how do i tell my mom i'm a cutter?

Question

i cut myself. yes, i know bad. I have a therapist but I'm way too afraid to tell him. I told one of my friends, well actually two. Now, it's like all the do is worry about me which i dont like. Ok, well actually i didnt tell them they kinda saw it. So, I need help. What do I do? I mean please say more than stop cutting or tell your parents or your shrink. Has anyone been through this before? Can someone tell me how they did it?

after a particular comment
i just wanted to say
i dont cut because its some fad
or because i want attention if i wanted attention you really think i would wear sweaters everyday and jeans? so know you are all assuming that since i cut im emo well i gotta say that is a bit biased dont you think? i wrote this because i'm scared of being possibly institutionalized or being told i have to take antipyschotics
i wrote this for advice on how i should break the news though i should have expected at least one of you to say something uncalled for
but see kinda makes you wonder
who's to say that one little comment isnt the one that pushes me over the edge?

Answer 1

tell your nurse at school she take it from there, or your guidance counselor. my stories a little different. my son thought i was in trouble so he told these people and they called me in and talked to me, so I know they will help you I was just a mom who needed help so I'm sure they will know the right things to say to you, I know the one thing my son said to me was I don't want to lose you.(spent a week in the hospital) so i'm saying to you on behalf of your friends and live ones we don't want to lose you I don't know you but you could be the President in the years to come or someone who could invent away to make my son walk again *car wreck paralyzed) so please don't take those chance away from us. Your to valuable, Your friends need you, your parents needs you and the world needs you because with you in it you make the world a brighter place

After reading this if you think you can talk to mom and want to talk to me some more just email I listen I won't laugh I have big shoulders and I talk to mom to if you want. I been though a lot my son was paralzyed right before his 18 birthday

Answer 2

I like how Sixx up there has the nerve to call you selfish, even though he/she is obviously too self-centered to have any empathy for you.

In any case, you don't to tell your mom if you don't feel comfortable. You said you told two friends and don't like how they worry about you... You mom would be the same. It's really your business if you want to tell people or not. Other people can't help you nearly as much as you can help yourself. If you don't like what you're doing or where you are, you have to convince YOURSELF that you should change. I used to cut and I stopped, mainly because I was so sick of having to wear long sleeves or else have people see who had no business knowing. I also became really disgusted at the damage I was causing myself. I'd look at the arm I didn't cut and how nice and smooth and perfect and beautiful the skin was and think about how I ruined the other one, and it would make me so sad that eventually I started cutting more and more shallowly, then stopped.

I also personally found that letting anybody know caused more damage than good. I actually lost one friend that way... Because he was too weirded-out to be my friend anymore after he found out. He actually told me that. Yay. The sort of attention you get when you tell people something like that might seem appealing at first, but it's really not so great. I assume you've learned that a bit with your two friends worrying though.

Answer 3

It can definitely be scary trying to tell someone something you know they don't want to hear, especially something this personal. By your even asking I'm guessing you have spent a lot of time thinking about who to tell and how to tell them. One thing to keep in mind is that once you do tell someone you will be able to stop worrying about people finding out and how to go about disclosing the information. Secrets are hard to keep and in this case, not a good idea to keep. It will be a relief to you once you have told someone. Decide who to tell--your therapist, your mom, or any other adult you are comfortable with. If you can't tell them straight out write a letter and mail it to them when you are feeling bold or even send an email. Either way there is no taking it back. You will obviously follow up with a conversation but at least then it is out there.

Answer 4

You need to find a different outlet when you're upset. Go for a walk or a run, pick up the phone and call a friend. Or if you want to talk to a neutral party every city has an anonymous help line you can call if you're having problems. What you need is to start dealing with the emotions and things that you hold in and can't deal with.Not fun but in the long run it will help so you stop hurting yourself. And yes of course you really need to sit down and talk to your mom. Sometimes the ones we love surprise us and don't have the reactions we expect. Give your mom a chance and let her try to help you. Lastly, I have no doubt that you'll be able to find support groups online with people that have dealt with this themselves. Goodluck

Answer 5

If you are scared to tell your parents maybe it would be easier for you to write down what you want to tell your parents and give them a letter. That way you would be able to say what you want to say without being interupted and they would be able to find out exactly what is going on. It will still be hard, but i think that may be easier on you. You could still be present at the time and after the letter is read it would most likely be easier for you to talk about it. Im sure that once you tell your parents you will feel a lot better. It will be a lot of stress off your shoulders.
I also think that writing everything down may help you as well. I find that if im upset about something writing my feelings down makes me feel much better.
Good luck, hope it goes well and your parents will be supportive.

Answer 6

Sweetheart, the best advice that I or anyone can give you is to be honest with not only yourself but everyone else in your life. It sounds like you are reaching out because you are telling "alot" of people here, so suck it up and be honest with your family and your therapist and perhaps tell them all together. You will be fine and remember they are all there to help you. I have no doubt that your parents have total unconditional love for you!!! Remember that!!!! Now, make your plan and stick to it, go over the speech in your head and then just do it. Again, you will be fine. Good luck and best wishes. God bless!!!

Answer 7

Cutting is simply a way to express something from your life that you feel you cannot control or otherwise overcome.

This issue is close to my heart for someone in my life is a recovering cutter.

It is a day by day decision just as with any other addiction.
For that is exactly what it is - addiction.

This information whether shared with your therapist or family member will bring about some healing for you tho for you will be able to express that you do it and then maybe share what causes you to come to the point of need.
Reaction from a parent will certainly be one expressed from inward fear first so do not mistake anger for not caring.....it can be a hard thing for a parent to hear that your child hurts themself to bring relief to themself.

But realize it can become a dangerous threat to your very life if not treated.
Help can come from a therapist in a facility or thru mental health care worker or even your medical caretaker.
For this is something larger than you until you get it under control in your head and then thru your physcial control.

You are a much braver person than you realize tho - for you have already openly confessed it and the desire for help here.
Am very proud of you and wish you much success for it can be beat ..... seek out some sources and most of all be honest with yourself.

Give this burden to God - He cares for you as no other can!

Praying for you!!!

Answer 8

Know that you are not alone.

When and if you tell your mom that you self harm, let her know that you're telling her because you love her and feel she has a right to know. Some parents might think that by telling them you are trying to upset or threaten them. Make it clear that this is not your intention.

Be sensitive to your mom's feelings. She might be thinking that it is her fault. Try to tell her in private, at a time when you won't be hurried or interrupted. Try not to get mad if she is angry, starts crying, etc. Remember this is hard on both of you.

Here are some support groups/information on self injury

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
This website is great, it has first aid tips, what to say when strangers ask about your scars, and other things.

http://www.self-injury.net/
Has artwork and a forum.

I have Trich (ie Tirchtillomania-it means pulling out one's hair), and I know that people can be cruel and judgemental. I wish you the best of luck, whatever you may choose to do.

-Skitzy

Answer 9

You need to search yourself for the answer as to why you cut. You need to come to grips with what is on your mind and you need to love and respect yourself. Once you achieve self respect, that will be more than half the battle. Cutting is what you do to yourself. No one is doing it to you. I don't know you and I don't know what your life is like and so it's hard to answer your question.

I've known many people who disrespected themselves in one way or the other. Whatever their method of becoming undone, it has always been a drastic means of calling attention to themselves. Some of them realized that they should not expect from others, more than what they are willing to give. In other words, they realized that no one owed them a thing. They've had to take charge of their own lives and they took great pride in having done that.

Good luck. I hope things come together in your mind and I hope you go past this.

Answer 10

You NEED to tell someone you TRUST- who can sit down with you & your Mom & discuss this. A common relative, or friend- or whoever you know who will LISTEN & not freak out about the subject. If you don't trust your therapist- then get a NEW one. But DO something about this...soon. Hang in there. & Good luck.