alright, so i have this friend of like 5 years, and he's been going out with this girl on and off for 2 years. it's the usual "i love you, let's break up, wanna come over?" stuff, and the problem he NEVER shuts up about it. it's not like he's in an emotional crisis, but he uses me as an outlet for all his girl problems...
is there any way to get him to shut up? i've tried telling him directly that i don't wanna listen to him talking about his girl problems, and he shuts up, but then he gets right back into it the next day... i'm really getting sick of being his outlet.... any ideas?
2007-03-09 15:42:29 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You could tape his mouth shut or superglue it (dont do it)
You could tell him gently. You could burn it into his yard or speel it into his yard doing something like that. Just dont do something thats creative, yet at the same time is a jailable offense.
2007-03-09 15:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by caring black guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately i am like your friend in this situation. Sometimes when i think about it i feel bad for how much i've ranted and raved about my problems with particular friends. It's just that they are always there to listen. One day my friend told me to think about what topic often comes up in converstation with her, and to add it all up. And i started thinking about it. She even timed me once! now everytime she catches me bringing it up, she says, "oh, here we go about ___ again...."...i get her point and change the subject immediately
Your friend isn't doing it because he wants to annoy you, it's just that he finds you to be a good supportive listener. In that respect I would be flattered but if you are at the point where enough is enough, you're gonna have to seriously step up your objections to the topic of discussion, much like my friend did. maybe set some boundaries. For example, look "Larry", i know this sounds harsh, but we can talk about "Mary" and the whole ordeal for no more than 5 minutes per day. i will time you and after that discussion closed. Or, say it twists your mind into a pretzel when you have to help him figure it all out because you know no better than he does what is going on there. Or perhaps he should go to a therapist. Just remember that your friend isn't trying to be annoying, but this topic is clearly taking up a lot of his thoughts so it naturally comes outwhen he is talking because it is always on his mind. maybe he'll get the hint and either find someone else to discuss girl problems, deal with the emotions another way, take his mind off her so he doesn't feel the need to discuss her, see a therapist or something else!!
I dont' know if that's helpful, good luck!!
2007-03-09 23:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by erockairheaven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you are his friend and you are there for him but you cannot continue to listen to this. Tell him how you feel about the situation and leave it at that. Tell him that his talking constantly about this is ruining the friendship and you don't want to see that happen.
2007-03-09 23:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well there are good and bad things to it. He doesnt have anyone to talk to and he has been your friend for years. Have patience with him, but tell him directly one time, that wat he is going through is his problem. Start hanging out with him less and less, this will give him time to think about his own problems.
2007-03-09 23:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by taty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋