Abused, what to do?

Question

I am a victim of abuse. I am also depresssed. My sister-in-law abused me when she just moved in with our family. She only lived with my family for a few months. I hardly knew her, and she didn't make any impression on my family (stayed in her room 24/7). She kicked me and she hit me on the head. While yelling at me, my brother (her husband) was verbally abusing me. And threatening to hit me saying things like "i useto be in a gang" and "i useto shoot at people." Like a total psycho. He even turned tables and pushed chairs over. He wouldn't leave me alone while i tried twalked away! I was so scared. Everyone who found out about this said what they did was wrong. I have forgiven them, but can't forget.

My sister-in-law wants a relationship with me now... She's manipulative...and didn't apologize for her actions. She blames it on her parents... I feel like this is unacceptable. Should I have her in my life? Why can't she just say sorry??

My brother has been in jail before, and he is the oldest sibling. I was forced to ask him for forgiveness, otherwise I couldn't use the computer to finish a 10 page english research paper. This whole abuse thing caused me a migraine headache which lasted hours and really stressed me out. I cried and cried.......I felt very lost and helpless. I'm glad they moved out of the house.

My older sister & other brother wants me to have a relationship with her and my abusive bro.... but I guess they just dont understand what I went through.

Yes, I told my parents. They didn't do anything about it which hurts me. I live in a dysfunctional family. My parents I feel, were never there for me. And they're both too busy working all the time, my whole life... I question their love for me and I have trust issues.

After what she did, she's actually NICE to me now. I guess she changed? However, she didn't own up to her actions.

Do I need counseling for all the abuse I went through?

Answer 1

You have a very sad situation. Where are your parents? It is their responsibility to protect you from people like your brother and his wife.

You should not have a relationship with this woman. Your contact with your brother should be minimal.

If she EVER hits you again, please call the police and report it. This is battery and is a felony. She will not be so eager to hit you when she finds out you can stand up for yourself and will prosecute her.

Your parents should be be told about all of this if they do not already know. They should have intervened.

Please don't let this happen again. Living like this would make anyone depressed.

Never be her friend. Tigers do not change their stripes. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

There is never any good excuse for abusing someone no matter what type of abuse..I was raised in an abusive home and never did I once abuse anyone or my family..Wrong is wrong..What I would love to know is where are your parents..They should always know what is goin on in their home and put a stop to this..Some people feel big or powerful when they can hurt others and those are the ones who really need help..Next time they hit,kick or abuse you then hun call the police..It is illegal to hit anyone and I am so very sorry you are going through this..Forgiving them is the right thing to do for we all do things we need to be forgiven for,,and no you wont easily forget it..Abuse is one thing that we always remember..But it can also make us stronger as we get older..We are more determined to never be abused again by anyone..Just make sure you follow your heart with any further contact..But if I were you I would surely find help to get past this for your peace of mind..I believe family should always be mended but your brother and his wife are the ones who need to really change for the better...If the parents wont do anything hun then the you will have to call the police for never ignore being abused..I will keep you and this matter in my prayers for I know what you are going thru..Stand up,,hold your head high and know you are doin the right thing for you...God bless you hun

Answer 3

Im so sorry honey.I know what its like to grow up in a nuthouse like that.Hang in there tho, GOD does love you and this homelife wont last forever.Pray for your family they need GOD.If they knew GOD and would live for hIm they wouldnt act like they do.HE has plans for your life.Prepare for your future as if you were going to live single or as a widow with kids for a while.The reason being is youll want to be able t to support yourself when you go to work one day and not have to depend on a man.Before you date a guy watch his life and see what kind of man he is.Is he a player? A druggie?An alcoholic?If so no dates for him.Your sister in law is the product of what her parents taught her to be.She has to realize she was still in the wrong and needs to change that the lifestyle her parents brought her up in is NO excuse to continue in the way she behaves.Tell your brother you forgive him.Dont say anything else, if he ever usues physical agression against you again, wait until you can get to a phone call the cops.Dont tell anyone until the cops show up then press charges.If the parents take their side ask if you can go into child protective services.Follow it thru.

Answer 4

Most of us are from dysfunctional family's and almost all of us have trust issues.

If I were you I would do what needs to be done to stay until I was 18, or what ever age is the legal age for you to move out and then I would leave and only talk to these people when I had to and if that was never then it would b never.

Answer 5

She can't tell you that she is sorry because she isn't. No, you should not have her in your life. You are only letting yourself in for more of the same. This time you will be responsible for letting yourself be victimized by this person because you know what she is capable of. Get counseling so that you can better understand people like her and your brother.

You should avoid the both of them. They only upset you, and you do not need their approval to make you happy.

Also do not let anyone push you into doing something that is not in your best interest. Since your parents are not going to be responsible for protecting you from your brother and sister-in-law, this burden falls on you to protect yourself.

Answer 6

Don't let anyone pressure you into associating with people who have previously abused you. And as soon as you can stand on your own two feet financially, move out and leave this whole toxic mess behind, including your parents. You're right - they don't love you, otherwise they would have supported you when you needed them to. Don't worry, as you go through life, you will find friends and companions who will give you the love and support your family never did.

Answer 7

I think you did the right thing to forgive them. That is first and foremost. As far as having a relationship with her, you could do that too, but with a long handled spoon, a Hi, and Bye type relationship. She is married to your brother, not your Dad. If you know she is manipulative, follow your gut feeling and keep her at distance. You cant get hurt if you do this.

Answer 8

If she's this messed up then she probably needs a friend. It's just your decision if you think you can be it or not. You guys probably wouldn't become the best of friends but just someone for her to talk to. Remember that she is human and makes mistakes and throws fits. She may be a little more violent than most people but her feelings are the same as your's.

Answer 9

Listen to your gut. Stay away from her. You don't need her, even if she thinks she needs you. Could you believe her even if she did say she's sorry? Maybe someday she will earn your trust back. But if you feel her actions are unacceptable, now isn't the time to try another relationship. Listen to your gut.

Answer 10

To me psychological abuse is worse than actual abuse.With actual abuse yours injury's are healed in a short volume of time,yet regrettably with psychological abuse your injury's can some years to heal.