The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be The Man Of Your House."
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert."
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."
2007-03-09 21:20:15 · 20 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The penis poem.
My nookie days are over
my pilot light is out
what used to be my sex appeal
is now my water spout
time was when on its own accord
from my trousers would it spring
but now i've got a full time job to find the ********* thing
it used to be embarrasing
the way it would behave
for every single morning it used to stand and watch me shave
now as old age approaches
it sure gives me the blues
to see i hang its little head
and watch me tie my shoes!
2007-03-09 21:34:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excellent 10/10
2007-03-10 02:27:34 · answer #2 · answered by TreesRGreen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do they always wanna play "Law"?? This one's maybe an exception:
Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years.
Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts
loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Martha says,
"One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"
On Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the
turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets
up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards
in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself.
Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes
through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes
running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is
concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the
bathroom for 3 hours.
She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door,
when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says,
"You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out,
but by the grace of God and these two fingers
I got them back up there again."
2007-03-09 22:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by anjali k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like a slave. Equal Rights.
If my man got any ideas like that I would tell him he must be in the twilight zone.
Funny joke though I have heard it before.
2007-03-09 21:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny!! wish full thinking on the mans behalf!! lol
2007-03-09 21:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lucky Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my faves!
10/10 *
Tink x
2007-03-10 04:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to pour custerd down my pants =D
2007-03-09 21:28:35 · answer #7 · answered by peter s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He he that made me laugh, serves him right!
2007-03-09 21:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by sarah_saz26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny one!
2007-03-10 01:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by Dusty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was nice.Who is the law-maker of ur house???
2007-03-09 21:36:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋