Ok to start off with I have been dating this girl for half a year. We argue alot over small things and I really don't have a clue why. She checks up on me all the time, for example she goes through my cell phone texts constantly, but when i do the same to her, she thinks i dont trust her. I get so confused! Sometimes she gets mad over the smallest things, for instance, if i dont do what she asks she gets mad, like choosing where to eat. But when i ask her for a favor, she doesnt do it.Another problem is she wants to go out and party with her friends,but the time i did let her,she got home at like 6 in the morning.I know if i did this she would have drilled me.I try to compromise with her,telling her that if she goes out well then ill go out too,but she gets mad and says that i never want her to have fun and she stays home,mad.We love each other, But sometimes when we get into a fight,she puts me down and tells me she dont love but then soon after she tells me I'm the only one for her!
2007-03-09 18:29:33 · 20 answers · asked by Teen Reslover.. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know the truth hurts, so you probably aren't going to like hearing my opinion. Please remember, tho, that it's only the opinion of a stranger (me), so if you don't agree with it, that's okay. :) No hard feelings!
Anyway, my opinion is that your relationship does not sound like it will stand the test of time, unless you and your girlfriend have some serious, soul-searching conversations about these various problems in the relationship. And unfortunately, it seems like most of the problems stem from her. From what you've written so far, it sounds like your g/f has tendencies to be jealous, controlling, suspicious, and easily angered. This may stem from her having terribly low self-esteem, which means the way she's treating you is similar to the way a schoolyard bully treats the more submissive children. Or, your g/f may honestly feel that this is the right way a woman should treat a man in a relationship (i.e. maybe she was brought up that way.) Or she could even have a mental illness, such as bipolar disorder, which might cause her to behave irrationally at times.
Either way, it's clear that you are NOT happy with her angry, controlling, suspicious, jealous tendencies, and I dont' blame you. You don't deserve to be treated that way, otherwise she will eventually start dragging you and your self-esteem down. You deserve someone who TRUSTS and RESPECTS you and doesn't make you feel sad and/or bad. And yes, it truly is possible to love someone who makes you feel bad -- but that doesn't mean it's right.
Here's hoping that you eventually find the courage to have a long, honest, heart-to-heart talk with her, because it's high time for that. Hopefully you two can work things out, but if she's unwilling to even try, then you know what to do. I know it's very hard to walk away from a relationship, but sometimes it must be done. :( Good luck!! I wish you the best!! :)
2007-03-09 18:32:55 · answer #1 · answered by scary shari 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this but it's true! The reason why some one is over suspicious and snoops around is because they are fooling around. Do you really want to be with someone who puts you down when they get mad? There is a reason behind that too... She'll bring you down and then say you are the only one for her to keep you under her thumb. It's a dirty insecurity game but it gets played all the time by both the girls and the boys. You sound like a nice guy... break up and be single for a while to let your heart breathe and mend then get back out there and find the girl for you that won't mess with your head or heart. Good Luck!!
2007-03-10 02:42:00 · answer #2 · answered by forme2poopon73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This girl sounds very confusing. Arguing alot is pretty normal but the whole her going through your phone says to me that she doesn't trust you. Sounds to me like she is a bit of a spoilt brat, she needs to be willing to compromise when it comes to eating out. As for her going out and not wanting you to, sounds like she wants to go out and have fun without you but wants you sitting there waiting for her like a good little puppy dog. I'd say to her that you are over all the selfish games that she is playing and she needs to grow up or you are moving on. Find someone who treats you better than this because i certainly wouldn't put up with it and neither should you.
2007-03-10 02:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my ex. It probably wont get any better. She has a lot of growing up to do and judging by the last sentence in your question, she probably has some bi-polar tendencies. That's bad news. The trust issue means that either she been burned in the past and still hasn't come to terms with it, or she's got her own secrets. I feel for you bro, I tried to make that situation work for three years and it was tough to end it but my sanity, friends, and happiness was at stake.
2007-03-10 02:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who has this SAME problem. Try to talk to her about it. I mean seriously, she can't keep doing stuff then you do the same thing and you get yelled at. Thats not fair to you.
So talk to her and tell her that if this relationship is going to work then we have to have trust. A relationship cannot last without trusting each other.
If she gets mad about it then maybe she's not worth it?
2007-03-10 02:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by softballchickk<3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not love--not really sure what it is, but a relationship is supposed to be equal. That doesn't mean 50/50 all the time, sometimes it's 70/30 or 20/80.The point is you should "compliment" each other. Sorry but she sound manipulative.
2007-03-10 02:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Queen-o-the-Damned 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, if someone doesn't trust you (and it really seems like she doesn't), then that person must be doing something wrong themselves. If she checks your cell phone, but doesn't want you to check hers, doesn't that make you wonder if she is hiding something? If you have the feeling she is cheating or at least doing something she shouldn't be doing, you have to trust your instinct because it is usually right. Find someone that trusts you and treats you better.
2007-03-10 02:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lyzz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're whipped, for one.
You know why most people are paranoid about their partners cheating? Because they're doing it themselves, so they know how easy it is to get away with.
You two aren't ment for eachother, I think you should break it off and move on. Find someone who wants equal rights with you, instead of stomping you down and dancing on your grease stain.
2007-03-10 02:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by kenniemcooper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow dude. this chick has issues. I'm not sure that id take this if i were you. you should sit her down and have a good long talk with her about how you feel and if she throws a hissy, just walk away and say you tried.
2007-03-10 02:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by Bo W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her down and talk to her. You both need to find out what the other feel and you both need to tell the truth even if it hurts then other feeling so you guy can work it out
2007-03-10 02:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by andrea t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋