Here's Question you girls will hate..?

Question

When a woman gets pregnant to a man who had not planned for this to hapen (ie: One Night Stand - condom broke) why should he have to pay child support if she decides to keep the baby?
I mean 1. He used protection and it failed him 2. He has NO SAY in whether or not she has the child whatsoever 3. He doesn't want it..

Also in a different view what if he WANTS it but she wants to have an abortion?

See its the females choice as to what will happen but the man who 'pays' emotionally and financially.

How can this be fair?

Before you accuse me of anything I am only asking this as a general question - not because of anything similar happening to me...

Can you people read? I said this has nothing to do with a situation I am in personally - surprise surprise I AM FEMALE!!!!

Answer 1

If he can PROVE that all steps were taken to avoid pregnancy and it happened anyway.

If he signs over all of his rights.

Then maybe it is fair that he avoid responsibilty for a child he doesn't want, what about these women who put holes in condoms so they can trick him into getting preggers? Is it fair that she gets away with altering someones life forever?

And I don't think its fair to say 'If you don't want a baby, don't have sex' because along with Dolphins humans are the only species in the world who have sex for pleasure as well as reproduction. If someone died in a car accident I sure you wouldn't turn around and say 'if you don't want to die in a car accident don't get into a car'

Answer 2

I know our society doesn't promote the thought that having sex is always a responsibility. Nothing else can bring new life in to yours and therefore change it completely, or kill you (AIDS, Syphilis) at the same time. That's what both people have to keep in mind when they decide to have sex.

If the woman wants an abortion after a situation like you described, she's most likely not even going to tell the guy about it, especially not if it was a one-night stand. She may not even have any contact information. So she will have to handle one of the most difficult situations a person could be in by herself while everything's peachy for the guy.

If she contacts the guy, wants to keep the baby and he doesn't - well, you know, you can always just not pay, while she is still going to have to change her whole life, child support or not. The financial part is only one harship when it comes to raising a child, and if you're not even willing to help out with that part, then you probably are an *** in the first place. But like I said, you still have the possibility to just stay out of it and not pay. The woman has to make a decision that will affect her either way, while the guy still gets out somewhat easy.

You think it is unfair that a guy who has at least shown some responsability by using a condom doesn't have a say in what happens with a child that's created that way, but will have to deal with the consequences. Considering that having a child or aborting one physically, mentally and overall in life affects a woman much harder than a man, I think you guys still get the better end of the deal.

Answer 3

You said "he pays financially and emotionally". Now take those words and apply it to her life. 9 months of visibly and physically feeling the pregnancy, then compond the 18+years she is automatically signed on for. He can have a normal social life, she can't, he can sleep in,date, take any job he wants...she can't. Her obligation is enormous, - it alters every - I mean every- aspect of her life now. He can still have freedom to do so much that she won't have fo another 18 yrs. So is it fair to the guy? Putting on a condom does not absolve you. Just like a failed birth control pill ( it happens - antibiotics often cancel out the pill - did you know that?) doesn't absolve either of you. Sex is sex. Two people making a decision, and yes, human biology tells us, it means two people potentially making a third. There is no free "get out of jail"card. You both are responsible. Fate is a funny thing? As for the abortion issue. You as an adult (you can have sex so that qualifies you), need to realize the possibilites. Live up to your responsibilties. And discuss the possible outcomes together.

Answer 4

You're right, it's not fair. But it's a fact of life. Just like women having labour pains and stretch marks and all the other less-than-lovely things associated with pregnancy and childbirth. That's not fair either. But there's no point crying over it. That's the way it is. And - getting back to your case - the woman in whose womb the baby is growing has the final say-so whether to abort or carry it to term. Discussing the fairness or unfairness of that is a waste of time.

Answer 5

In my opinion....If you choose to have sex you have to recognize the risks and accept that condoms are only around 87% effective in the prevention of pregnancy, even if they don't break. So basically if you have sex there are the possibilities there will be consequences. Seems like one night stands are the ones that always come back to bite ya in the ***.

I don't agree with it only being the females choice to have an abortion or not. It took two to make the baby, the father should have some say in it.

Answer 6

The truth is that most guys want just a one night stand with no regard to what may happen when it's over. Most men think with their winkies instead of with their heads. If a man wants the women to keep the baby so they can get custody of them then they could try going to court and make her carry the baby full term . But let's face it, most men don't want a child if their a single guy out dating for "ONE NIGHT STANDS" . Most women do keep their babies and lots give them up to adoption, so the guy has the chance to get custody but it's not like he wants too.

Answer 7

i agree with you--and i am a woman.

a man should pay child support if he wanted the child. if he doesn't, then he forks over contact with that child FOREVER. i hate to say it, but i truly think that some women only keep babies to get child support. it's not a fair world we live in so it's no surprise that some people have twisted minds that ruin lives like this, and what sucks is, the child is the one stuck in the middle.

Answer 8

Number one, anytime you have sex you take the risk of getting a girl pregnant. ANYTIME!! He should have to pay child support because she didn't get herself pregnant, thats why. I don't believe in abortion and I personally think the father should have some say in this area, especially if he is willing to take the baby himself and raise it. However, if you take the plunge, be responsible and deal with anything that may come out of it.

Answer 9

that is why it is called sex between two consenting adults. if he doesn't want kids then get fixed. it's just that simple. and for the rest of your question...most of the time everything is left up to the woman anyway. when a couple decides to not have anymore children...it's the woman that has to get her tubes tied, when it is easier and safer for a man to have a vasectomy. most of the birth control is aimed at women too. we put our lives on the line with all this stuff..why should a man say anything?

Answer 10

when a life is conceived..you need to be responsible for it..imagine how the girl feels having her whole body n life change? you need to grow up and realize that sex is serious...also sex has the chance of producing a baby whether u use a condom or not..know why>? because God is in charge of creating a baby in the womb and he has the say on whether a life is created or not..if you arent ready for the risk..dont have sex until you are married