I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and at times I have trouble accepting his past. I just wanted to know if anyone else has had similar troubles, and if so, how did you deal with it?
2007-03-09 15:22:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No. I don't think I'd ever get involved with someone whose past bothered me. The past is usually indicative of the future.
2007-03-09 15:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
At times I still have trouble dealing with various aspects of my husband's past (it's been about 3 yrs) and he sometimes has trouble with mine. Don't worry, that's normal. What you have to assess is how the past affects the present and whether the present is acceptable to you or not. There are two thoughts to keep in mind. First is that the past is gone- Poof! If he used to smoke and no longer does, well, he's a non-smoker! Even if he dated lots of other girls, he's yours now! But on the other hand, a person's personality doesn't change. So if the past reveals an aspect of his personality that you dislike, you may have to look into how that is playing out in the present.
2007-03-09 15:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by Du S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a courting the place love is shared the two tactics, the two one's previous shouldn't rely. In my modern-day courting, my lady pal knows finished nicely that i'm no longer a virgin, and he or she's thoroughly pleased with it. That being reported, in case you're actually not keen to permit the courting end over this, then i might say permit the previous stay in the previous. tell him to try this too. that's the previous. no rely how lots he won't settle for it, neither he nor you are able to exchange it. and actual don't sense responsible approximately it! you probably did stuff, stuff befell. that is not going to all of sudden un-ensue. circulate on!
2016-09-30 11:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by faim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think that the majority of us out here have some kind of problem, hesitation or resistance to accept some ones past, specially if is some one that we really care for, some body we love, the real test comes when we finally realize that we are having that issue, cause that is the time to step up to he plate and show that our feelings are for real and that we accept our partner no matter what.
the truth in all this is that we do not need to accept no ones past we need to learn to respect it, and understand that the person we love and are for today,is who it is in part because of that past.
2007-03-09 15:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he not deserve a chance to be a better person? This is why some people decide to keep things hidden from their past. If you do not get past this, your relationship has no future. I would be going by how he has been doing since you two have been together.
2007-03-09 15:25:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well my momz bf was on his 2nd strike. it scared me cuz hes a body builder [gotta do sumthin in jail] n hes 24 inch in bicept and 6'2. humongous. i was scared of him for yrs. then i got 2 noe him n i realized it was jus a stage of "ignorant youth". he did all the bad stuff in his young "badass" yrs so hes more mature. now i trust him all the way. but since this is ur bf...u gotta move closer to him [emotionally] faster than i did. so heres my only tip. the second he slips into his old ways-leave. the second he shows a sign of abusive behavior LEAVE!!!!! no matter how many gifts he gives u, watever, hell say he loves u but itll only happen again until ur stuck in an abusive relationship. ask professional [doc?] that will noe about abusive behaviors about the "cycle". i don remember the names of the stages, btu i remember theres three. startin with the honeymoon stage. gud 2 u. nxt-moves into verbal abuse. nxt-physical abuse. next-honeymoon stage gives gifts, im sorry won do it again. as u go along, this will disapper leavin jus abuse. as soon as u see abuse or old bad habits get out. it will only get worse, n ur safety is more important. plenty of fish in the sea. follow this n ur gud. remember. i noe this personally. itll work. hav a lil faith in ur bf, jus not too too much......
2007-03-09 15:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did, but our relationship didn't last. But it depends on what you mean. If he has a criminal record i would chuck him and that bad reputation in the trash. but if it is a bad girlfriend or family reputation get over it and move on with your wonderful relationship.
2007-03-09 15:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by GirlyGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i didn't i just accept a person as they are and know that everyone makes mistakes and those mistakes make them who they are now good or bad and you should know that too. don't be judgemental because it could always be you on the other side in their shoes
2007-03-09 15:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by Juliaysha247 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you really care about someone you eventually make peace with their past and move forward.
2007-03-09 15:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by HoneyBrisk 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you have to accept him for what he is now and let the past go or you will ruin your relationship.
2007-03-09 15:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by misse 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋