Hey waz up my fellas diz dee again,I asked a question couple of weeks ago abt me being in closet and falling in love with straight dude ;Most of the responses stated to let it go but still im still in love w/ same boi,Im so obsessed w/ him that i dont eat,dont sleep,all i do is think abt him and feel depressed,i know this sounds like crap but i get a vibe from him every time i see him ,like he wants to say sum,i love him w/ all my heart and would do anything to recieve his love .I tried being freinds but i get so nervous when i even see him talking is far-fetched.Somebody plz help me before i drive myself crazy.If i was open and out i might have finished this long ago but i live in small town being gay here is like sheep among wolves,so someone plz understand my situation and not judge me -and tell should i let it go or work on it cause i dont think i can for myself no more/i know this sounds crazy but im totally obsessed behind someone who i dont think gives a fudge abt me.
2007-03-09 15:40:56 · 10 answers · asked by Dee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dude, I hate to say this, but it's all up to you. That's right, yourself. You have to make a conscious decision here and now: do you want to obsess over this guy, or not? Because if you don't, you seriously need to find out different ways of getting past it.
Don't think that this is something that is exclusive to yourself, however. Many others have dealt with it, straight or otherwise. But the best thing you can do is figure out what's best for you, and proceed from that base. Look at it like you would climbing a mountain; you have to get to the top, but this guy's in the way, right? So, what do you do? You take a different way up. So, with this in mind, maybe you should just relax and go and meet new and different people. At the very least, you'll make new friends; at the most, you might meet someone you'll like just as much as, or even better than, your ex. Okay?
2007-03-09 15:49:58 · answer #1 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay. if you're not out, chasing around a straight guy is definitely not the way to go!
That said, most gays have crushes on straights because when you're young it's not as clear who's who or what's what.
Here's the deal:
You are obsessing over this guy because it is safer for you to do that than to admit that you're gay and look for a gay boyfriend. This is something that will never happen so for now you are very focused on it as an outlet for your gay feelings. Unfortunately this is an outlet that will not have a healthy ending. If he's straight he's definitely not into you!
Just see this as what it is, and give yourself time to understand yourself better. You have to let yourself understand that you're just using this guy as your "scapegoat" and don't really love him, this isn't love you said it you're just obsessing. I am from a small town and know thru some friends how it is, it's not easy to be "the gay guy" in your class in smaller towns.
Youth is hard for everyone, and it's harder for you because of where you live. What state do you live in? In larger towns no one would even care. Just start saving money so you can go to college in a big town or move somewhere to experience your life.
And once you get there, always wear condoms, please! ;)
Good luck~
2007-03-09 15:50:50 · answer #2 · answered by MissDixie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how that feels. I have a crush on this guy that took over my life but what almost 8 years later I still love the guy but it never went anywhere. I just found someone else to date... and I know that is hard for you being that your in the closet. Would you perfer he hates you because you are in love with him and he isn't like that? I can't walk in your shoes but the first thing you have to do is be true to yourself. If your gay then let it be known, I think people should never hide who they are. It's also when you find out who is going to stand by you. I fell in love with a gay guy once. I told him and he kinda laughed at me but we were friends so he let me down easy. I knew it had no future. Do kill yourself over a guy who you "dont think gives a fudge abt me" Channel that energy into something else. Me, I write poetry about my crushes, loves and failed relationships.
2007-03-09 15:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by Unique Poet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's difficult to be in love with somebody, or at least THINK you are in love with somebody who is likely not reciprocating.
It would be excellent for you to seek the help of a therapist (from university, school, insurance, extra, etc.) You have a good chance of escalating your pain if you continue with this. If this fellow liked you, he would have done something. You need to know that you are worth being cared about by somebody who can return the feelings.
How about hanging out with people who can introduce you to gay people? Some real people to have crushes on. You sound like you are not necessarily in love with this guy, but creating some sort of fantasy about him. This is likely not real love, even though it feels like it. It's infatuation. A lot of times people become infatuated because it's easier to bare the pain of obssessive love rather than enter into a realistic relationship which is A LOT harder.
Good luck, don't be unkind to yourself, and seek out another outlet for a while. You will soon forget about this guy. Believe me, EVERYBODY goes through this at one time or another in life, GAY OR STRAIGHT.
Good luck =)
2007-03-09 20:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by shoshana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're projecting. The only vibe you get is created in your own head. You probably spin every little gesture or sentence and overanalyze it, creating and seeing something that is not there. You like boys, so let me put it to you this way. What if a girl you just thought of as friends, thought the same thing about you, even though you have no thoughts like that about her? It would be creepy. So stop being creepy and find a gay boy like yourself instead of dreaming about an impossible relationship.
I guarantee you will destroy your friendship if you told any of this to your friend, coz I sure as hell would never talk to any friend of mine that professed their love or thought crazy sh!t like that to me.
2007-03-09 15:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i recognize a lot of people who've that humorousness. those human beings certainly need to objective and keep quiet because of the fact what they say is fairly offensive. To be honest nonetheless, he would have not found out how offensive it became into so he suggested it out loud questioning it might get a pair laughs. I actually have a solid buddy who I swear has little to no heart and he makes jokes approximately how a individual died each and every of the time. His finished take is " Who cares, they're lifeless. as quickly as I die, you are able to all make relaxing of me. I wont care because of the fact i'm going to be lifeless!" some human beings are stressful to appreciate!
2016-12-18 09:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't MAKE him gay just because YOU are. If he's interested in you, he'll let you know. In the meantime, do yourself a favor & let it go man! Obsession is dangerous in many ways, especially if he doesn't reciprocate. You could end up in traction, then you really COULDN'T eat! and depression? you would be praying for a chance to feel depressed rather than "broken up" literally...
2007-03-09 15:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by lizrdluvnmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely in a bind and i know it seems you can't fight your feelings but the truth is you can and when you finally do you'll realize that you might not like guys anymore.
2007-03-09 15:47:48 · answer #8 · answered by leona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh god!!!!!!! u r really crazy...... watz the guys name anyway..shud hav mentioned it............
try contacting him thru e-mails(the best way)....open ur heart thru this and tell him that u luv him frm the depth of ur heart...
he wud luv u probably.....try 2 do things dat wud please him...
2007-03-09 21:36:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aaallllllaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh madad kar is diwane ki !!!!
God please forgive himand guide him !!!
Bhagwan Raksha Kare !!!
Man ..................................................... phew .......
common ... get a girl and get laid .. u will feel the reall deal only then man .........
regards
2007-03-09 17:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by Smarts 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋