Why do people have such a hard time about dealing with the death or loss of a loved one, or a family member?

Question

Sometimes you see people that are cold or aloof and they shut themselves down after someone close to them dies.
Most often though when someone close to you dies, after the initial mourning phase, people rarely talk about their loved one with their feelings. They may talk about stories of what they did when they were alive. --BUT rarely do people express their true feelings!!
WHY IS THAT? Has society caused us to shut down our feelings and emotions? When we are raising a child if they get hurt or lose a pet, they will cry and we tell them to stop crying. I think this is wrong and we should be able to let them know to properly express their feelings as opposed to being forced to shut down and keep your feelings stifled and bottled up inside of them. I think we should be able, and ok to, as grown adults, to have a good cry if we are feeling emotional about the loss of a loved one or for what ever reason.
>What do you think?

Answer 1

Let's see. SOmeone who I care for and love has passed away and I will never see them again.

I don;t know what kind of family you come from, but the passing of most people is a time of sorrow

Answer 2

Having considerable experience in the area, I feel confident in answering your question by saying that it depends a lot on who the loss is and what part they play in your life.
My most devastating loss was that on my two month old baby boy. My heart completely broke into to pieces and it physically felt like part of my body had been ripped away. For me there has been no deeper love than my love for my children and to have that child die in a moment, when you had the whole future to look forward to loving them is beyond description.
Loosing my mother was painful for more selfish reasons, because, nobody loves you like your mother, and I feel very alone in the world without her.
Loosing my ex husband/the love of my life has also been very painful, he did not die, but we will never be together again. I will never feel as close to a man again, he was my best friend and lover. Meeting and loving someone like him is a once, if ever, thing in a lifetime and knowing that you will never feel that way again, is very hard to take.

Love makes life wonderful and loosing it makes it unbearably painful. Only love can brake your heart, and only love can heal it.

Answer 3

Because they find it difficult to cope with the loss of the loved one. For some, it's like their world has ended, part of their own life has disappeared, there's something missing from their life, it's very difficult to explain, even when you been through the situation.

The grieving process can take up to two years or more to go through, it's not easy, especially when the death is sudden, but missing someone for the rest of your life is very hard to bare, yes it does become easier as time passes, but your love for that person will never fade, something will always remind you of them , a tinge of sadness will always be close by.

Answer 4

Because they helped create the person we are now. We lookback and see what we would be like if we had never met them and we realize that they played a bigger role in our lives then we knew. We don't ever realize how much we love someone until they're gone. It feels as if you're empty inside because you are so use to giving your love to them and they are not there anymore and it confusses you and you think, they were the only person I could be like this with who is gonna repplace them, and then you realize, no one can cuz they were too special to replace.It's sad but eventually we all have to go through this. I miss him.=[

Answer 5

Memories. . . The knowledge that you will never, ever see the person you love again. It's knowing that when you want to talk to them, you can't because they're gone. I lost two people I loved dearly back in '04. It's hard to look at the pictures knowing that they're all that's left of them. It's hard to look at all the places they were sitting or standing and know they'll never be there again. Try listening to "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross or "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera. Maybe that'll shed some light on it for you.

Answer 6

For me it's because I miss talking to my dad and going fishing with him. I miss just knowing if I felt like dropping by his house he would have hot coffee and a story to tell. I hate the fact that he died before we knew I was having a boy and that he is named after him and that my daughter who was only 1 1/2 when he died, will never get to know what a great human being their grandpa was and that he'll never get to teach them how to fish and camp the way he did with me. The list is endless.
I just miss him - Everyday.

I do believe in an afterlife. I tell myself he is happy wherever he is, and he's keeping an eye on us, but it's just not the same here on Earth without him. There is a huge void in my life that wasn't there until he was gone.

Answer 7

we recently lost a good family friend and i still cant believe it this was like in October that he past away. The reason is because they have known them their whole life, almost everday in some situations, they've always loved them and saw them but now that they're gone it's like whoa what happend why did they go and it's really hard to get used to it cuz they're not in sight any more. They are special and irreplaceable.

Answer 8

Hello,i do believe that death comes without our knoledge.If you happen to lose a loved one ,it's that hard to over come our own grieve.When you love someone in life,it's that reality of not seeing them again makes it more harder for us to accept death.The attachments that we have with loved ones is not like what we have with friends.It's abond that ties us even in death.That's why we have anniversaries coz what we used to share is still there and we can't just make go away.It's hard to deal with death than any other thing.We only know what we lose after it's gone.

Answer 9

I deal okay with death of family members/loved ones if they have reached an old age and/or I know they feel they have lived a full life - or full enough. But I lost my bro when he was 18 - it's hard to deal with not having someone there who was always tehre for you. it's hard to wait up some nights out of habit expecting him to come home, then remembering what happened and realizing and forcing yourself to admit that he wont' be coming home........

Answer 10

because of emotion and feeling to a person. if you love a person you only will sad for them. and when they not around with you will miss them. this make you sad cause you miss them. if that person is very close to you, even you will have many memories with them. but dont worry, time will make things going on and make it better. sometime we should learn to let it be then we will feel better with it. close your eyes and think widely, there is a lot of thing to worry about.