He broke up with me a few weeks ago. Why is he emailing me more and asking if I'm coming to Japan in April?

Question

He broke up with me among other reasons because of the distance; I'm in New York; he's in Tokyo. We started dating in Tokyo, then I had to move to NY last Sep and we dated long dist. The break up was not mutual, but it was open ended, in that he did not completely rule out the possibility of getting back together once I moved back to Tokyo. I'm moving back to Tokyo to start work there in April; he doesn't know that yet. He wanted to be friends and as friends, he would email me at the same rate, he said, and I can call him on the phone, we can meet in Tokyo "as friends". But since the break up a few weeks ago he is responding quicker to my emails, initiating conversations, and he writes me: "[my name], hello. [my name], fundamentally there is no problem. [my name], by the way now are you coming to Japan in April?" I am wondering why he wants to know whether I'm coming back to Japan and why is he talking to me more than when we were dating? When I asked him, he said there is no one new.

I should add that another major reason for breaking up was that he did not feel good enough for me due to his educational background, etc, a point of great frustration for me because I don't share in his opinion. He said he could not marry me because he could not make me happy, because he does not and could not have a proper, decent job. I wouldn't mind providing for him, and letting him do what he likes, but he doesn't like such a situation. Now he is being sincere, and I think this makes him even more difficult to read.

Answer 1

You want to have a relationship with him. He wants to have one with you. So try to make it work!

Yes, it really is that simple to a first approximation.

The devil is in the details.