My dad has been datin' online but de fing is he's still married and living wiv my mum and she doesn't no a fing about it. My cuz told me she saw him and also i'm asian so being a girl i'm not close 2 my dad and i dunno how 2 deal wiv dis!!! I also av 2 bro and 1 sis!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!
2007-03-09 21:15:33 · 6 answers · asked by Angel J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Before you jump in, it's always good to go into a confrontation after thinking hard about three things: 1) the goals you hope to achieve by confronting; 2) how you will confront (face-to-face, phone, email, etc.); and 3) how the person might react.
First, what are your goals? In other words, what do you hope this confrontation will lead to? For starters, you're especially concerned with how your dad's affairs don't fit his role as a dad, husband, or grandfather. So, one of your goals might be to show him how his actions don't fit with the roles you value. Or, you might want to know what he's thinking. Broadly, your goals might relate to information you want to tell your dad, information you want him to tell you, mending your hurt feelings, whether or not he continues to act out his affairs.
Once you've decided on your goals, you can choose how you will confront your dad. If being upfront scares you, you can take less direct routes like like leaving some sort of evidence that lets him know that you know about his affairs or telling another person and asking them to confront him. Although these less direct strategies might seem tempting, you'll be best off if you choose to confront him in a way that also serves your goals. You may feel better about the end result of this difficult confrontation if you talk with him. Through talking, you can ask questions and get your point of view heard. Because you'd prefer not to talk in person, you could think about calling him on the telephone.
It'll also be helpful for you to imagine how your dad might react to this very personal and, potentially, embarrassing confrontation. Do you know your dad's typical reactions to being surprised or embarrassed? If so, you could try to figure out how he would react to your first confrontation. If he seems too nervous, angry, or down-right speechless at first, consider ending the talk to let him have some private time. It's important for you to break the conversation into several different episodes if you get the feeling that your dad's (or your own) reaction to the confrontation gets in the way of moving toward your goals.
Importantly, you might be worried about how this confrontation might affect your relationship with your dad. Because you want to keep your good relationship, consider focusing your conversation on how his behaviors are causing you discomfort, while letting him know you still love him. It's the behaviors that you'll want to zoom in on, not your dad as a person. What would it be like for you to tell him how hurt and confused you are about his secretive behaviors? How can you let him know that you still cherish your relationship with him, despite your feelings about what he's doing?
The hard reality of this situation is that no amount of preparedness and strategy will take away all of the stress you're feeling. This is emotionally challenging, and you find yourself hard-pressed to understand how your dad could act in such ways. Seek support from some non-family members as you get through this tough time. Best of luck to you and your family!
2007-03-09 21:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all confront your dad in a not intimidating way until you get the facts absolutely correct. Your cuz may have saw
him but there just could be a reasonable explanation.........unless he was all over her that is. Also why does this necessarily make in online dating? Hope all turns out well in the end.
2007-03-10 01:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, do not tell your mom yet. communicate on your dad first and tell him you comprehend it. yet don't be fooled. i comprehend he's gonna do bribery or something in basic terms to flee. confer with him like a professional and a matured one. tell him that if he would not end, you will tell it on your mom. btw, did you get photos of the region? I mean you're able to have demonstrate screen captured it and saved it on your Flashcontinual basically for evidences. in case you have not performed this, then seize the demonstrate screen that it says he has been to dating web content. extra desirable yet, open the present internet site he has been and notice if there are messages or what have you ever.
2016-10-01 21:16:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should confront your dad and ask him about it. You should ask him to tell your mum or you'll do it for him. Give him a chance to explain and change his ways and if he refuses, then do the right thing by your mother and tell her about his decietful actions.
It will be difficult for your family to deal with but you'll get through it.
2007-03-09 21:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to your dad about it ans see what he says if your to scared get someone whoscloser to him like your brother good luck
2007-03-09 21:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by lilshortyjess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go talk to your mother about this
2007-03-09 21:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋