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My ex fiance broke up with me a while back. Right before we broke up she was asking for space and told me she was scared of marrying me. I didn't respect her request for space which is why she broke it off with me. She didn't talk to me for a couple weeks until I went and talked to her and apologized for not giving her space and not respecting her wishes. After I was done she looked like she was on the verge of tears and told me that she was the one that should be apologizing but she told me she didn't want to give me a second chance because she felt like she didn't love me. I know that she's scared of commiting to me and that she thinks that maybe she doesn't love me because she's having all these doubts and she's pushing me away because she's afraid that maybe I'm going to hurt her or she's going to hurt me in the future which she addmitted being scared of before we broke up. I'm willing to do anything to get her back so I don't want any "move on " answers. I just need some

2007-03-09 20:30:55 · 16 answers · asked by Confused as hell 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

advice on what to do to get her back into my life. I know she's scared but I don't know what to tell her or how to approach her on this since we haven't talked about this since we broke up.

2007-03-09 20:31:39 · update #1

16 answers

I think there might be a bigger issue she might not know herself on the surface.

Did something happen in her past making it difficult to be happy?

Also, different things matter, like age and experience and how long you two have been together.

The only thing I can tell you is to take it as slow as she wants to if she needs space, because after all, she did ask for it and you didn't say yes the first time.

Also, there could be something in the relationship scaring her off. If you didn't give her the space she needed to begin with, were you maybe a bit too controlling in other aspects?

Take time to evaluate on your part, because it could be her, or it could be you.

If you love her and you are willing to wait, let go of the pressure and just take it one day at a time.

2007-03-09 20:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by elidet_reyes 3 · 0 0

I think you should give her the space and respect the fact that she needs time no matter how hard it is sometimes you tend to wonder if you're moving too fast things can become overwhelming and you just have to step back and take a look at what you want and is this who you want to be with for the long haul. So if she loves you when she's done thinking about what it is she really wants for the rest of her life maybe she'll come back to what she's had time to think about she may have lost. If she doesn't then maybe it just wasn't meant to be and i really feel bad that this happen to you and i hope everything works out in your favour. Good Luck!

2007-03-09 20:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0 0

Try and become friends again and work on understanding what she is scared of. Maybe there are alot of factors coming in to play. All you can do is show her that you are willing to give her time and that you love her. Tell her you are willing to wait until she's ready and if that's never as long as you have her in your life then you will be happy. Give her space to think but at the same time keep showing her that you love her. You never know what is going to happen in the future but you are willing to take that chance and tell her that you's are both hurting at this point so it is better to be honest. Are you sure there isn't something she is hiding but is too scared to admit the truth to you? Good luck and i hope you's can sort this out.

2007-03-09 20:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0 0

I think you should back off the marriage thing, obviously she;s not ready and is having trouble coping with the emotions involved. I would suggest having a talk to her about getting abck together as a couple and leave the marrriage thing alone, for now just be content with what you have and don't try to push her into something she's not ready for. And if she asks for time and space to think, respect her wishes and give it to her.
I have to be honest with you though, if she says no to getting back together even as a couple then i think you need to consider the next step in your life. It may involve moving on.

Good luck.

2007-03-09 20:41:07 · answer #4 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0 0

to win back the love of someone who probably fell out of love with you is pretty hard. If i am on your shoes, i would definitely try to forget her and move on. but since, that isnt what you want well try to court her again. It's as if you're back again to zero. If right now, she doesnt want to marry you, then at least ask for her a chance to show you're a man worth loving. Who knows, one day her heart will melt with all the efforts you are willing to show/give her.

2007-03-09 20:44:09 · answer #5 · answered by boobsy star 2 · 0 0

Sounds to me like you need to sit down and have a long talk with her. Let her know how you feel about her and the situation. If she is afraid of commitment, and you want her in your life, then just stay together as boyfriend/girlfriend. Then one day if you both decide you are ready for marriage, then go for it.

2007-03-09 20:42:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kyle 3 · 0 0

What makes her think she'll get hurt in the relationship? Sounds like a cop out on her part. She is a confused young woman. You should talk honestly to each other about what direction you both want this relationship to go. Good Luck!

2007-03-09 20:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by Little sis 2 · 0 0

if you seriously want her back then, then maybe your best bet is to take things from the beginning again....dates, cinema, dinners, take it as slow as you did when you first went out together, this may well show her how serious you are....and then talk to her, find out what it is that is troubling her, it might not be the commitment, it may be the more of getting hurt, maybe she was really hurt bad in a last relationship, or maybe she did the hurting and is scared of doing the same to you, no matter how she feels about you....but take everything as slow as you can...if this was meant to be it will work....dont pressure her to staying over with you and vice versa, just let he know you are there for her....go out and have fun....enjoy yoursleves as a couple...i dunno tell her its no strings attached you just wanna have fun together "like you used too".....hope this helps.....good luck

2007-03-09 20:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by deni 5 · 0 0

i think he replaced into crying pretend tears the great time. he's carefully no longer severe relating to the relationship and he's dropping your emotions on him. do no longer provide your heart away to an insecure, chilly-hearted individual like that. He sounds like he's in simple terms toying with you. He sounds like he in simple terms ought to be attentive to ways some distance he can pass into breaking you down till you ultimately say you have had sufficient. i do no longer think of he's the the main suitable option one for you, sweetie. there are quite some worthier adult males obtainable so which you could pick, yet heavily no longer this one you're speaking approximately. by the years, you will forget approximately approximately him. do no longer complication. you could love him whether it would not advise which you will no longer placed that love onto somebody else extra worth. maximum suitable of success.

2016-11-23 18:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

My suggestion, forget her. I know a friend whose case was similar like this one, she also dont want to marry, but the boy convince her for marriage anf that everything will be all right. The are married for more than 4yrs but there married life is like hell and still they have not come to conclusion of having children.. Rest depend on you.

2007-03-09 20:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by funxxxnxxx 2 · 0 0

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