my ex girlfriend left me 3 weeks ago, she didnt want to spend anytime with me, and we ended up breaking on a friday, i talked to her sunday, and we made up, and i went to her place, and we had sex, and the next night we did the same thing. then twice we went out to lunch that week. and everything seemed like it was ok. then thursday she sent me a text that we should just be friends. because i said a bunch of stuff to her that i shouldnt have said when we broke up. and people we talking at work. i showed my friend one of the texts that i sent her. and he showed his buddy. and they started talking about her at work. so about a week later i was trying to talk to her. and she told me that there was now someone else. and this just crushes me. i have only been with this girl for four months, but we live together for two months of it. and i truly feel in love with her. i thought this was ment to be, because i meet her the night i came home from iraq, but we didnt really talk then she went out with me and my friend the next weekend and we had been together ever since. tonight i went to get the rest of my stuff from her, and i tried to talk to her. i told her that i loved her. and she didnt care. she was the happiest that i have ever seen her, because her new boy was comming over. i am so messed up over this, i have lost 23 pounds in the last three weeks. i havent eaten maybe a couple days worth of food in the last three weeks. i dont know what to do, i think im a good looking guy, but im only 5'7 and when i was talking to her she said that she was into taller people. part of me wants to just snuff this other guy but that wont do any good. then id spend most of my life in prison. i just dont know how to get over her. i dont have many friends anymore because i have been gone so long. and dont know how to meet girls. i am scared of rejection, and i dont want to be alone anymore. i just want to be with her, and i know it wont happen, and if it did that i shouldnt be with her again. because this is the second time that we broke up and she didnt want to be with me. but last time it lasted like four days, and she heard that i was going out. and she decided that she wanted me back. but this time she has some one else, its just not fair why does she get to be happy while i sit at home alone. i am just sick over this. and cant quit thinking about it. people say that there are more fish in the ocean, but i live in iowa. i dont know how to get over this. i have had people tell me that she isnt all that cute and i can do way better. if so why doesnt she want me anymore. because i really dont want anyone else. i just want to be with her.
2007-03-09 16:50:48 · 4 answers · asked by Chris R 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know, I hate to say it, but there are a lot of girls who get off on the prospect of being with someone who's been to war. But if that's what she was into you for, and not for who you really are, the bloom could have worn off the rose. That is, if she's that kind of girl. In which case, no offense, but she would suck if that were the case.
It sounds like there could be more going on with *you* though, if you are getting so upset over a girl you've only known for four months that you aren't eating and you can't stop thinking about her and the only thing that keeps you from offing the competition is the prospect of going to prison. That just doesn't make sense, hon. I'm not belittling your feelings, but it just sounds like there's more going on with you than maybe even you know.
My suggestion is that you get some counseling for yourself, not because I think you're crazy, but because a trained professional may be able to help you figure out why this has you so unbalanced, and whether or not it's really her that's the issue.
As far as meeting girls, try a personals ad. I know that sounds cliche, but it's a cliche because it works for some people. The fact that you're not the tallest guy ever only matters to people for whom that's not a preference. There are a lot of girls who don't care about that as much. There are a lot of girls who'd travel to meet you, and whom you can visit in other nearby states. Maybe there are even girls in Iowa who would love to meet you, but just don't know how.
Please, you've survived hell in Iraq--don't let this one girl ruin the life that could have so easily been taken from you. Life must be worth even more now than before. Please don't waste it waiting for some girl who doesn't have the good sense to like you for who you are, someone who knows what she wants and won't string you along. It's a sad but true fact that there are girls who will do that just because they can, and for no other reason. But I'm convinced that there are many more girls out there who will prove worthy of you if you just give them the chance.
Good luck! Stay strong! Get some help. Please. It doesn't mean you're weak or crazy, it means just what it says, that you need a little help.
2007-03-09 17:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWww. Im sorry, Hun. I know that this must be extremely difficult for you, because you obviously care for her very deeply. Unfortunately, it seems like it was only seual for her. I cannot speak for her because I am not her, but that would be my guess. I am sorry that this has happened to you, but I do know that if you care for her as you say you do, then you know that all you truely want is her happiness. And if that be the case, then you are going to have a rough time for a little while, because that means that you are going to have to let go. If she really does want to be with this other guy, then you should just let her, if thats what she wants. If you love her, her happiness should come first. She may just be confused and need some space from you, and when she gets it, may want you back. But of course, it is up to you what you do at that point. I don't think you should let her fickle decisions run your life though. It will be ok for you. I know this is hard to come to terms with, but just be yourself, and live life. Life will pass you by if you dont just take everyday for what it is. If it was meant to be, then you will end up together again, but this time, let HER chase YOU. you would be surprised at what some time apart will do. But again, dont rely on her comin back. Just live your life, and like I said...if it was meant to be...it will. Theres nothing else you can do.
I wish you Good Luck. Everything will eventually be ok.
2007-03-10 01:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read that breaking up is like a death and you go through the grieving stages. I know that feeling of desperation you describe, I'm going through it too. Just let yourself be sad. Continue with your daily routine. Don't call her. If you catch yourself thinking about her, don't. Play a sport or something. Go workout, run, go out with friends. Put your profile on a dating site and just meet people. Your grieving will last for a while, just accept it and continue your life.
2007-03-10 01:02:50 · answer #3 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to move on, this is hard when you care for someone
but you dont let any one take your sprit away, she not worth
this, not eating, that not good for any one. it will just take
time but you will see that you can love again. so hang in
there. they are right there are other fish in the sea. when it
time for you to start fishing again the fish will be biting.
2007-03-10 00:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋