can u tell me some sartharji jokes ?

Answer 1

What is sartharji.

Answer 2

1- Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

2- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

3- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

4-What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

5- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

Answer 3

A Sardar was filling his interview form and his answer to the question "Salary Preffered" was "yes" : )

In the same form, a Sardar answers to "Sex" as "twice a week" : )

Why did a Sardar buy a brown cow?
To get chocolate milk : )

A Sardar can never die of Brain Tumor : )

Sardar did not know how to dial the police in the US coz he had to dial "911" and he did not know where "11" was on the phone : )

Answer 4

I guess you mean SARDARJI..........

Sardarji in full traditional costume is taking a walk on Juhu Beach......
Little boy comes running to Sardarji and asks ....
Sardarji, Sardarji....Can you please tell me the time....
Sardarji pulls out his sword and sticks it in the sand. Looks at the shadow and says....
It is 2o'clock....son.
The boy is very impressed and runs away.
A little while later the boy comes back and asks....
Sardarji...How do you tell time at night when there is no shadow.....?
Sardarji rolls up his sleeve and shows the boy a beautifully crafted Rolex watch and says what do you think I wear this watch for?

Funny?

Sardarji sees a freind in the distance while out for a walk. He tries to attract the friend's attention by shouting. The friend is too far and cannot hear sardarji.....
Sardarji pulls out a pair of binoculars and focuses on the friend and says(softly); Yar I have been shouting but you are not listening......

Sardarji is sunbathing on the beach in USA.....
American comes to him and asks: Are you relaxing?
No I am Bhagat singh.......

Funny?

Answer 5

SANTA n BANTA mania continues


SANTA declares:

.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .

.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ===



SANTA talking on cell.

BANTA: kis se baat kar raho ho.

SANTA: biwi se.....

BANTA: itne... pyar se....?

SANTA: tumhari hai. . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

A donkey kicked SANTA & ran away

SANTA ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &

said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.



1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.



2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.



3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.



4.Threat:When I am on tour



============ ========= ========= ========

SANTA: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml

now it's 1.5 ltr.

============ ========= ========= =====

On Jeeto's bday

SANTA had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank

manager.

============ ========= ========= ========

teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

SANTA: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

============ ========= ========= ======

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi

gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,

He wanted to save money so what did he do?

Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital

ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........

SANTA: Kyun key pizza hut mein"Delivery Free" hai.

============ ========= ========= ========= =

SANTA aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?

SANTA: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gaya aur mene kaha madam

jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai.....

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab�?o

SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to SANTA: Any great man born in this

village?

SANTA: no sir, only small Babies!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ==

Teacher: A for?

SANTA: Apple

Teacher: Jor se bolo?

SANTA: Jay mata di.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =========

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

SANTA says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks SANTAji, how far is LAND?

SANTA: 2kms....

Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?

SANTA: DOWNWARDS.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========

SANTA orders pizza.

Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?

SANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =======

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =========

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai

jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.

When a person asked what he was doing?

He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA n BANTA were fighting after exam.

Sir: Y r u fighting?

SANTA: This fool left the answer sheet blank,

Sir: So what?

SANTA: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both

copied.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.

BANTA: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent

my wife with him.

Answer 6

I've searched high and low - but am unable to find any Sarth Arji jokes.
I did however find 17 Norf Arji jokes.

Would you like them?

Answer 7

Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!

The MAN ...........


During an International conference, three scientists,
an American, a
German, and an Indian, were talking and bragging about
the Technological advances their respective countries
have achieved in the field of medicine.


TheAmerican said In Washington, there was a baby boy
born without arms so we attached artificial arms on
him. And now that he's grown up and became a
professional boxer and a gold medallist in the
Olympics!

The German replied,"That's nothing compared to what we
have achieved.Back in Berlin, there was a baby girl
born without legs so we attached a pair of artificial
legs on her. Now she is a three-time Olympics marathon
gold medallist!"The Indian interjected,"Is that all
you have achieved , just gold medallists? In India, we
had a baby boy born without a HEAD! We attached a
COCONUT and he has grown up..and now..he is the
railway minister of india!!



The WOMAN ...............

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh).As
she stood in front of yamraj , she saw huge wall
clocks behind. Sheasked, "What are all those clocks?"

Yamraj answered, "Those are lie clocks. Everyone on
earth has a lie clock.

Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will
move." "Oh," said Rabri,
"Who's clock is that?" That's Gautam Buddha's. The
hands have never moved indicating that henever told a
lie.

"And whose clock is that?"

That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The handshave only
moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies
in his entire life."
"Laloo's clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm
using it as a
ceiling fan".




Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar,
where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening.
But he didn't reach in the evening, and not the next day either.
When he finally reached home on the third day, his disrtraut mother ran and asked him
" Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?"The sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey,
and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal ho gaye nain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae nain,
aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?"


A sardar died and went to Heven.When he got to the Pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules
were in effect due to advances in education on Earth.
In order to get admittance, prospective Hevenly soul must answer two questions

A) Name two days in a week which start with "T" ?
B) How many Seconds are there in a year ?

The sardar thought for few minutes and answered

A1. The two days in the week that start with "T" are 'Today' And 'Tommorow'.
A2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

St. Peter said "Ok", I'll buy 'today' and 'tomorrow' even though they are not the answers that I expected.
but How did you get "12 seconds in a year", The Sardar replied "Well... January 2nd.. February 2nd....
March 2nd ..and so on....."



Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling
"86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling
'86, 86, 86'?"
The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you
really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out.
He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay."
The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the
manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts
jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...


There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are
dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on.
The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat.
So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe Hoo?"
....comes the reply,"Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumor se mara hai!!!"



One sardarji wanted to go to Punjab, but didn't know how to book a ticket.
He went near the ticket window and asked a person in the line how to book a ticket. The other person replied:
"Look at how we book our tickets, then you will know how to book yours."
The sardar then saw one person say: "One Punjab Mail,"
and the next person asking for, "Two Punjab Mail."
By now the sardarji was confident enough to face the ticket counter and asked for....
two Punjab male and two Punjab female."



A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the Sardar next to him and says:
"Do you want to hear a funny Sardar joke?"
The Sardar replies: "Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something.
I'm six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder.
Also, the man sitting next to me is 6' 2", weighs 220 pounds, and he is an ex-professional wrestler.
And next to him is a Sardar who is 6'5", weighs 250 pounds, and he's a current professional kick boxer.
Now, do you still want to tell that Sardar joke?"
The guy thinks about it a second and says: "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times

Answer 8

sardarji was called by a friend for lunch on april 1.
sardarji went and he saw a message:- "i made u a fool :-)-"
sardarji wrote:- "i didn't come"

Answer 9

I dont know sartharji but I know Sardarji:

Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
>> >Frnd: Y?
>> >Srdr: Got upper berth.
>> >Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
>> >Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
>> >
>> >
>> >Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
>> >there.............
>> >Girl goes at night & really nobody was there
>> >
>> >
>>> A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a
>> >woman gives birth to a kid.
>> >A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
>> >
>> >
>> >Sardar-why r all these people running?
>> >Man-This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
>> >Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
>> >
>> >Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
>> >Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
>> >again twins & named Max & Climax.
>> >Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!
>> >
>> >
>> >Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future
>>tense.
>> >Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
>> >
>> >
>> >Srdr gets ready , wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on
>>the
>> >branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr: "I've been
>> >promoted as branch manager."
>> >
>> >
>> >One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
>> >U knw Why?
>> >Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
>> >
>> >Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
>> >
>> >Servant: It"s already raining.
>> >
>> >Sardar: So what, take an umbrella and go.
>> >
>> >
>> >Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
>> >What will come first, Chicken or egg?
>> >O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
>> >
>> >
>> >Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
>>fter
>> >deducting tax.
>> >Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
>>
>> >Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
>> >Sardar:- Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted
>>it....
>> >
>> >Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to
>>you...........
>> >Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
>> >
>> >A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
>> >Judge asked:How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
>> >Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
>> >
>> >Sardar's wish : when I die,i wanna die like my grandpa who died
>> >peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d
>>car
>> >he was driving..
>> >
>> >
>> >Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing
>>is what
>> >you call modern art ?
>> >Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
>> >
>> >Sardar was writing something very slowly.
>> >Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
>> >Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
>> >
>> >
>> > Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab
>>.
>> >Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging
>>for
>> >more..
>> >
>> >
>> >A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening
>>not
>> >in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not
>>AM''.
>> >
>> >Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
>> >Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies. >
>> >Sardar goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends' last words.
>> >It is 'U R STANDNG ON the Oxygen TUBE!"
>> >& BE SMELLING TILL THE NXT
>> >
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.

Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook?

Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom

Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?"."Because," said Banta Singh,"The directions on the can said to put on two coats."

A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day,he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can. "

Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids? So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to think-I 'm sardar! "

Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?' >Sardarji : 'What problem?'

Why couldn't the sardar write the number "eleven"? He didn't know which "one" (1) came first...

Why does a sardar only change his baby's diapers once a month? >Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy came and asked the same Question. Sardar
> answered "No No Me Banta Singh." Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai." (Translation ... Idiot everyone is looking for you and you are relaxing here!!!!!)

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking?? >"Saala today again I will have to fall......"

One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital (Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly " Sardarji what are you doing ?" Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi for their next destination. On the next day, they find the Sardarji in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple asked" Sardarji what are you doing ?" Once again replied that I had a baby and I filling the birth certificate form. The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji coolly replied "The form says FILL IN CAPITAL.'

Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Surjit. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet." "But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck to my ear." "Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. .. what happened to the other ear?" "The man called back again."
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa singh, "Singh saab, how come you are celebrating?"..... comes the reply : >Its the first time that a sardar has died of "brain" tumour !!"

Do you know what a Sardarji will do after taking Xerox ? >He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!

Do you know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper? (he already has one and he wants one more..) >He takes a Xerox of the white paper !


Are these enough

Want more go to www.santabanta.com

Answer 10

some one has published book about sardarji's jokes just recently. they don't want u to use the term " sardarji"... u can call santa and banta.. please be warned