Christians, what is the proper way to reproach someone?

Question

From a biblical perspective, how are we supposed to tell someone that they have sinned?

Is there are different approach for a Christian or non-Christian?

Sometimes I see people who are supposedly Christian on here making accusations in a very angry manner. (And just experienced on my last question. Some of them seemed to think that I wasn't Christian, and if I wasn't I certainly would not have become one with the tone of some of the responses that I recieved.) There must be something in the Bible that tells Christians how to effectively reproach someone. Does anyone know specifically where?

Answer 1

I believe the Matthew 18 model of rebuking a brother/sister who is in error is the best way to handle things.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

Do all of this with gentleness and love so the accused has no complaint. In addition to this, do not discuss the matter with third parties until you have tried to talk to the person at least twice, alone and with witnesses. Discussion of the problem with others first is gossip and also a sin.

Answer 2

Most Christians cannot answer this question, but most athiests can, because most (emphasis on most here) Christians see other people being told of their 'sin' in the way you described above, and this is much of the reason athiests move away from the church to begin with. John 8:7 states that only people without sin can reproach those that do sin, and in the Christian world, how many do not have sin? Matthew Chapter 7 states "Judge not that ye be not judged", which follows a different approach to the same concept and is more simply put as do not point out another's flaws and mistakes unless you are quite prepared to have your own shown to the world. So, from a biblical perspective, we are not to tell someone that they have sinned. If they are truly a "good Christian" then they will know already, and if they are not and the sin is very bad, the criminal justice system will let them know.

Answer 3

I think it is in Corinthians. Normally you try to point out the sin yourself. If that doesn't work, then you need to go with witnesses. If that doesn't work, then take the in front of the church. I'd have to look it up. On here, I'd point out that by the same measure that we judge, we will be judged. I didn't see what you are talking about, but we can be angry, not hateful. "Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm". This should be a warning to all.

Answer 4

Writing and speaking can sound different. We are always to speak with love and caring. I think people are more on the defensive here because you can't read the expressions in their eyes, mannerisms or tone of voice that you could if you were actually talking with someone face to face. Also most people would not be as bold or say the things they say in person as they do here.

Answer 5

One of the most annoying things about some people - and it's not confined to Christians - is that they cannot refrain from meddling in other people's lives. If I am sinning , I dare say I am aware of it, and anyone who reproaches me for it is likely to be told to mind their own business.

Answer 6

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Ephesians 4:15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Answer 7

To edify some ones soul and help them to be better is or should be the motive. This helps them better their relationship with Christ. When dealing with some one this should be the motive.
The epistles of Paul from Romans to Philemon all have some forms of dealing with others who have some error in their lives.
The proper thing for you to do is to immerse yourself in the scripture and feed your soul on the word because everyone else will fail you sooner or later.

Answer 8

For a brother or sister in Christ we are supposed to do so gently... (I have not always done this successfully) I see there are references already. Most of Pauls letters address how we are to treat one another and how to lead one another to a corrected understanding of behavior and relationship with God.
Lovely question by the way and a good lesson for me to keep in mind.

Answer 9

Make sure that you have the log out of your own eye before you try to get the splinter out of your brother's...I'll go look it up and get back with you...there are guidlines in the Bible about this...and just remember...those that are claiming to be 'christians'....the Bible says that by their fruits you shall know them...all you have to do is look at the fruit

Answer 10

With love.

Look at it this way, when you discipline children out of anger, all you do is cause fear, confusion, and hurt feelings.

When you discipline them with love, a calm voice, an open heart, they learn something, they grow, and the bonds are made stronger.

Reproach with love. Thats the way Christ did it.