Is it appropriate to give your new bride your mother's wedding ring ?

Question

I am getting hitched tomorrow to a wonderful and beautiful gal named Cathy. She is ,like me, a very traditional person. I would like to give her my mom's diamond ring as a token of how very much I lover her. Is this a dumb idea ? Should I just go out and buy her a fancy new ring ? Please help gals ! In Fellowship MGySgt PJ McCain USMC RT

To all of you who were so kind to respond Thank You Very Much. And my special thanks to thawk5il who " answered my question " with perfect simplicity and clarity. I remain Yours In Fellowship PJ McCain USMC RT.

Answer 1

Almost everyone that is getting married is crazy in love with the person they are marrying, the day before it happens. Hopefully your love for each other will last the rest of your lives. Realistically, this is only true for about half of married people.

Skip ahead in time now --- Everyone who gets a divorce, was happily saying "I DO" at some point in the past. They didn't get married with a plan for divorce on the 'to do' list, but about half of them gravitate that direction.

Therefore, ignore the fact that you are crazy in love. Ignore the fact that right now, you trust your new bride with your very life. Consider instead, the fact that a wedding ring is a gift, for that person to have for the rest of her life, and once you've given it to her, it's hers. Period.

So, even though I hope the best for you guys, and there's no doubt you hope the best for yourselves, the question remains, if it doesn't work out, would you still want her to have your mother's ring? lost from the family, never to be seen again?

Just my opinion here, but unless she's expecting it already, I'd get the new ring. I'd wait about 10 years and then, give her your mother's ring. Let her earn it! The other consideration is if you have siblings. If the marriage doesn't work out, and the ring is lost from the family forever, they won't be very overjoyed about that. Hopefully, your wife would have the class to give it back, but there's some real doozies out there.

Bottom line: Giving her the ring is gambling with it. Maybe the risk is very small, but, it's still a risk. People spend their hard earned paychecks on lottery tickets with better odds of winning.

Good luck with it!

Answer 2

I think that is the most sweet and romantic gesture. If your mother is alive, i'm sure she would feel honored. If she has passed i think the ring would mean so much to your bride because she knows how much it means to you.

I don't think this is a dumb idea at all. Congratulations.

Answer 3

I wouldn't if I was you...it is a very sweet gesture...but here is my reasoning..

First I want to say..... I am not trying to be mean or offensive in anyway......, but my brother did just what you are thinking about doing...and his marriage lasted fourteen years... she met someone else and went on down the road...this just about killed my brother....but since then he met another and is happily married and expecting a child..his first child (him and his first wife had no children).....anyway, his first wife decided she like my mom's ring and refused to give it back...and since it was given as a gift...it was hers to keep.....my mom was killed in a car wreck many years ago...I just think it would have been nice for her ring to have went on in the family through my brothers children ....maybe, if my mom was still alive I would feel differently about this...I am just not sure.....

I know I am making this come out badly..this is not my intention.....I wish you and your lady a life long happiness and love....and I am not implying that anything is going to happen with your marriage... I just think maybe since this was your mother's ring that it might be better to save it for your child.....and get you lady a new one....besides, if you end up having two children there will be an heirloom to hand down to both of them later on...

just my two cents...and poorly given...sorry....

.Congratulation and Best Wishes on your wedding.....

*** I just read Kevins post...he has the just of it....***

Answer 4

Ugh, this really depends.
If you fiancee LIKES the ring, I'm sure she would be honored to wear your mom's ring.
If she has a different taste, she may feel that you are trying to save money somehow.........and be insulted.
You may ask her what she likes, but if you want to present her with a ring on your proposal, the best thing to do may be to say "I want you to have my mom's diamond but we will have it placed in a different setting". This is a good cross between the emotional/sentimental connection with your mom's ring and also having your bride choose her own design.
I think this would be a beautiful way to start a new relationship..........best of luck to you!!

Answer 5

I think she will be honored to wear your mother's ring. A ring that is handed down as a family heirloom will mean more to her than a newly purchased ring. Now you have something that you can pass down to your children as well. Congratulations!

Answer 6

I think it is a wonderful idea. I personally believe it has more character... because it means a lot to you. You sound like a truly romantic guy and she will love it ... I'm sure of it. Good luck and congrats.

Answer 7

It's a tradition that alot of people do.I think it's a sweet sentiment.And if you think she'll love it then give it to her.Good luck and Congrats! And thank you for doing what you do for our country!

Answer 8

I think that would probably be a wonderful idea! That is so sweet. I don't know your bride, but most traditional brides would appreciate that greatly.

Answer 9

i think it is sweet to keep it in the family it gives it more meaning rather than " look how much i spent on you " it says " look i am wanting you to be in my family"

i used my great grandmothers wedding ring as mine when i got married.

Answer 10

That would be awesome
Very appropriate.
I think she would love it but is should be discussed.
I wouldn't want someone elses wrecked marriage on my hand!