My boyfriend left me and told me at the end of the month he'd let me know if we were still together, help?

Question

So ive been with my boyfriend for a year now, Hes 25 and im 23..things couldnt be more perfect for the first couple of months. I was certain around month 4 i wanted to be with this guy for a long term relationship.Things were too good to be true til one day i felt him lying through his teeth. I had a pain in my tummy, and knew he was up to something. He was seeing his ex behind my back for 4 months..i stuck it out and wanted it to work. Two months after that he moves in with me, things are great! My mum and i have arguments and he says he cant deal with my MAD family and hated coming home from work hearing it. So a week ago, he left me..1 short phone call saying he was moving out, and me and him were on a break and that i should blame my mum. He told me he needed to sort his head out and he'd let me know at the end of the month where we stand, whether were single or together...im tired of crying, throwing up, not feeling hungry. I cant stop texting him..i need help...im falling apart.

Answer 1

I know how you feel, been there so many times before.. the feeling of restlessness is so hard to bare. But i think some space between the two of you would be great. Give him some space to sort things out. If he comes back you know you've got the right guy.

Being with a person for the long term, means it'd involve both you, him, your family and his family as well, so if he can't deal with being invovle with your family now, and isn't trying harder, maybe he's not worth it. In the end of it all family is a much higher priority. So dont blame your mum about his absence.

when i was 23 I was with a guy who couldn't deal with my family, he made me choose between family or him, at one particular point i picked him, but just before i was planning to leave with him, i had to make sure he was the one and he was true. And guess what? on the very same day, I found out he was about to cheat on me :) We had been together for nearly 4 years then, and were planning to get married 2 years later. Even though things could seem like it'd be the best thing that ever happened at this instance, believe me, i was glad i ended it straight away with him. We still both love each other, but in the end of it all, we just gotta know that, we have found a person that we can trust and be there for us in whatever condition that we have to face. if he needs space to figure it out then give him some space, it's about his life and future too. but If he runs away instead of facing it, i think God had better plans for you than being with him.

I think personally don't believe in "too good to be true", there is always some catch behind it all. Just be strong, Hang in There. Have faith in God that whatever happens it happens for the best. If it really has to end, Just believe, there is a better person for you out there.

Always prepare for the worst, and watever good things that happens to you are just a bonus. So be grateful in whatever happens. Everything has it's purpose. Wat you are feeling right now, will make change you as a person, preparing you for that perfect person, you'd be spending the rest of your life with.

I loved this quote from a movie "my best friend's wedding" or something, if i wasn't wrong it goes something like this... "if it doesnt kill you, it'd only make you stronger" n "remember behind the thickest dark clouds, the sun is still shining bright" :)

Be strong, Live your life to the fullest, ever second you spend being in pain, you could not gain that second back. Life is short spend it wisely.

Good Luck

Answer 2

You're on a break. Probably a break-up and he didn't have the to tell you. Stop texting him, dry your tears and start going out with friends.

IF he contacts you at the end of the month, you have to decide if you want such a gutless creep. Personally, I'm hoping you find he wasn't that great a boyfriend, and you can do much better.

Chances are he is back with his ex, and just wants to see where that goes before he decides if he wants to keep you on the side or not. Usually gut feelings are pretty accurate. So, you don't need a man with no , and you don't need one who cheats. Take a deep breath and opt out of his little game.

Answer 3

Well the texting will end it, I can tell you right now. Men can't take that clinging stuff. All the emotion you are dumping into him will push him away. It isn't your fault, honey but it is a mistake most women make and one that is a relationship killer.

He used your mother as an excuse - I can tell you right now - no the real reason - just convenient.

Why are you waiting for HIM to decide your fate?

The best thing you could do and your ONLY hope is to end it yourself and DON'T contact him for anything

Then let him get curious, let him wonder. He may then come back to you. But I promise this is your only hope. YOU be the one to put space between you. Then wait and he just MAY cross the divide. One can hope.

Answer 4

Read over your question once more, imagine that it is a friend who is asking you for advice.....?. What would you say to her? Come on honey, he is an a**hole. Love shared between two people should be blissful. Nobody can love two people. If he really gave a s**t, he'd be making you feel like the most special woman alive because that's what you are. YOU DO NOT DESERVE to be treated like this. Get your gladrags on, call your friends and go out for a night on the tiles, forget about this creep. Believe me, there are some good guys out there and you will come across one if you wait. This is your life, do not let him decide how you're going to live it. HE WILL NEVER MAKE YOU HAPPY.

Answer 5

First of all, you need to concentrate on becoming independent of your mother if you are 23 years of age. Move out into your own place and get a job to support yourself before you start looking to entangle yourself in a one-on-one relationship with a man. Wanting it to work will not make it work unless the other person involved also wants it to work. Your mother probably values her own space and you should have yours too. It is selfish for you to expect your mother to put you and your man up for food and shelter. Stop crying. There is no need to blame anyone. This man sounds like he had not completely separated from his ex and may have needed a place to stay until he made up with his ex or found another place to flop for free. Leave him alone and concentrate on making yourself an independent woman. Best wishes.

Answer 6

He is gone. Good for you. Stop texting him. It looks weak and pathetic and he is losing respect for you. Journal to yourself not him. You are feeling overwhelmed right now because you are feeling more that one emotion at a time right now. Living with you parents? Find a guy who can stack some paper and get his own place. It is good you found out know about his weak character. Kiss the ground and thank God you do not have any kids with this guy. You are a kid you will get over this, as overwhelming as it seems. Focus and take care of yourself. Charge him to the game and move on.

Answer 7

hmm it is a dilema but he could have tell u to move in with him in to an apt for the two of u with and effort getting out ur family's house what ever reson ur mom has no to like him is not the point here but his action u need a man that will stand next to u not a boy that runs and hide u r not old to find someone that will see u and value for who u are my opinion he could have done so many dif things instend of breaking up with u. now about ur mom that was the man u chose to be with and she should restpec ur decition if this man was not good enough for u from ur mom point of u she should just stand still and wait bcuz sometimes moms are wrong too

Answer 8

I am very sorry, and know you love him but do not give him ALL the power/control. I know it is so hard and it hurts, so focus on being angry at him for being such a jerk. It is easier to be angry then so sad. Him blaming your mom is just a lame excuse. Keep yourself busy and around friends and family who really love and care about you. Take your mind off of him and show him you will not put up with his crap and excuses. Make him show how sorry he is and how much he really wants to be with you if he comes crawling back. Leave your phone away from you as much as possible, it is easier trust me.

Answer 9

I'm sorry you're so hurt over this but, you should've seen this coming. Once a cheater, pretty much always a cheater. Your ex is making excuses for the reason he wants out. More than likely, he wants to see his ex again or someone else he met. He's blaming your family to blame you for him leaving when in reality, he's the louse.

I comend you for staying with your ex after you found out about him cheating but, why did you expect this to work out? He was lying to you for 4(!) months! That's a long time to lie to someone and to lead a double life. That shows he has no conscience and that he doesn't respect you. If he couldn't not cheat on you when you two weren't living together, what makes you think living together would change anything.

As hard as it is, you need to let this guy go. He's doing you a favor by getting out of your life. You can't see that now but, I promise, this is for the best. He doesn't have to sort anything out. He wants out because he wants someone else. I know that hurts. I went through the EXACT same thing with my ex. He claimed to be confused and blamed me for everything that was wrong in our relationship. He kicked me out of our apartment. I begged him to work things out and tried really hard to make it work thinking I was the real reason our relationship was so bad. Turns out, he was sleeping with a married woman and he was carrying on with her for about a year. All the while, he was seeing me and lying to my face and pretending we were really working things out.

Needless to say, I finally dumped him. He came crawling back like 4 times but I never took him back. Take it from me hun, this sounds very familiar to me and I don't want you to do the same stupid things I did. When a guy says they're confused, they just mean they've met someone else but, they don't want to totally end things with you first in case it doesn't work out.

Let this loser go. You didn't do anything wrong. The only wrong thing you did was take him back after he was cheating. That wasn't really wrong but, it wasn't the best thing you could've done for yourself. You basically gave him the ok to treat you like crap and cheat again because he got away with it the first time.

I know you're hurt and it doesn't feel like you'll get over this but, you will. You're better than this guy. Tell him to take his confused a** and his end of the month timeline and shove it. He's not worth waiting for. Don't let him blame your family for your breakup. He's using that as an excuse so you'll blame yourself. Don't fall for it. Move on and find a real man that shows you respect. The first time he doesn't, dump him. You deserve so much more than what this loser is ever going to give you. Good luck!

Answer 10

I need u to concentrate..now..take a deep breath...u r right that u need help..but right now only u can help yourself.Be strong..hun i can understand that u r heartbroken.But u must tell yourself that it's not the end of the world.he did not value u..he should've have cheated on u...he should've understood u.He can not throw u around like that not letting u know where u stand with him...don't wait on him..let it be over.Love is beautiful...trust me..and u'll find it eventually.Love cant hurt like this if there are full understanding..respect...trust..friendship.Get over it.See the world..have fun..hang out with friends..and meanwhile..try to sort out your differences with your mom..take care and good luck:)