i'm not sure i'm pregnant yet (please look at my other question also) but if i am how do i tell my babby's daddy or do i tell him? we broke up before i suspected i was pregnant we didn't even really break up the last thing he said to me was bye baby i'll call you at 5 that was 3 weeks ago and he has moved about 200 mi. away i know his sis who lives close to him so i could get in contact w/ him if i needed to. he already has 1 kid that he doesn't ever see & he told me it bothers him i know he loves kids but i can't trust him b/c if we got back together i'd always be wondering hmm is he gonna come back or is it gonna be over just like the 1st time? please give me some advice. THANKS A BUNCH!
2007-03-16 11:14:05 · 15 answers · asked by carrol d 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
he doesn't see his other child b/c of her mother. if i am pregnant abortion or adoption are totally out of the qquestion not even options in my eyes if i am pregnant i'll pour kerosine on evrything i love and watch it burn my baby and what is best for him or her will be my first and most important priority.
2007-03-17 03:58:02 · update #1
You need to be 100% sure first I really do mean that.
And second he does have the right to know, so make sure you tell him IF you are 100% sure first. If you mentioned it to him before you where 100% sure it might seem like you are trying to force you guys back together, which I'm sure you don't want it to look that way.
Make sure you tell him he has a choose wether he wants to be part of the child’s life and that he doesn't have to be your partner to do it. Because as people have been saying, if you are going to have a child you guys have to focus more on being parents than being partners.
And on a final note maybe if you haven't already, try and find out why he decided to run away like that. Ask his sister if you have to. He might be depressed with his current life or something else. And you guys should make sure you have cleared things out between you guys. Especially if both of your want to be both good parents, because if you guys are constantly fighting or avoiding each other it will affect the child. Try and be friends, at the most and don't hope for any more as there might have been a reason he ran away in the first place.
2007-03-16 11:50:09 · answer #1 · answered by RoseLily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that he does not sound like the kind of man I would want to be with or marry, regardless of the baby issue. He's got no decency if he already has a kid he ignores, that's not admirable. So, that said, if you are pregnant, just find out his address and send a registered receipt signature required letter (post office can help with this) telling him that while you no longer desire to get back together, you wanted him to know that you are pregnant, the child is his if he is interested in having a relationship with his kid, here is your contact info.
You can't force him to be a Daddy, and if your child will not have a decent MAN in his/her life, perhaps you have a male relative that can be involved so that your child has a good example of how a MAN should be.
Good Luck.
2007-03-16 12:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should take a pregnancy test to find out if you are pregnant. If you are not, then there is no issue. If you are pregnant, you should tell him. Even if you do not want him in the baby's life or in your life, you should at least tell him that he has a child. You do not have to get back together with him just because you have a child together. And if it turns out that you are pregnant, you are entitled to child support. I think it would be very wise to tell him that he has a kid on the way (if the pregnancy test turns out positive). Good Luck!
2007-03-16 12:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by been there 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you know for sure...
If you are, then yes he has the right to know he has a child on the way... this doesn't mean that the 2 of you have to be involved romantically.. it just mean's that the 2 of you have a child together.. and must work together for that child!
Every child has the right to have both parent's.. not necessarily living in the same house..but working together to make their life everything it could be.
2007-03-16 11:25:29 · answer #4 · answered by gin_in_mi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait to see if you are pregnant first. Then tell him that you're really happy because you've made a baby together! And if he doesn't want the child, then you'll be a wonderful mother yourself! I'm a single parent and things just seem to work out one way or another.
2007-03-16 11:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by Bud's Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he really doesn't care about kids if he has one kid and doesn't see it or do anything to take care of it. And it sounds the same for you as well. I'd put the baby up for adoption and give that baby a chance to be loved and cared for by a loving couple. Then find someone decent who will love and stick by you and whatever children you decide to have. Your time for a baby sounds like it's in the future. Not now. And not with him. Good luck.
2007-03-16 14:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off wait til you know for sure, and you must tell him, he has the right to know but do not expect anything, because you will set yourself up for a fall, and do not base a relationship on a child that's not fair to the child, if it didn't work out a child will not change that, you can be good parents apart, if you cannot trust him that's a big red flag, do not go back go forward, if you are pregnant you are a mom and must put the child first not yourself, sounds like you need to work on a relationship as parents not partners
2007-03-16 11:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by melissa s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you should tell him when you are 100% sure, then go from there if he wants to see the child i would let him but dont let him be in the childs life one minute then out the next then try to get back in and so on. thats bad. and about that other situation about gettin back with him you need to trust your heart soul brain and gut for all of that. think really hard about that and be very careful. take care sweetie
2007-03-16 12:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♫§weetTart§amantha♫♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys r ***** your kinda damned if u do and damned if u don't. IF u do tell him which id probably want to know if i was in the situation. but with him being 200m away u never know what he'll do
must guys theory is out of sight out of mind. that sucks for u. but u never know. if u r prego than start askin yourself questions. am i ready to support another human alone? assuming that poppa stays 200m away. am i done with school?
nothing is wrong adoption they have ways your baby can stay in the same town close to u watch baby grow in a family that can better support if that's the case.
How to tell him: remember that time i told u to pull out. but u didn't........
2007-03-16 12:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything to him until you know for sure if you are or not. If you are then you should tell him. He does have that right but let him know that he doesn't have to be involved in the baby's life but give him the option to if he wants too.
2007-03-16 11:21:09 · answer #10 · answered by wicca_alison 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋