My fiance and I have been together for several years living in the same household. We have everything that we need, and do not need new toasters, or towels, or anything of the sort. We want to include in the invitations that we want gifts of money towards the down payment of a new house. How do you mention this, if it is indeed okay to mention this. I have been reading up on it, and it says that it is tacky to ask for money. But I have found some cute poems.. Please give me your advice as to whether we should include this in our invitation, or not, and whether you personally would be offended if this was sent to you in an invitation asking for a monetary gift. Thanks a lot! Here are a couple of examples:
If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards a new house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way
2007-03-09 23:13:34 · 22 answers · asked by Jeni W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!
Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.
We are sending out this invitation,
And hope you will join our celebration.
If to send a gift is your intention,
In modesty we would like to mention,
We have already got a kettle and a toaster,
Crockery, dinner mats and coasters
So rather than something we have already got,
Please give us money for our saving pot.
But, most importantly, we request,
That you turn up as our wedding guest!
2007-03-09 23:19:15 · update #1
Traditional and wedding are words that evoke huge responses when paired together. Don't sweat the small stuff there is plenty of other things to worry about.
The poems are cute and perhaps polite ways to make the suggestion. You might discuss with your bank setting up a fund account for people to 'donate' to. It's done all the time for horribly tragic things...why not this?
It provides a level of anonymity...they aren't sending 'you' cash. One of the reasons it's perhaps considered impolite is with any other gift, you don't really know what they did to get it and it doesn't matter...with cash it's just more direct.
Be tactful and polite. A statement along the lines of "We deeply appreciate inquires about gift registries, but between ourselves we have all those things we need, now if we only had a place to put them. In lieu of a gift donations may be made to the Couple-Wedding Fund at Bank"
Some folks are gonna say that's tacky...so be it...
2007-03-09 23:32:03 · answer #1 · answered by Clif S 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's a tough one. I agree with the person who said that you might want to have someone else send out the word. Perhaps, your parents can tell their friends and you can ask the wedding party to spread the word to your friends? Also, you could consider doing a money dance during the wedding. I've always thought that was a non-tacky way to get some extra spending money. I also had a friend who registered at a place with liberal returns policies. Thus, she was able to return many of the gifts that she didn't like. My final idea would be to put comments on your wedding website. A lot of guests will go there to check out the registry... so if you had an explanation on there as to why you were not registered (i.e. saving for a house), I don't think it would be too tacky.
2007-03-09 23:38:07 · answer #2 · answered by Laura M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We faced the same problem, except we already had everything and then some. After many suggestions we finaly decided to have a money tree and a dollar dance. we included a little card in our invitations. All it said was that we had combined families and that we were not registering for gifts. Then there was a tiny house with a tree beside it . Underneath that it said money tree will be available if you would like to contribute to our home fund. It turned out really cute and everyone seemed releived not to have to shop for someone elses china!!! You can buy and actual money tree wherever you get your wedding supplies. Its a tiny tree that has little clips were the leaves are and people either clip the bill to it or we provided little envelopes and a pen if they wanted to leave a name and a note. The kids had a blast collecting change to "plant" the tree and it kept them busy for most of the night!!! Then, we had a dollar dance werethe bride and groom get paid a dollar for a dance and if you want to have fun with it the payer can place it in your garter or wherever and the same with the groom depending on how your family would respond. We found that people would rather give you what you really need and word of mouth when the "why's" were asked was that we were buying our home. Most family and friends would rather ouwn abrick in your home that buy you a plate you might hate!!! Hope this helps. I wouldnt straight out ask for help with a downpayment and I wouldnt include the phone number and stuff. If someone really wants to buy you towels they can. And wont feel obligated to buy a gift and leave money too.
2016-03-28 22:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you send your guests shoud EVER request gifts. It implies that the guft is more important than the persons company. wedding registeries should not be included on anything except shower invites. Asking for cash directly (even in a cute little poem) is tacky and bad etiquette. Instead. make sure your shower host, and bridal party know what you would like and can pass on the word. Of course if your asked directly, a response like "Well we'd really like to find a larger home soon so anything to help with that would be lovely" This opens the doors for money as well as new house items.
Also, why not register for "upgrades" of the items you do have. A cool new blender, 800 thread count sheets, that coffee table you've been dying to have, whatever.
2007-03-10 06:11:43 · answer #4 · answered by DanielleNichole 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know, you really just cannot. Poems just don't cut it. If you REALLY don't want ANY gifts, that can be said. However, NOT if you just want money. People invited to a wedding are not required to bring gifts, but most do to help the new couple out with furnishing and filling a home. It is not their job or obligation to give money towards your home - that is the obligation of you and your guy to save toward.
Girls often ask this on this site, and the same answers are given over and over....
2007-03-10 07:12:10 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As much as I know you want to get the word out to your guests, it just isn't done. Your guests are invited to your wedding so that you can celebrate with the people you love. They are not required to bring you anything ... just like you are not required to give favors. It is a nice gesture but don't be shocked if some guests come with nothing. If you really don't want actual gifts, then you CAN put a note at the bottom stating gifts are not necessary ... chances are you're more likely to get money that way.
2007-03-11 13:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is tacky and rude to ask your guests for anything besides their time in the attendance of your wedding. Gifts are not required to attend weddings. You getting married is not a reason to shake down your guests.
When people ask for money in the invitations I don't give them anything (okay, I'll give a card) and when they include a little card to tell me where they registered I never buy them anything they asked for. It is my own personal rebellion and teaching technique.
Look, it is really simple to get money. Leave your guests no other options. Don't register anywhere, and when people ask the wedding party or other people who would be in the "know" let them have instructions on money gifts. Sure you'll probably still end up with some gifts, but who couldn't use just one more set of towels.
2007-03-10 01:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Those poems are tacky and poorly written. Here's what ya do: include a money envelope with the invitation and on the indside suggest the amount they should give.
Then at the reception, open the envelopes and announce how much everybody gave.
Seriously? I think just a nicely worded note that you are requesting no gifts as you have everything you need in your current home is enough to give people the hint without actually asking for money. Then have a place where they can put cards when they get to the reception.
2007-03-09 23:32:07 · answer #8 · answered by yip yip yip 6 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Hey there, congrats! My husband and I were the same, we had everything we needed. However, you just CAN NOT ask for cash... it's really tacky and insulting. All we did was not register anywhere, and leave it up to them to get the hint! It worked for us (we were just married 1/1/07), but even if it didnt, it didnt matter. All that really matters is that the people are there to show you their loe and support. Best of luck!
2007-03-10 09:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think its inappropriate to ask for money. The majority of your guests will give you money anyway. Plus, the poem you wrote was cute, but too long for an invitation.
2007-03-09 23:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by Level Headed, I hope 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋