathe, replacing clothing, or going to the bathroom, that's basically a non-issue. there are circumstances that I ask for a touch privateness, and they oftentimes leave me on my own for a couple of minutes without problem. i imagine at the same time as they start up feeling uncomfortable is at the same time as that's going to develop right into a controversy, possibly round age 6-8 for opposite-gender dad and mom/little ones? I see no clarification why similar-sex dad and mom/little ones couldn't proceed replacing clothing in the front of one yet another indefinitely. that's no diverse than replacing clothing in a locker room with different women human beings round. (i know a few human beings are not tender with that, yet there is easily no longer some thing *incorrect* with it.) I bear in options seeing my dad bare up until eventually likely age 5 or so, and that i'm easily no longer scarred by ability of it. It basically wasn't a huge deal, and in some unspecified time sooner or later, it ought to are starting to be awkward for one human beings, so he basically made particular to a minimum of have undies on if i replaced into entering right into a room. JMO...

Answer 11

If a boy I would say five or six, as a general societal thing.
A girl, though, maybe 6 or so isn't all that old. She will stop doing when she is uncomfortable probably, just as you are expecting.
I would guess no more than seven or so. About the time she doesn't what you to see her naked. That is the natural time, so to speak.

--That Cheeky Lad