how do you not feel bitter and angry about what youve been through in your life?

Question

also what do you do if its turning you into a person you dont want to be? im waiting for therapy, ive been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. im 29 now ive had a horrendous time since 15. ive been in a psychiatric hospital for 18 months, been bullied throughout secondary school. been attacked by gangs in the street. i feel all this has tainted my life. the way people see me. i feel no ones gonna want to know me now. i dont have any friends, never had a girlfriend. im socially isolated. alot of people no about me. i have alot of baggage in my life. i feel angry and bitter about it..whos gonna wanna come into my life? be a part of it? i dont wanna be palmed off with some ugly old slapper cos thats all thats available to me. i would like someone nice in my life. an attractive girl. but how can i get that?, whos gonna want to be with me when all this has happened. i have torn ankle ligament. 2 missing teeth at the bottow front row.. what will i do? am i finished? im physically

aging to. ageing bitter person

Answer 1

I did feel sorry for you and want to help until I read
i dont wanna be palmed off with some ugly old slapper cos thats all thats available to me. i would like someone nice in my life. an attractive girl. but how can i get that
maybe you are in this situation because you yourself are too judgemental GROW UP AND STOP CALLING WOMAN UGLY OLD SLAPPERS AND EVEN AS YOU SAY THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES AVALIABLE TO YOU WHY WOULD THEY WANT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

The answer is that you don't let life make you bitter & angry. Life can be hard & some people have harder lives than others. Some people would say I've had a terrible life. I was violently sexually & mentally abused by my step father from the age of 4, sent to a psychiatric hospital aged 12 when I had a break down, all I've only ever known abuse & violence & fear, but I removed myself from that situation & have healed by doing a lot of work on myself. I read lots of self help books, had hypnotherapy & counselling. I have spent years improving myself to get to this stage of wellness, there is no point in being angry as you will only harm yourself. The past is the past. I have made a new life for myself now, a happy one. You can't let experiences ruin you or use them as excuses for doing bad things. Learn from them & move on. Perhaps you will meet a nice girl when you have sorted yourself out, but at the moment with your negative attitude you will only attract more negative situations to you. Good luck, I know life isn't easy.

Answer 3

you do not have to be a VICTIM of circumstance.... very few of us have had a picture perfect life.... look at who you are right now... make a list of the things you like about your self and a list of things you don't....make an effort to change those things that you don't like, and expound on the things that you do like.... Everyone has problems....it's how they choose to handle them that usually makes the difference.... There is nothing wrong with seeking out professional help, at least the professionals sort of know what they're doing....... As for the baggage lighten the load....let go of that which you are unable to change anyway.....Find a way to get your teeth fixed there are some pretty good dentists out there. I don't know about the torn ligament..... with the proper treatment I'm sure that it could probably be somewhat repaired..... I told my daughter once that I wish that I would have had a better, happier upbringing......and she told me that if any one thing would have been different in my life then I wouldn't be the person I am today.....Happy, Strong, Opinionated, Loving, and Very much Loved..... Look to the positives in your life and nurture them, but remember even the negatives from your past have a place in shaping who you will become....take charge of your present and achieve your goals..... the future is yet unwritten so there is always HOPE....

Answer 4

Sorry to reply with something that on the first read will sound really negative but, read again, it isn't really.
You sound like you are trapped in your own past. I'm 33 so around your age, there have been crap things that have happened to me thoughout my life, the trick is to use the experience and build on it rather than letting it rule you. What do you acheive by remaining bitter, will you ever get a satifying result or has the moment passed? Wasting time going over things you can't change will only hold you back and stop you enjoying anything good that might come your way. You may find the source of your problems is you and not the rest of the world.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that you are going through this.I cannot tell you how not to be bitter but i can say that for evryday that you/we are alive we are very lucky.I can understand some of what you are going through and i believe that therapy will help.Its not so much what happens but how we react to it.All of us have different life experiences and develop different coping strategies as a result and if you have only had bad experiences you cannot help but feel negative about life.For every negative thing that happens try to think of one positive,try to think of things that will change the way you feel, things that will lift your mood, e.g being sat on the beach sipping your fav drink,being attacked is not easy to overcome and probably left you feeling helpless which leads to anger.Try to think of anger as something that destroys the soul ,something that is interfering with your happiness, you deserve to be happy, like everyone else.

Once you feel happy within yourself you will show confidence and there is nothing more attractive for a woman than a man with confidence.

If you are really worried about your appearance, book an appointmant with your dentist, see your doctor for physio, i know the list is long but it's worth it in the end and if you really can't wait there are some really helpful sights that will give you tips on how to stregthen your ankle but make sure you get that physio

I wish you all the best , you can definately do this !

Answer 6

Yes you've been through lots but realise that so have others. Our past life does shape us but it doesn't have to control our future. What's gone before is exactly that - it's gone. You have the ability to determine which way your life goes, but whilst you're using past experiences as a possible reason for current situation you will never move on. I appreciate it is difficult but it is not impossible. As for your comment " i don't wanna be palmed off with some ugly old slapper" - that attitude is never going to get you anywhere in life. It really is less important the way a person looks on the outside, what is important is whether you care about them and they care about you. Too many people get hung up on looks and it causes oh so many problems. As for physical problems - a torn ankle ligament can be dealt with, and missing teeth can be replaced.

Answer 7

I feel for you.

I've been in a similar position to you. My life literally fell apart and I felt angry about everything.
I, too received a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and I'm here to tell you it's not the end of the world. Pyschiatrists have a tick box thing they use to diagnose and if you do not fit into any of the other boxes, they give you a diagnosis of Borderline because they do nto know what to do with you.
I was told that I was incurable. My condition could apparently be managed but it would never be beaten. Then someone walked into my life and told me otherwise. My therapist has been wonderful and in a very short time, she turned my life around.
Let me tell you, right now, You are NOT your condition. No matter what your diagnosis is, there is a very real person there completely separate from the condition that you have been diagnosed with. It can be beaten and it does take a walk of faith to achieve that.
If you are living in the UK, This organisation may be of assistance to you.
http://www.counselling.ltd.uk/
The have a database of counsellors and therapist across the country who are willing to offer free therapy to people on specific benefits. If you are not on those specific benefits, they know of therapist who may offer therapy at reduced rates.
In the UK, this organisation may be able to actually provide you with the therapy. They also have therapists in other countries.
http://www.humangivens.com/register/
In the US, I'm not sure how the system works, but rest assured, you can beat this and if you can take that leap of faith, you will.
Just remember you are not your condition and you can win.

Answer 8

Sounds like your like a lot of us, you've had one bitter, twisted life so far which has not been helpful in your way of thinking. I took a look at your profile and you answer some deep questions here. Your obviously a deep person like myself. I too have had one messed up life so far (I'm 31 now ) and everything I did just seemed to be the wrong thing. When something did go right for me, two things would go wrong straight after to bring me right back down. I have the emotional and physical scars to prove it. I've moved countries but that didn't work. So one day I decided enough was enough and decided I'd had enough of this ****. So I went to college, got a degree and started working. I reckon if I didn't have something to do I would crack up. I've had friends who have, and like yourself were in a psychiatric hospital for some months. So I've learnt from them. One thing that I did learn growing up is that, before I thought I was the only one who had these problems but you know what I wasn't and neither are you. Your not finished unless you want to fail in this life and if your like me you shouldn't give the world the satisfaction. Stay here and prove everyone and everything that your NOT going !!!!!

Answer 9

Oh please don't talk like this , all I can say is make your self strong, and forget about the past its about improving one elf no matter how bad, life can get, I have had , not just once but many times , ups and downs of life, it happens to every one, and me too not a good school experience , I gave up I carried on , and I;m now , have achieved , quite alot and feel very pleased with myslef, you just got to believe in your self , and do things you want , you can get a voluntary work , go to an education , that will make you feel apprecaited , and you could get to know some nicw girls too, I've seen really pretty girls, with such awful guys , really ugly , what are you on about , don't ever and believe me ever put your self dwon, you never know what s there in the future, so I have been happy in life done education, I aint got a bloke, and I'm really pretty, I'm just really happy with what I've got , you are yourself your not finished , you can do anything you want you just and must believe in that , so go out there today , and make your life , and things will it self , key is to be happy , theres no difference what me , other can do , you can do too, your human like the rest of us you , have a life , so use it , and be it , like the rest of us , they are alot more worse things out there in this world , good luck to you , I hope things will be fine , and the doors open for you .

Answer 10

If you choose to be bitter and twisted about what has happened in your life then that is up to you. Is that going to be your excuse for not excelling in your life? You can either sit there and ***** about what has gone on before and how bad you feel or you can make preparations to make your life better.

If you feel you're in a hole in your life then I'd suggest you stop digging to get yourself deeper and start trying to find a way out. Whatever negative thoughts you have you need to make them work for you to get you where you need to be.

Whatever voices that are in your head that tell you that you'll never be anyone or anything or that you'll never be liked or loved don't listen to them. They're all lies.

Invest in yourself (emotionally and educationally) and the rest of your life will fall into place.