Job Application
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
S£X: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sxcked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb s£xy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
2007-03-09 16:25:04 · 80 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Back on form babe!
You is one seriously funny chick! .x.
2007-03-09 16:31:06 · answer #1 · answered by Chris W 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Funny!!
2007-03-17 06:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Gaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bit Cruel And Funny Abit.
2016-03-28 22:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle
2014-10-03 11:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my bre
2014-11-06 09:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
funny
2007-03-16 23:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Cleopatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sxcked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
2014-11-04 10:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They hired him huh? Explains why I get an orange juice when I order coffee and a big mac when what I ordered was a filet o fish. Ha!
2007-03-09 16:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brill
2007-03-16 14:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by lazybird2006 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o.m.g LOL
This was a GREAT one! I always really enjoy your jokes, Tink, and I will keep an eye on your profile for more from you!!
A star for you!
Thanks again for the laugh!
And I agree with you 100% that you have always gotta THINK TINK!
haha I <3 tinkerbell too =)
2007-03-17 02:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That guy has a future as a comedian. Don't be surprised if not to far in the near future we see or hear from him in that capacity.
2007-03-09 16:29:25 · answer #11 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋