What can I do? My parent aren't serious!?

Question

The problem is that my parents are never serious! Whenever I try to talk to them about a serious problem, they just laugh and joke about what I say. I know that maybe they are scared of facing some subjects and this is their way of avoiding this subject, but this must end someday! I mean, they can't avoid a problem for the rest of their lives! So can you please tell me how can I make them to just sit and talk about serious subjects? Without avoiding? Because believe me, I tried! If I easily start talking about a subject like this and try to get it into our discussion, they just ignore it. If I actually start talking about it, I told you, they laugh and joke about this. And if I still insist on the subject, they just leave the room or the house... Actually my dad does this more often... leaving the room... my mom just gets annoyed.
So how can I change them? I need your help!

I can't show them these answers... They don't understand English... We're from Romania.

And, no... you didn't understand.. I can't just talk to another adult, livinintheword, because some subjects are related exactly to them. To their life.

Ok, ok! I see you don't understand what I meant by talking to them, so I'll tell you everything... well... almost, anyway. I want to ask them about something that happened in their past, and they don't want to tell me everything. They try to avoid this discussion, even if it's related to me, and I have all the right to know everything about it. Do you understand a bit more now?

Answer 1

If it is something from THEIR past then it is up to THEM to tell you, or not. If it is something involving you, as you say, they may be waiting for the right time to talk to you about it. The fact that you seem to be persistant or nagging is just showing them that you are not mature enough to be told.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like they disagree strongly about what you believe or what you are telling them. They don't want to have an argument with you about it. Do you really want that show-down that they are avoiding? They may be severely disappointed and trying to protect themselves - are you discussing with them that you are gay, broke, drug-addicted, unable to stay in school, living with your boyfriend, pregnant, converting to another religion, cutting yourself, infected with an STD, abused by your boyfriend, struggling with alcoholism?
All of these things are crushing disappointments to a parent and no one wants to be told these things.
Yes, your parents are adults and you should go to them. That doesn't mean that they aren't people, too! First, think about what you are telling them. Are you asking them or telling them? If you are asking them about something, then listen to the answer - even if they laugh about it, there is an answer there.
You don't say what age you are but whatever age they are, they have been with you 24/7 from the time the only thing that disgusted them was poopy diapers! They loved you for years and love you still - that is why it is so easy to hurt them.
Let me tell you something important: they would be happy if all they knew is that you are safe, earning a living, in a heterosexual relationship, married and saving your money with a future and a family ahead of you.
All the things I mentioned mean that they will never see that.
What I described sounds boring but after all the crap that comes with the problems I listed, a parent is happy with the very little bit I described. Sure, there are some parents out there who absolutely demand that their child be a world-class surgeon or make a million bucks - but they are delusional with their expectations - and more than a little bit spoiled themselves and self-indulgent.
A parent at some point is thankful that the child they raised doesn't end up in jail, just for making stupid choices!

Answer 3

If your a girl the best way to get there attention and QUICK is to say mom dad real loud in a panic voice and when they look at you say i am pregnant, when you know then they are looking at you say are you worried and when they say yes that is when you say GOOD now if you listen and talk to me serious then maybe next time I don't have to scare the hell out of you. I am not pregnant but something is really bothering me and if you don't talk to me seriously with out the jokes and leaving the room and answer my questions honestly I am moving out and never coming back here. Your daughter will be dead to you. I AM NOT JOKING EITHER. Finish with that last phrase. You will scare them if you are straight to the point no joking or laughing act like you are pissed and fed up with it. I have a 13 year old daughter and she will do stuff like this to me just to get my attention and it works. If your a boy you can still do it the same. JUST BE STRICT AND TO THE POINT. email me and let me know if this works if not I will talk with you more and my daughter can give you some pointers. [e-mail] (Nancy & Shelby)

Answer 4

Many people who feel embarressed to talk hide behind humour.
What they probaly dont realise is that this can come across as disrespectful when you are trying to be open with them.
Maybe you could say to them that you realise that they deal with things in humour amoungst themselves but that you find it off-putting.Tell them that you respect them and therefore want to feel able to talk openly with them but dont know that you can if they continue to joke all the time.
It may be that they are trying to be lighthearted to make you feel at ease,so explain to them that for you that does not work and you would prefer them to just listen and talk.
You are clearly very mature and have a good outlook and attitude so your parents must have done some good bringing you up.I'm sure in time they will learn how to talk to you on a level you feel comfortable with.good luck

Answer 5

OK, a lot of people have difficulty talking about certain things, especially when it comes to personnel things. Lot of subjects were taboo in the family. , When I grew up as a little girl I would go to visit my aunt Mae, when she died, I found out she really was my step sister. I still can't believe that no one told me about it. But that's the way they were. I would say maybe if you wrote it all down in a letter and sent it to them,Then they would read it. Hoping you write Romanian.Or maybe if your close to a family member, you can ask them.

Answer 6

I would try writing to them. Writing is very therapeutic. You can get your point across nicely and thoroughly without any interruptions. Whether they respond or not, you still will feel better for writing. Be sure and let them know that you're happy they have such a good sense of humor and that you love them, but you want to share some things that are more serious to you and you would like their input. Maybe, they will be able to write you back..or respond more appropriately after reading your letter. Good luck...

Answer 7

I am guessing that they are uncomfortable answering or they don't know how to answer and 'making light of the situation' is just easier than getting serious. It is ok to find other adults to talk with, we have youth group kids come to our home all the time to talk about deep issues in their lives, and I think that some people just do not know how to discuss 'hard' issues....

Answer 8

If you can't get your point across verbally than write a letter to your parents addressing your points and set a date and time when you and your parents can sit down and talk about it.

If this don't work write them another letter. Don't give up on your parents, would your parents give up on you?

Communication is very important and let your parents know this so than can take you more serious.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

Well I would try yelling at them to make them understand. That maybe harsh I know but that's one way for someone to understand. If that doesn't work then I would talk to kids help line. They are professional councillers.

Answer 10

Laughing and joking is a classic defensive gesture. I think your right.,thier scared. You can't change them. Keep approching them in a adult manner. Tell them this is important and you would like to schedule a time to talk.